I stayed in Austin’s bed for almost a week. He slept next to me every night and when I woke up because of nightmares he pulled me into his embrace. That calmed me down. His personal smell, his arms around me and his voice whispering. It was just perfect. But when I’ve been in his bed for almost a week without really doing anything Austin decided to take things into his hands. One morning he was there and he dragged me up on my feet, grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eye.
"You got to go out and live" he said and he sounded harsh, angry and worried. But I knew he said it because he cared.
"Do you really think that Dave would want you to stay like this? Don’t you think he would want you to go out and live your life?" Austin said and I swallowed. It hurt a little to hear him talk about Dave, just because I knew that Austin didn’t really like him. Why would he?
"I don’t know what to do" I whispered and Austin relaxed a little.
"What do you say about you and me… Going out to just see LA, eat something and walk together?" he asked. I looked at him and then I nodded. That would be a way to start.

My hair was in a messy bun, I had one of Austin’s Slipknot tees on and a pair of red shorts. Austin had his skinny jeans and a Slipknot tees as well. He held my hand and when he felt that I got nervous or sad he squeezed it a little. It felt good to walk around in LA again. Seeing places I hadn’t seen in a long time. i even got a smile on my face a few times.

- - -

Two weeks after I had come to Austin I was actually back to normal. Still sad from time to time but I had realized that I couldn’t stay around and cry all the time. Dave wouldn’t want that and I knew Austin didn’t want it. So I slowly got back to normal life. Mostly staying at Austin’s place. Cleaning, washing clothes and cooking food for him. I met the guys again and it felt good to talk.
"How come you’re not on tour?" I asked when Tino and Alan came over.
"We’re working on the new album, so we got some time off for a while now" Alan said and smiled at me. I nodded and handed them something to drink.
"What are you going to do about your apartment here in LA?" Tino asked and looked at me. I froze for a second. i had payed the rent while in London but somehow I had completely forgotten about it.
"You forgot about that one, didn’t you?" Alan asked. I nodded.
"Why don’t we go there, you got to have tons of mail waiting for you" Tino said and I nodded.

We walked over to my old apartment and just as they thought I had a lot of letters waiting for me. But nothing that I really needed to read, so we just threw them all away. Then we walked up to my place and I opened up the door. Everything was dusty but it was just like I had left it.
"Dusty" Alan said and pulled a finger over my table.
"I should maybe clean it" I whispered and looked around. Alan and Tino laughed, and nodded.
"Maybe that’s for the best" Tino said.
"Well we have to go, if there’s anything you need, you know where to find us or just give us a call" Alan said and hugged me. I smiled and I got a hug from Tino as well.
"if there’s anything, give us a call" Tino said again and they left. I turned around and looked at my apartment. It was dusty as hell.

I was in the middle of cleaning when my phone went off. I looked at the screen and Austin’s name and picture showed.
"Hello" I answered and smiled. Cleaning things always made me feel better.
"Thank god, i got worried when you were gone" he sighed in relief.
"I’m at my old place… cleaning" I said and nodded.
"oh… You’re okay?" he asked and sounded a bit surprised.
"I’m fine, it actually feels good to be back here" I said and opened up the fridge. I let out a scream and closed it. Austin got worried.
"What’s going on?!" he asked.
"I just opened up my fridge and… I think my food is turning into living monsters" I said and slowly opened it up again. It smelled terrible. Austin laughed and I could hear him shake his head.
"Do you need some help?" he asked.