Catfish'd
1/1
Every time my phone vibrates there are butterflies all because of her. I started talking to Alyssa after Alan gave me her number. It’s been three months and we keep hinting at dating but I want to meet her first -- but she’s always busy and I’m always busy. I keep nagging Alan about it and he just rolls his eyes at me. Tino, Phil and Aaron all swear up and down that it’s a Catfish and I’m starting to think that maybe they’re right. Alyssa doesn’t like talking on the phone because she doesn’t have good service. Her computer doesn’t have a webcam and FaceTime crashes all the time. Maybe I’m blinded by my puppy love because up until now, I never gave a second thought to her excuses.
“So, I e-mailed those Catfish guys; Max and Nev,” I tell Alan as I plop down beside him on the bus. The guitarist has a mouthful of beer that he quickly swallows and almost chokes on.
“Dude, don’t get your hopes up that they’re going to reply to you… I’m sure they have a billion reque--”
Before he can say anything else, I am shoving their reply in Alan’s face. He grabs my iPhone away from me and stares at it for a minute.
“Austin, I should just tell yo--”
“They’re coming tomorrow!” I announce, taking my phone back with a grin. I am both nervous and excited. I have high hopes that Alyssa exists because I love her. She understands me in a way that not even my best friends do. She’s not like other girls I’ve known. She’s the one.
“Great,” Alan mumbles before resuming his game of Star Wars Angry Birds.
Tomorrow rolls around and I am vibrating with nervous energy. There are camera crews everywhere -- something I’m not completely stranger to. It does seem strange not to see Adam smiling from behind the lens though. I sit with Max and Nev and we hover over their laptop. Where the rest of the band has gone off to, I’m not sure. I haven’t seen Alan since last night. I haven’t heard from Alyssa all day.
“So, tell us about you and Alyssa…”
Max has pulled up her Facebook page that was created three and a half months ago. Just before we started talking. According to the two of them, this isn’t a good sign.
“I don’t know,” I shrug. “She just told me she doesn’t really like using Facebook…” I list off all her other excuses too. They run her photos through Google and find that she is really a model named Lara Jade. By the end of the day I’ve lost hope. I feel lied to and broken hearted. Max and Nev pack up and say they’re going to try and track the number tonight at their hotel. Awhile after the crew leaves, the band finds their way back onto the bus.
“Where’s Alan?” I ask almost immediately. The whole band shrugs.
“Last time we saw him he was leaving the bar to go smoke some pot,” Phil mentions.
I sigh and crawl into my bunk. Still no texts from Alyssa or Alan. I curl up with one of the plush toys a fan has given me and hold back tears until I fall asleep.
Everyone is up early again. I wake up to a text from Alyssa. A simple ‘I love you, teddy!” Despite this, I don’t have hope that she’s real. I wander around for awhile while the band talks to Max and Nev. There is still no sign of Alan and I’m getting worried.
“So, we found some stuff last night,” Nev says as we sit down again; pouring over the MacBook.
“The phone number is from Costa Mesa, California and you said she’s from Arizona.”
“Alan’s from Costa Mesa,” I blurt almost instantly; my throat tightens and I suddenly want all these cameras away from my face.
“Right,” Nev says as he continues scrolling. “We were also able to see on Alyssa’s facebook where and when her photos and status updates were being posted from… And they coincide with where you’ve been on tour.”
They push the laptop towards me and I see updated near: Los Angeles, LAX Airport, San Antonio, O’Hare Airport… and so on.
“So, she’s stalking me?” I joke, even though I know… I know.
“We were talking to the guys earlier too and they told us that Alyssa is--”
“It’s Alan, isn’t it?” I say before Max can even finish his sentence. It all makes sense now. But how? How and why? I don’t know whether or not to be angry. I see Max and Nev nod and I’m off the bus in a flash; calling Alan.
“Austin, look before you get mad--” Alan picks up in a hurry. His words come out at a mile a minute.
“Where are you?” I ask stoically, staring out at the parking lot ahead of me. Of course, Alan gives me the name of some tattoo parlor and I immediately head that way; cameras following. I want to turn around and tell them to stop filming, to go away but I don’t. I just focus on getting to Alan.
“Alan,” I speak as I walk into the parlor. The boy is in the process of getting his shin wrapped up. He looks up at me like a deer in the headlights and I head straight back to him.
“Austin, please just listen to me!” He pleads, his hands on my chest.
I glare down at him and shake my head, “I don’t care.”
“I was trying to… I didn’t want you to get hurt by… I’m sorry!” Alan blurts out in one breath.
“Alan, I don’t care,” I say again, my face softening. “I…” I sigh, not entirely sure how to get out what I want to say. Suddenly I’m filled with anxiety again. I want to kick Alan but I don’t.
“Do you really love me?” I ask him, trying not to let it show on my face how terrified I feel.
I watch twelve different emotions flash across the ginger’s face. It eventually settles on a slight pinkish blush and he sheepishly mutters out a yes.
My eyes bulge a little in surprise but after a minute my lips purse.
“You little fucking shit,” I tell him and smack him upside the head. I can’t believe him.
“You couldn’t have just asked me on a date like a normal fucking human being.”
I see the fear and embarrassment in Alan’s face quickly turn to fluttered confusion.
I crack a smile and lean down and kiss him. I can feel the heat of how red he turns and we both pull away with nervous laughter.
“I love you too, but I hate you so much.” After a brief pause I look at him and ask why.
Alan who now has a stunned but sly smirk on his face looks at me.
“I hated seeing you getting hurt by all these girls and… I don’t know… I thought it might be funny but then it got serious.”
“You’re going to get a serious ass kicking later,” I say, only half joking.
Alan pouts before standing on his toes to kiss me. He pulls away wincing, reaching for his shin. I forgot all about his new ink.
“What’d you get tattooed?” I ask, squatting down to get down on his leg’s level.
Slowly, Alan peels back the tape and plastic wrapping to reveal a…
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I look up at him with a snort of a laugh. It’s a catfish.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three months later Alan and I are home from the tour. We might as well call ourselves living together since he’s at my house almost always. Tonight we are curled on my couch with the dogs waiting for a very special episode of Catfish to air. The pups immediately perk up with confusion because they can see us on the television.
“Quit hogging the popcorn,” Alan whines, digging his hand into the bowl.
“It’s payback because you always hog the blankets at night,” I tease but he shushes me because the good part of the episode is coming.
“I thought you were literally going to kill me,” Alan whispered as they showed me standing in front of him at the tattoo parlor.
“You get this fucking look in your eyes sometimes. Usually it’s when we’re onstage and I know it’s fine but man… It’s fucking scary.” This time, I shush him.
The episode ends and before the credits roll there’s a brief message across the screen:
Austin and Alan happily started dating after this episode was shot and are still together today. Alan also is the first person to ever get a catfish tattoo in honor of the show…
“So, I e-mailed those Catfish guys; Max and Nev,” I tell Alan as I plop down beside him on the bus. The guitarist has a mouthful of beer that he quickly swallows and almost chokes on.
“Dude, don’t get your hopes up that they’re going to reply to you… I’m sure they have a billion reque--”
Before he can say anything else, I am shoving their reply in Alan’s face. He grabs my iPhone away from me and stares at it for a minute.
“Austin, I should just tell yo--”
“They’re coming tomorrow!” I announce, taking my phone back with a grin. I am both nervous and excited. I have high hopes that Alyssa exists because I love her. She understands me in a way that not even my best friends do. She’s not like other girls I’ve known. She’s the one.
“Great,” Alan mumbles before resuming his game of Star Wars Angry Birds.
Tomorrow rolls around and I am vibrating with nervous energy. There are camera crews everywhere -- something I’m not completely stranger to. It does seem strange not to see Adam smiling from behind the lens though. I sit with Max and Nev and we hover over their laptop. Where the rest of the band has gone off to, I’m not sure. I haven’t seen Alan since last night. I haven’t heard from Alyssa all day.
“So, tell us about you and Alyssa…”
Max has pulled up her Facebook page that was created three and a half months ago. Just before we started talking. According to the two of them, this isn’t a good sign.
“I don’t know,” I shrug. “She just told me she doesn’t really like using Facebook…” I list off all her other excuses too. They run her photos through Google and find that she is really a model named Lara Jade. By the end of the day I’ve lost hope. I feel lied to and broken hearted. Max and Nev pack up and say they’re going to try and track the number tonight at their hotel. Awhile after the crew leaves, the band finds their way back onto the bus.
“Where’s Alan?” I ask almost immediately. The whole band shrugs.
“Last time we saw him he was leaving the bar to go smoke some pot,” Phil mentions.
I sigh and crawl into my bunk. Still no texts from Alyssa or Alan. I curl up with one of the plush toys a fan has given me and hold back tears until I fall asleep.
Everyone is up early again. I wake up to a text from Alyssa. A simple ‘I love you, teddy!” Despite this, I don’t have hope that she’s real. I wander around for awhile while the band talks to Max and Nev. There is still no sign of Alan and I’m getting worried.
“So, we found some stuff last night,” Nev says as we sit down again; pouring over the MacBook.
“The phone number is from Costa Mesa, California and you said she’s from Arizona.”
“Alan’s from Costa Mesa,” I blurt almost instantly; my throat tightens and I suddenly want all these cameras away from my face.
“Right,” Nev says as he continues scrolling. “We were also able to see on Alyssa’s facebook where and when her photos and status updates were being posted from… And they coincide with where you’ve been on tour.”
They push the laptop towards me and I see updated near: Los Angeles, LAX Airport, San Antonio, O’Hare Airport… and so on.
“So, she’s stalking me?” I joke, even though I know… I know.
“We were talking to the guys earlier too and they told us that Alyssa is--”
“It’s Alan, isn’t it?” I say before Max can even finish his sentence. It all makes sense now. But how? How and why? I don’t know whether or not to be angry. I see Max and Nev nod and I’m off the bus in a flash; calling Alan.
“Austin, look before you get mad--” Alan picks up in a hurry. His words come out at a mile a minute.
“Where are you?” I ask stoically, staring out at the parking lot ahead of me. Of course, Alan gives me the name of some tattoo parlor and I immediately head that way; cameras following. I want to turn around and tell them to stop filming, to go away but I don’t. I just focus on getting to Alan.
“Alan,” I speak as I walk into the parlor. The boy is in the process of getting his shin wrapped up. He looks up at me like a deer in the headlights and I head straight back to him.
“Austin, please just listen to me!” He pleads, his hands on my chest.
I glare down at him and shake my head, “I don’t care.”
“I was trying to… I didn’t want you to get hurt by… I’m sorry!” Alan blurts out in one breath.
“Alan, I don’t care,” I say again, my face softening. “I…” I sigh, not entirely sure how to get out what I want to say. Suddenly I’m filled with anxiety again. I want to kick Alan but I don’t.
“Do you really love me?” I ask him, trying not to let it show on my face how terrified I feel.
I watch twelve different emotions flash across the ginger’s face. It eventually settles on a slight pinkish blush and he sheepishly mutters out a yes.
My eyes bulge a little in surprise but after a minute my lips purse.
“You little fucking shit,” I tell him and smack him upside the head. I can’t believe him.
“You couldn’t have just asked me on a date like a normal fucking human being.”
I see the fear and embarrassment in Alan’s face quickly turn to fluttered confusion.
I crack a smile and lean down and kiss him. I can feel the heat of how red he turns and we both pull away with nervous laughter.
“I love you too, but I hate you so much.” After a brief pause I look at him and ask why.
Alan who now has a stunned but sly smirk on his face looks at me.
“I hated seeing you getting hurt by all these girls and… I don’t know… I thought it might be funny but then it got serious.”
“You’re going to get a serious ass kicking later,” I say, only half joking.
Alan pouts before standing on his toes to kiss me. He pulls away wincing, reaching for his shin. I forgot all about his new ink.
“What’d you get tattooed?” I ask, squatting down to get down on his leg’s level.
Slowly, Alan peels back the tape and plastic wrapping to reveal a…
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I look up at him with a snort of a laugh. It’s a catfish.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three months later Alan and I are home from the tour. We might as well call ourselves living together since he’s at my house almost always. Tonight we are curled on my couch with the dogs waiting for a very special episode of Catfish to air. The pups immediately perk up with confusion because they can see us on the television.
“Quit hogging the popcorn,” Alan whines, digging his hand into the bowl.
“It’s payback because you always hog the blankets at night,” I tease but he shushes me because the good part of the episode is coming.
“I thought you were literally going to kill me,” Alan whispered as they showed me standing in front of him at the tattoo parlor.
“You get this fucking look in your eyes sometimes. Usually it’s when we’re onstage and I know it’s fine but man… It’s fucking scary.” This time, I shush him.
The episode ends and before the credits roll there’s a brief message across the screen:
Austin and Alan happily started dating after this episode was shot and are still together today. Alan also is the first person to ever get a catfish tattoo in honor of the show…
Yay! :)
and no problem sweetie !
11/3/13