"Quit moving." Austin mumbled from beside me the next morning. I never became more wide awake than in that moment.
"Jesus! Why are you- what in the hell-" I stuttered, shoving his arm off of me.
"Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to sleep. No, I didn't have sex with you. Dumbass. I wouldn't stoop that low." He replied without opening his eyes. "Now go the fuck to sleep."
I blinked, moving across the room. "Fuck off."
"Shut the fuck up!" He groaned.
I didn't bother to reply. Instead, Alan came down the stairs, rubbing his head. "Aw, did you two finally do it?" He asked.
"As if!" I said loudly.
Austin opened one eye and glared at me. "Jesus. No wonder you're single."
"I'm single by choice, I'll have you know." I said, sticking my chin out.
"You haven't gotten laid in at least a year." He replied, more awake now.
"A month, dipshit." I said coolly.
"No fucking way. Who?" He asked.
"None of your god damn business." I rolled my eyes. "Nosy prick."
"Was it Vic? I bet it was Vic. You two always flirt." Austin mused.
"Nope." I smiled wryly.
"God damn it. Now I'm curious. Who?" He repeated.
"Once again, it's none of your god damn business." I said.
"I bet you're making it up." Austin crossed his arms, knowing he had me. "I bet it's been two years."
"Fuck you. It was Jack." I admitted.
"Jack? Jack Barakat? Damn. You must be a freak after all." Austin raised his eyebrows. "How in the hell did that happen?"
"We were kind of drunk." I shrugged.
"Look at you, actually getting some action." He laughed. "I'm looking at you in a whole new light, Ave."
"Don't call me that." I rolled my eyes. "It's Avery."
"Sure, Avery. Whatever you say." He waved me off. "It was kinky shit then, you and Jack?"
"How many times do I have to repeat that it's none of your god damn business?" I asked, exasperated.
"You know I'm going to keep asking so you might as well tell me." He replied.
"Yeah, it was good." I sighed.
"Are you loud?" He asked curiously. "You're a screamer, aren't you? I get that vibe from you."
"Why don't you just ask him?" I replied, over our conversation.
"Ask who what?" Alan asked, sitting beside Austin.
"Avery had sex with Jack Barakat!" Austin said.
"Oh yeah, he told me about that." Alan replied, taking a drink of coffee. "He spoke about you very highly, by the way."
"Glad to know." I said dryly.
"What did he say?" Austin asked.
Alan grinned. "Enough to keep me satisfied at night for at least two months."
"I want the details." Austin continued.
"Why are you so obsessed with my sex life?" I asked.
"I used to think of you as asexual, so now that I hear you actually got laid, I'm blown away." Austin replied, then turned back to Alan.
"Avery here is pretty good with her mouth, I heard." Alan said. "She's a tease though. But she's loud as hell if you're into that. Which I am." He added.
"I knew it!" Austin said.
"Was he really telling everyone?" I raised my eyebrows.
"Yeah. It's a guy thing. Don't worry, we were all impressed." Alan assured me.
"That's weird. Do you guys just, like, get together and talk about who you've been fucking lately?" I asked.
"Only on special occasions." Austin winked.
"Weirdos." I shook my head, then looked at Alan. "Where's your sister? She drove me here."
"She left last night." Alan said. "I think it's just you two scragglers left."
"Drive me home." I commanded to Austin.
"Just don't try and fuck me on the way there." He replied. I waved to Alan and followed Asshole Carlile out the door.