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When You Fall Asleep Tonight (Sequel To My Understandings)


My eyes quickly opened as the memory subsided into the back corner of my mind. Vic. Of all people to be dreaming about, why Vic?

And more importantly, where’s everybody? The hospital room is empty and the room is dark.

Sitting up, I kick my feet so the blanket would fall and sit up, letting my legs dangle over the side of the bed. Scanning around the room, I tried to find any signs that I had given birth, I had given birth, right?

I stand up, unhooking the IV from the machine behind me and carrying the IV bag and the stand down the hall with me, it’s wheels making little squealing noises. My side had an aching feeling to it, it felt as if it was bruised. I decided to ignore it, probably from giving birth.

If you even gave birth.

The hall was dark. Was it nighttime? Or had something bad happened and the nurses fled? I shook my head and hoped it wasn’t that. I looked at the passing room next to me. the nursery. I quickly looked behind me and made sure no one was watching before I went in. the little babies were just sleeping soundly in their blue or pink hats and outfits, with the names printed on the front.

Kevin Moore, Kyla Johnson,Brooke Maddison….Daniel Knight. That took a stab right to my heart. I turned my attention away and continued down the aisle reading the names until I finally came upon it. In the corner of the room by the chair and the wall.

Matthew Carlile.

Tears brimmed the corner of my eyes as I looked down at the sleeping boy below me. he looked so much like Austin, even with the tiny bits of me in it. His hair was already a light chocolate brown color, a perfect mix combination of both our hair colors. He just looks so peaceful sleeping.

Ignoring the feeling of the IV moving inside my arm, I lean down and pick up Matthew, cradling him in my arms. His mouth slightly opened, forming a perfect little ‘o’.

I sat on the chair next to his little bed and held him, leaning my head on the window so my neck wouldn’t hurt.

It was the most amazing feeling ever. My heart couldn’t contain its excitement as if flutter expeditiously in my chest. I can’t believe that…I helped create something so beautiful.

This has to be the best mistake I ever made.

“Matthew,” I whispered, taking his little finger in my hand and shaking it. “I love you.” I started to rock backwards and forwards, humming some songs quietly as I started to drift off myself.

“Your granddad would….” I yawned. “He would be so proud.”

Ms. Schmitt. Ms. Schmitt.” I opened my eyes a little to see a nurse standing in front of me with a smile on her face. behind her was Tony and Jaime, cooing over Matthew.

“What? What’s going on?” I asked as I sat up. I groaned and rubbed my hip. It still had the pain in it.

“You fell asleep here, holding Matthew.” She said. I looked around and saw that half the babies that were here last night are now gone.

“I’m sorry.” I say as I stretched, the IV making a little tickling sensation in my arm.

“Don’t be!!” she exclaimed. “We weren’t expecting you to wake until a couple days.” She quickly fixed her cherry hair into a bun before walking over to me to examine myself.

“Couple days? I just gave birth, what happened?” I squeezed my eyes as she began adjusting the IV.

“You were complaining about pain in your abdomen, am I correct?” I nod. “Your appendix is what was making that pain. We had to remove it. It was pretty close to bursting. If you hadn’t blacked out from low blood pressure after birthing, you surely would’ve died.” She says nonchalantly.

“What?!” I screech. I instantly regret it when Matthew starts to cry. I flinch and walk over to Tony, taking him out of his arms and cradling him in my arms.

“Shhhh. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He continues cry. “Highs and lows. There are pits and lands. On the ground that you stand. So, flux and flow. Flux and flow,” Matthews crying subsides to a little whimper as I continue to hold him.

I could’ve died? I could’ve died and not been able to cherish his moment?

That’s scary to even think about. What would Austin had done if I did die?

Wait, “Where’s Austin?” I asked. Tony was the one to tense up. He cleared his throat and didn’t meet my eyes.

“He uh, kinda freaked out after you passed out. When they took you into surgery, all he was was
an empty room and assumed you….you know. Shortly after you came back out, Vic and I were talking and Vic suddenly sprang up and went to find Austin.”

“Where are they? When was this?”

“Two days ago. And-” the nursery door barged opened and in came Austin, in tears and his face was red.

“Ellie, I’m sorry. Don’t read the text Vic sent you.” I furrowed my eyes together.

“Text? I don’t even have my phone with me. Why?” I frowned. Austin stopped breathing heavily,but he wouldn’t train his eyes on me.


“ELLIE!” Vic runs in, crowding the little nursery.

“Sir, you have to leave-”


“What?!” Tony, Jaime, and I screech.

“Vic shut up!” Austin takes his fist back and punched Vic in the jaw. Vic staggers back and hits his head on the window before slumping to the ground.

“Oh my God! Vic!” I quickly hand Matthew to the nurse and run to the Vic, letting the IV snapped out of my vein.

“Ms. Schmitt! Your arm!!!”

Vic’s face was started to turn red and bruise. The nurse kneels down next to me and wraps something around my arm, she stays by my side.

“Austin, what is your problem?” I ask while Jaime and Tony hold him back.

“He’s lying! He’s lying!” he yells. He fights back the urge to cry, right then, I know he’s hiding something.

“Vic, what happened?” keeping one hand over his face, he reaches down and pulls his phone out.

“NO! Vic! Ellie! Don’t listen to him!” he hands me his phone and I go through his messages under my contact name. I didn’t even want to look. I hand the phone to the nurse.

“Austin had sex with someone, check your voicemail.” She reads. I see Austin’s eyes go wide. An uneasy feelings fills my stomach.

“Tony, go get my bag.” Tony let’s go of Austin’s grip and Austin tries to break free, but Jaime keeps a firm grip.

Anticipation fills the room. While I keep a firm grip on Vic’s hand, the nurse keeps a grip on my arms that’s still bleeding. Tony returns a few minutes later with my phone.

“The passcode is Lights.” I say.

“It’s a voicemail from Austin.” I take a deep breath. I look from Austin to Tony to Jaime to Vic to Matthew, who’s in his crib.

Play it.”




There's a sequel! Don't worry!!!

NO YOU CAN"T LEAVE IT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! -sobs-

Cassie Cassie


niamh niamh

Pls let them be together

niamh niamh

Austin needs to get his sheit together.....

Cassie Cassie