"I'm going on break, you guys!" I called to the crew when my friends Alice and Eric asked me to go to the balcony with them to have a drink.

I work at a concert venue called Neumos. We're the best at what we do and we've never had a show that didn't run smoothly. My best friend, Alice is a bartender, Eric helps set up the stage, and I'm in control of accommodating all of the bands and setting up the green room. Of course there are a lot of other people who work here, but I can't be bothered to name all of them.

Jeff, our older manager with an insane beard, yelled back, "All of you have thirty minutes, then you better find a way to sober the fuck up!" We all laughed. "You know the deal, guys!"

"Hey, are you gonna chop Kenzie and Alice's taint off if we mess up too? Or is that just a rule for the guys?" Eric, who works closest with Jeff, asked.

"It's tits or taint," He answered. "Whichever ones you've got, they come off."

Alice laughed as we walked up the stairs, "Some of the guys could do well with losing a bit of boob. What do you guys want to drink?"

"Red bull and vodka," both Eric and I answer. You have to keep up energy working at a place like Neumos. Alice mixed up our drinks and we sat down at a table close to the stage.

"Tonight is gonna be fucking ridiculous," Eric reminded us for the five hundredth time. "Eight bands, starting at seven at night? We're not gonna get out of here until three in the fucking morning and I have class at eight."

Andy, another one of our stage hands, was walking past and commented that Eric should "stop complaining all of the fucking time".

"It happens all the time," Alice said rolling her eyes. "You always make it to class and you always stay awake so just chill out."

"Yeah, you're acting like a tool," I took a sip of my drink.

"Man, fuck you, Kenzie."

"Man, blow me, Eric." I retorted, mimicking his tone.

"Oh, I meant to tell you about my new development on our 'Jacob is gay' theory." Eric whispered, just in case Jacob was somewhere around us.

"Dude, I've been doing so much investigating, but I hit a block after the Elton John cd in his car."

Eric scoffed, "Oh, trust me. This is way better than anything we've found before."

"I'm so ready for this!" I said getting excited.

"The other day me and Jacob were hanging out in the lounge before we closed up and when he went to the bathroom, I started looking through all of his shit and I found a whole bunch of different sized condoms. Why the fuck would that be necessary? Is his penis Mr. Fantastic?"

"Oh my gosh!" Alice laughed. "I'm totally convinced. We need a crew meeting to address Jacob's gayness."

"Why would he leave his stuff around you?" I said with a raised eyebrow. "You're so damn nosy!"

Eric shook his head, "I don't know, but I'm never using the urinal next to him ever again."

"Speaking of urinals," Alice giggled, "I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

I shook my head, "No shame in your game."

"None at all," she confirmed.

Eric and I sat in comfortable silence while Alice was gone, sometimes taking sips of our drinks, but generally just resting before the show started. All of a sudden, Eric got a concerning, puzzled look on his face.

"What?" I asked, urging him to say whatever the hell was causing him to make that face.

"Asking Alexandria doesn't play here tonight, do they?"

My heart dropped at the name, but I maintained composure, "No."

"Then why is their guitarist down there talking to Jeff?" Eric pointed past me, to the ground floor.

"What?" This time I shouted in genuine panic, turning to see Ben Bruce standing near the entrance talking to my boss. I buried my face in my hands. Why would he possibly be here?
I guess I shouldn't have drawn so much attention to myself because as soon as Alice walked to the table, Jeff called us down to get back to work.

"It's only been fifteen minutes!" Eric yelled at Jeff.

"Good job, Eric. You can read a clock! Now if you learn how to read a book you'll really have something going for you," Jeff teased. "Stop complaining and get back to work."

"Alice, you have to hide me," I said, walking abnormally close to her.

"Why? What's going on?" She asked.

"Yeah, what is going on?" Eric asked. He didn't know what happened between Ben and me about a year ago.

"Ben," I whispered to Alice leaning my head, pointedly in his direction. She looked over my shoulder and her eyes got really wide.

Alice pushed me behind her as we walked onstage to set up the tour's banner.

"What is going on?" Eric asked again getting louder due to his impatient attitude.

I shushed him and whispered, "We can't talk about it right now."

"Did you sleep with the guitarist?" He questioned, thankfully a lot quieter and with a big smile.

"Eric, nothing is going on! Help set the microphones up," Alice said pushing him.

"Fine, if nothing's going on then it won't matter if I--" and without warning, Eric rolled one of the empty equipment cases at me, knocking me over. This drew some extremely unwanted attention to me. I heard Alice call Eric a "jackass" and it sounded like she hit him too.

The next thing I hear is Jeff telling Ben, "Her name is Kenzie... Makenzie. Not Jenna."

I stayed laid out on the floor of the stage hoping that I could wake up from this nightmare, but it only got worse.

"Makenzie?" A painfully familiar voice called my name from only inches away.

I squeezed my eyes tighter together until I got enough courage to look at him. Somewhat ashamed of myself, I quietly said, "Hi, Ben."

He shook his head in disbelief, "You didn't even tell me your real name." It wasn't a question. Ben looked partially pissed and partially upset. He began to walk away and somehow I found myself chasing after him.

"Ben, please stop walking away from me," I called after him.

He turned around suddenly, making me jump back a couple of inches."I wanted to come here to fucking talk to you, but instead, I find out that you didn't even tell me your real name the entire fucking time!"

He continued to go off on me as I tried to calm him down, "Ben! Jenna is my real name!" He finally stopped yelling. "Makenzie is my middle name and Jenna is my first, but nobody else has called me Jenna since I was three. You can look at my license if you want to." Ben seemed to mildly calm down. "Why did you come here?"

"Like I said, I want to talk about everything. Today is our day off, so I just thought it was worth a shot."

I looked at him remembering the rare, sweet moments he could have and then immediately erased them from my mind. "I have to work a huge show tonight. I can't right now. I'm really sorry."

"Alice or someone can fill in for you," Ben suggested.

"I could try to ask, but we have a sold out house tonight and eight bands are playing. It's not likely to happen."

"Fine, see you next tour, then," Ben said with a huge fuck you laced in his words.

I sighed, "Ben, where are you playing tomorrow night?"

"The Hard Rock," he answered me simply.

I felt bad for asking, "Can we talk then?"

"Whatever."

"Ben, I'm serious. I'll go to your show tomorrow if you really want to talk. Hell, I'll go to fucking China to have this talk if it means you'll stop looking at me like you hate me." I said truthfully.

He thought about it for a minute, "I'll put you on the list."

I waved goodbye as he walked out the door. Everything was my fault and I knew it. I'm the one who broke the rules first and then I couldn't handle it when Ben decided to do the same thing. Me and Ben could have been best friends right now, or even possibly a couple if I wasn't so stupid, but we're not because I fucked up.

Notes

Hey!
Thanks for reading my new story :)
It means sooooo much to me!
This first chapter is slow because it's all character background
but it starts picking up twoard the middle of the next chapter :)
Also, most of this story is going to be a huge flashback so you can see what happened between Kenzie ("Jenna") and Ben.
And all of the chapters won't be long because if I pressure myself to make huge chapters,
they'll never get done haha
THANKS FOR READING <3