This Is Not What It Is.
III
Phoenix, Arizona. Hot as hell. Dry as hell. And it's March. I've been texting Alan a lot more than I'd care to admit. We were at the venue and we did sound check. Everyone was at catering, eating away, however I'm just sitting in dressing room. I wasn't really hungry, so. I am just scrolling through my pictures. The door opens quietly. I look over at it. Austin was peeking his head in, holding a plate with some grapes on it.
"Hey," he said staying the door way.
"Hey. Come in," I say.
He comes in and sits down next to me, "I brought you grapes cause I remember from that interview we did that you said you like grapes. They are green, just like you like."
"I do like green grapes. Thank you Austin." I say taking a grape off the vine, popping it in my mouth.
"How come you didn't come to catering?" He asks.
"Oh, I just wasn't hungry," I reply after I swallow the first grape, taking the plate from him.
"Oh, alright," He says quietly.
"Thank you for the grapes though," I smile at him before putting another grape in my mouth.
"You're welcome," he says, his eyes wondering around the room.
We just kinda sat there. I ate all the grapes before leaning my head on his shoulder. He smiles at this action. He slide his hand into mine. I blushed and laces our finger together. The door opens and Simon walks in, smirking as he looks at us. I shot him 'I will kill you' look.
"Hey, Phoe, the guys are on the way, we have to get ready." Simon informs.
I sigh and stand up, walking to the mirror. I put my hair up in a high ponytail. I pined back everything that fell forward. I hated and loved my hair at times. I sat back down next to Austin while everyone was getting ready. I reached for my in ear mics. I plugged them in, I rested them on my shoulder. I looked at Austin, who was looking at me.
"I like you," I whispered to him.
"I like you too," He responds.
"Tomorrow when we have a day off, we should hang out."
"Yeah, that sounds nice."
"Alright guys, stage time," our tour manager, Beauagard, informed.
I kissed Austin's cheek and stood up. I put in my ear things. We started to walk to stage. Austin had tagged along and walked with us to the stage. He stayed on the side stage. We started playing. Just having the time of life tonight. I felt like I was on top of the world. I love this way of life. We took a break half way through set. Elijah thought to be funny.
"We are in Phoenix, Phoenix." Elijah kids.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" I used my sarcastic laugh, "Jokes about my name. I hate you."
"I love you too, Phoe."
"I do love all you guys. You four are my best friends."
"SO! YOU AND AUSTIN!" York speaks up.
"We are just friends!" I respond quickly.
"Mhm...." York winks at me.
"This is our next song..." I start.
We played the rest of our set. I was having an amazing time. I thanked the crowd for coming out and enjoy the rest of the bands. We walked off stage. I hugged Austin and he hugged me right back. I kiss his temple lightly. We laughed childishly as we walked back to the dressing room. I grabbed my phone and I had a message from Alan, that must need a reply.
Alan: [i]YOU LIKE AUSTIN!!!![/i]
Me: [i]YES, I DO! SO, SHUT UP![/i]
I put my phone in my pocket and walk to Austin. He held out his hand for me to take. I took his hand and we walked out of the dressing room. We walk outside and we see Alan standing a few meters away, smoking with phone out. We walked in the opposite direction. We sat down on the ground. It was nice to have a little time alone. My phone text message went off. I took my phone out to see Alan has texted me again.
Alan: [i]I saw you guys, safety first. Love you :*[/i]
I blushed lightly and pressed reply. I knew Austin was looking at my phone.
Me: [i]Alan, we saw you that is we walked the other way. Love you too, ginger princess[/i]
Austin let out a laugh. His face turning into a pout when I look at him.
"How come I don't have your number?" He ask, sounding a little jealous.
"Awh, I can give you my number," I reply, handing him my phone.
He smiles and types in his number. He sent a text message to himself. He also took a selfie and made it his picture. I giggle quietly, kissing his cheek. He took another picture. We took a few pictures together. He's seriously so cute. I put my phone away as Alan yells from the other side.
"DUDE WE HAVE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE WE GO ON!"
Austin mumbles 'Oh Shit.' We both get up and rush him into the dressing room. I went down to my bands dressing room.
"You and Austin disappeared..." Spencer says.
"Yeah...we did," I reply.
These boys are like my older brothers. They did promise my dad they'd protected me.
"Whatcha guys do?" Elijah nags.
"We took pictures and sat outside," I look at him.
"Something is definitely there between you two, like a vibe gets sent out when you two are in the same room," Simon says, using a bit of a hippie voice.
"Yeah, a vibe man," York says, mocking Simon a bit.
"Shut up you four," I say looking at the ground.
A bit of silence before Spencer's phone goes off, playing Beyonce. He quickly answers it and we all stifle our laughs. He walked out of the room, giving us the completely flightless bird as he goes. We burst out laughing. Simon's phone goes off, playing Marilyn Manson's version of 'This is Halloween'. He leaves the room before answering it. York, Elijah, and I were just sitting there.
"FUCK, I'M MISSING THEIR SET!" I squeak and get up. I rush out the door and to back stage. I creep up side stage a bit. Austin smiles a bit when he sees me. Aaron is singing some part of 'O.G. Loko' Austin skips over and drags me on stage. I blush slightly and wave to everyone. A screaming part came up. He started and looked in my eyes as he started screaming. This was like making my heart melt, andmyovariesexplode. They finish up the song. I hug Austin, then Phil, then Aaron, then Alan. I carefully climbing over the drums to hug Tino. His hugs were my favorite and you could just go 'TINO HUG!' and he'll hug you. I walked off stage, standing side stage, and listen to the rest of the set. They were so good, as always. I knew every word. I was singing along quietly to myself. The band walked off stage and I grabbed Austin's hand as he walked by. I pulled him to me.
"Hi Gorgeous," he greets me with a smile.
"You guys killed it, as always," I say while my cheek heat up.
"Thank you," He notices my blush and his smile grows bigger.
"Don't say it," I mumble.
He just smiles at me. I smile back at him. We get lost in each other eyes for a while before speaking up.
"I have to ...." We both start. Austin silencing so I can talk first.
"Get back to the buses," I finish.
"Yeah, me too," Austin comments.
We walked to our dressing room. I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before continuing down to his dressing room. I saw all the guys looking at me when I walked in.
"No, shut up, nothing happened, we should get on the bus now," I said bluntly.
They all just nodded and got their shit. We walked back to the buses. Fans were walking out of the venue. I waved to the few that saw me. I smiled at them, hoping they saw me.
I got on the bus and kinda slump down on the couch in the front lounge area. I got up to go to the bathroom, getting out my make up remover, removing my plastic stage face, and washed my face. I let my hair, unpinning everything. I took out my phone and sent a quick text to Austin.
Me: [i]Hey Austin. Lanky tall man cuddles[/i]
Austin: [i]Awh, cutie. I'd cuddle you.[/i]
Me: [i]I feel fucking terrible today. I need like tea and salt water.[/i]
I got up and laid in my bunk. I took off my shoes, pants, and bra, I looked at my phone as Austin's text message popped up.
Austin: [i]Salt water and tea sounds amazing.[/i]
Me: [i]Tomorrow we should go out and get some tea.[/i]
Austin: [i]That sounds perfect.[/i]
Me: [i]I'll see you tomorrow. I'm going to nap I'm awfully tired. Good Tonight Aussie.[/i]
Austin: [i]Alright, good night Phoe. Talk to you tomorrow.[/i]
I slipped my phone on to the charger and slide it under my pillow. I closed my eyes, falling asleep slowly to the silence of the bus, the sound of cars going by, the occasional rattle from a bad road.
_______________
Waking up with someone nudging me. I groaned quietly, turning around.
"Phoenix....it's 10am." York says.
"Are we here?" I ask.
"Yes, yes we are."
"I'm still so tired."
"I know you are."
"I don't feel good...."
"I'll make you some toast and tea."
"I hate getting sick on tour."
"Especially in the beginning."
"Yeah..."
He kissed my head and went to make me toast. I'd lied I felt fine. I was just nervous of going on a little date with Austin. York came back with my toast a few minutes later. He put butter on both slices on them, just like I like. I sat up and ate my toast.
"Hey," he said staying the door way.
"Hey. Come in," I say.
He comes in and sits down next to me, "I brought you grapes cause I remember from that interview we did that you said you like grapes. They are green, just like you like."
"I do like green grapes. Thank you Austin." I say taking a grape off the vine, popping it in my mouth.
"How come you didn't come to catering?" He asks.
"Oh, I just wasn't hungry," I reply after I swallow the first grape, taking the plate from him.
"Oh, alright," He says quietly.
"Thank you for the grapes though," I smile at him before putting another grape in my mouth.
"You're welcome," he says, his eyes wondering around the room.
We just kinda sat there. I ate all the grapes before leaning my head on his shoulder. He smiles at this action. He slide his hand into mine. I blushed and laces our finger together. The door opens and Simon walks in, smirking as he looks at us. I shot him 'I will kill you' look.
"Hey, Phoe, the guys are on the way, we have to get ready." Simon informs.
I sigh and stand up, walking to the mirror. I put my hair up in a high ponytail. I pined back everything that fell forward. I hated and loved my hair at times. I sat back down next to Austin while everyone was getting ready. I reached for my in ear mics. I plugged them in, I rested them on my shoulder. I looked at Austin, who was looking at me.
"I like you," I whispered to him.
"I like you too," He responds.
"Tomorrow when we have a day off, we should hang out."
"Yeah, that sounds nice."
"Alright guys, stage time," our tour manager, Beauagard, informed.
I kissed Austin's cheek and stood up. I put in my ear things. We started to walk to stage. Austin had tagged along and walked with us to the stage. He stayed on the side stage. We started playing. Just having the time of life tonight. I felt like I was on top of the world. I love this way of life. We took a break half way through set. Elijah thought to be funny.
"We are in Phoenix, Phoenix." Elijah kids.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" I used my sarcastic laugh, "Jokes about my name. I hate you."
"I love you too, Phoe."
"I do love all you guys. You four are my best friends."
"SO! YOU AND AUSTIN!" York speaks up.
"We are just friends!" I respond quickly.
"Mhm...." York winks at me.
"This is our next song..." I start.
We played the rest of our set. I was having an amazing time. I thanked the crowd for coming out and enjoy the rest of the bands. We walked off stage. I hugged Austin and he hugged me right back. I kiss his temple lightly. We laughed childishly as we walked back to the dressing room. I grabbed my phone and I had a message from Alan, that must need a reply.
Alan: [i]YOU LIKE AUSTIN!!!![/i]
Me: [i]YES, I DO! SO, SHUT UP![/i]
I put my phone in my pocket and walk to Austin. He held out his hand for me to take. I took his hand and we walked out of the dressing room. We walk outside and we see Alan standing a few meters away, smoking with phone out. We walked in the opposite direction. We sat down on the ground. It was nice to have a little time alone. My phone text message went off. I took my phone out to see Alan has texted me again.
Alan: [i]I saw you guys, safety first. Love you :*[/i]
I blushed lightly and pressed reply. I knew Austin was looking at my phone.
Me: [i]Alan, we saw you that is we walked the other way. Love you too, ginger princess[/i]
Austin let out a laugh. His face turning into a pout when I look at him.
"How come I don't have your number?" He ask, sounding a little jealous.
"Awh, I can give you my number," I reply, handing him my phone.
He smiles and types in his number. He sent a text message to himself. He also took a selfie and made it his picture. I giggle quietly, kissing his cheek. He took another picture. We took a few pictures together. He's seriously so cute. I put my phone away as Alan yells from the other side.
"DUDE WE HAVE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE WE GO ON!"
Austin mumbles 'Oh Shit.' We both get up and rush him into the dressing room. I went down to my bands dressing room.
"You and Austin disappeared..." Spencer says.
"Yeah...we did," I reply.
These boys are like my older brothers. They did promise my dad they'd protected me.
"Whatcha guys do?" Elijah nags.
"We took pictures and sat outside," I look at him.
"Something is definitely there between you two, like a vibe gets sent out when you two are in the same room," Simon says, using a bit of a hippie voice.
"Yeah, a vibe man," York says, mocking Simon a bit.
"Shut up you four," I say looking at the ground.
A bit of silence before Spencer's phone goes off, playing Beyonce. He quickly answers it and we all stifle our laughs. He walked out of the room, giving us the completely flightless bird as he goes. We burst out laughing. Simon's phone goes off, playing Marilyn Manson's version of 'This is Halloween'. He leaves the room before answering it. York, Elijah, and I were just sitting there.
"FUCK, I'M MISSING THEIR SET!" I squeak and get up. I rush out the door and to back stage. I creep up side stage a bit. Austin smiles a bit when he sees me. Aaron is singing some part of 'O.G. Loko' Austin skips over and drags me on stage. I blush slightly and wave to everyone. A screaming part came up. He started and looked in my eyes as he started screaming. This was like making my heart melt, andmyovariesexplode. They finish up the song. I hug Austin, then Phil, then Aaron, then Alan. I carefully climbing over the drums to hug Tino. His hugs were my favorite and you could just go 'TINO HUG!' and he'll hug you. I walked off stage, standing side stage, and listen to the rest of the set. They were so good, as always. I knew every word. I was singing along quietly to myself. The band walked off stage and I grabbed Austin's hand as he walked by. I pulled him to me.
"Hi Gorgeous," he greets me with a smile.
"You guys killed it, as always," I say while my cheek heat up.
"Thank you," He notices my blush and his smile grows bigger.
"Don't say it," I mumble.
He just smiles at me. I smile back at him. We get lost in each other eyes for a while before speaking up.
"I have to ...." We both start. Austin silencing so I can talk first.
"Get back to the buses," I finish.
"Yeah, me too," Austin comments.
We walked to our dressing room. I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before continuing down to his dressing room. I saw all the guys looking at me when I walked in.
"No, shut up, nothing happened, we should get on the bus now," I said bluntly.
They all just nodded and got their shit. We walked back to the buses. Fans were walking out of the venue. I waved to the few that saw me. I smiled at them, hoping they saw me.
I got on the bus and kinda slump down on the couch in the front lounge area. I got up to go to the bathroom, getting out my make up remover, removing my plastic stage face, and washed my face. I let my hair, unpinning everything. I took out my phone and sent a quick text to Austin.
Me: [i]Hey Austin. Lanky tall man cuddles[/i]
Austin: [i]Awh, cutie. I'd cuddle you.[/i]
Me: [i]I feel fucking terrible today. I need like tea and salt water.[/i]
I got up and laid in my bunk. I took off my shoes, pants, and bra, I looked at my phone as Austin's text message popped up.
Austin: [i]Salt water and tea sounds amazing.[/i]
Me: [i]Tomorrow we should go out and get some tea.[/i]
Austin: [i]That sounds perfect.[/i]
Me: [i]I'll see you tomorrow. I'm going to nap I'm awfully tired. Good Tonight Aussie.[/i]
Austin: [i]Alright, good night Phoe. Talk to you tomorrow.[/i]
I slipped my phone on to the charger and slide it under my pillow. I closed my eyes, falling asleep slowly to the silence of the bus, the sound of cars going by, the occasional rattle from a bad road.
_______________
Waking up with someone nudging me. I groaned quietly, turning around.
"Phoenix....it's 10am." York says.
"Are we here?" I ask.
"Yes, yes we are."
"I'm still so tired."
"I know you are."
"I don't feel good...."
"I'll make you some toast and tea."
"I hate getting sick on tour."
"Especially in the beginning."
"Yeah..."
He kissed my head and went to make me toast. I'd lied I felt fine. I was just nervous of going on a little date with Austin. York came back with my toast a few minutes later. He put butter on both slices on them, just like I like. I sat up and ate my toast.
10/24/13