When You Fall Asleep Tonight (Sequel To My Understandings)

Austin stares at me and Gielle. Shayley holds Matthew. Gielle holds me back so I can’t beat the living shit out of Crissy. I may be skinny as hell, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t put up a fight.

I breathe in and out, a piece of blonde hair flying up and down with each breath. I let my eyes burn into his, seeking the very inside and setting everything in path on fire.

“What is wrong with you?” It doesn’t come out as a yell or a screech which surprises everyone. He doesn’t respond. Shayley quickly lets himself in Austin’s house and comes back moments later…..without Matthew. “Shayley, go back in there and get. My. Son.” As he leaves again, I stare at Austin again. “I said, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” I yell louder, taking a step to him, only to have Gielle restrain me.

“Ellie, please, I-”

“You can explain?!” I laughed. “Humor me. no, wait, you’re gonna say, ‘I didn’t mean this. It was a mistake, I’m sorry. I love you.’ Bull-fucking-shit. Austin.” Austin takes a gulp.

“Please,”

“WE HAVE A KID!!” tears were now present in my eyes. My heart has never broke so much in this moment. “What about the engagement?” I thought back to the photo when I thought about it. The photo. “You did move on. The engagement was just for show.” I say slowly as everything process through my mind.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I slide it open, without even looking at the notification. I wish I did. It was a picture from Austin on Twitter. A picture of a jewelry store.
Time to move on.
The caption read.And next to him was a bimbo Play Bunny girl.

“You’ve been done with me.” I whispered. Shayley comes back once it’s quiet down. “Shayley, take Matthew back inside.” Shayley groans, but obeys.

“I wish people weren’t afraid of love.” Shayley muttered looking dead at Austin and I.

“Ellie, please,” he reaches for me.

“Shut up!” I yell, startling Gielle a bit. Her grip tightens on my arms. “I don’t wanna hear it. Just,”

Tears rolled down my cheek. I wanted to wipe them away so I wouldn’t be in defeat, but it was no use. “I’ll be back after Warped to pick him up. I just want you to look at Matthew every day and see what a fucking screw up you are. What a mistake you made.”

I step closer to him. Or at least tried to, Gielle was a pretty strong woman. “I want you to realize you chose her over me. I want you to realize that while you were fucking her, you missed the first two months of his life. I want you to realize your son will be disappointed in you. I want you to realize how disappointed your mother will and is going to be.” I let my words hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Ellie,” he puts a hand on me, I shove it off. I turn to Crissy.

“I hope Ronnie finds out about this. Because I will tell him if you don’t. Ronnie’s like a big brother to me. I want your son to be disappointed. I hope when Austin moves on to the next whore, the one he moves on to breaks you in half.” I turn to Austin again. He had tears brimming his eyes.

So this time I'll make you proud, you son of a butt. I will.

“I am honest, I'm a liar, but I’m a free woman. I am vital, I am tired, so fucking tired Austin. But I am a brave man, but you’re the coward that won’t admit to his mistakes. I am a lot of things, but mostly, I am, most importantly never concerned with what I am not. I am forever more than just surviving. This is my life,” I say flailing my arms around the scene in front of us.

He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of t.

“And that son in there is my life and this life is my diamond.”

Notes

Nope, nope. Not the end.