Oh, Catastrophe...
Past.
She let out a breath that she seemed to be holding now for years. Her eyes grow wide with every feature of the man that was standing before her had. He hasn’t change in all this time; 2 years have past and he still looked the same, sure he had shorter hair and more tattoos than before. But he was the same as 2 years ago and she was still trying to figure out if that was a good or a bad thing.
He started to walk towards her, but she stood still, just like time did, in those short minutes that felt like years to her, she could see every detail of how this conversation would turn out, and she didn’t liked how it would end. She wasn’t prepared for that, in fact she didn’t wanted to be prepared for that.
Not now.
Not ever.
He saw her expression and wanted to pretend he got the wrong person, he wanted to make it easier for her and pretend he wasn’t budging into her life again but his legs wouldn’t follow his mind commands and of course they wouldn’t; they were busy following his stupid heart ones.
His black rusty converses were moving the dirt underneath his feet and once he was just less than 10 inches from her, he stood there taking in her appearance, the way her messy bun looked so carefully made, the way his ripped shorts made her legs look longer and smoother and the way her red Anthem tank top let to sight what it looked like the job of a experienced tattoo artist and he couldn’t help but smile at the memory that ran through his mind of when he took her to his first tattoo appointment and how he ended having the word ‘promise’ tattooed not only on his pinky but in hers too.
She was thinking what to say, she wanted to act strong, but at the same time she wanted to cry at him, she wanted to hug him and yet she wanted to punch him but none of them were right and she knew none of them would actually make her feel better.
So she settled with just asking how he was.
“How are—”
“You look—”
They giggled at the fact they spoke at the same time, at the fact that even with time their minds wouldn’t get an agreement of when to let each other talk. She was starting to blush when Austin sent her a small smile, one of those famous Austin Carlile smile’s that would make any girl legs melt in that spot, but she caught herself quickly and he scratched the back of his head, he couldn’t believe how hard was this, when he used to talk so easily with her but that was before.
And this was now.
“You go first,” he said making her look at him from the spot she was currently looking on the floor. She looked into his brown eyes and saw that look, which she had known for so many years now, that ‘I wanna tell you something, but I don’t know how’ look.
“How are you?” she asked, a simple question yet so full of mystery. She really wanted to know how was he, how was he feeling, how his life was doing … without her.
“I’m—” he sighed trying to find his voice “I’m good,” he spoke his voice cracking a little bit, he blamed the lack of water his throat had received, but it wasn’t that. It was her and only her.
“That’s…” she sighed “that’s good.” He of course wasted no time and quickly asked back the same question.
“I’m good, too.” She laughed and took a strand of her dark hair behind her ear, she looked down for a minute and then looked back at him, he was watching her intensively, almost as he was trying to read her.
“I’m really happy to hear that.” He said honestly and smiled down at her, wrinkles formed on the corner of his eyes, something she had loved from him since she first saw him but if he could really know the truth behind that lie, he would probably had hugged her, promised her the moon and the stars.
Yeah, right.
“Y-yeah.” She stuttered and cringed at how stupid she must how sounded, but he couldn’t see that, he only find it adorable, as he always had.
Silence took over them and Belle didn’t knew what to say, or what she would have to say, she was fighting with words on her head, Austin was too but he couldn’t stop himself, he just blurted the words out not thinking of the aftermath,
Word vomit. That is what this was.
“Belle I am really fucking sorry, I’m a douche and I wish I could take it back, I mean I would take it back and…” he started to speak out of the blue, catching her off guard but she knew exactly why he was apologizing, she knew it and yet she wanted to ignore it.
You know they say one picture can change the way you see your whole world, that one picture can affect the way you will handle yourself from then on..? Belle figured that saying was true in a way she preferred to ignore, but she couldn’t because for weeks all her nightmares were about that.
That image of her best friend, the guy she loved with all her heart, the man who led her on thinking he felt the same as her, the man who she considered was gonna help the pain she felt go away… Austin Carlile; was on his bed, laying down, eyes closed feeling the ecstasy filling him up just as the girl he claimed he had nothing going on; Ashley, rode him out of his orgasm, how they both were sweaty hot and naked from their obvious personal activities.
She remembered everything in slow motion, she knew deep down she shouldn’t have been upset, but yet she was. He shouldn’t have chased her down the stairs while putting some pants, pleading for a ‘let me explain’ excuse and yet he was.
She just wanted him to shut up, she wanted him to stop pleading to her, he didn’t owe it to her, but hell! She deserved one, she was his best friend, for crying out loud. She was going to have a panic attack unless she didn’t found a way to shut him up and looking down to her hand she found one.
Belle was a pretty calm person, she hated fights and violence, she had never fought to anyone before, at least not in a situation that has gone to the fists. Belle never thought she could actually hit somebody yet she had just done it and to none other than her best friend. Or ex--best friend.
He took his cheek with his hand, shocked and speechless as to what had just happened. She looked at him, tears couldn’t stop coming out of her eyes, her body trembling like a feather in winter. And in that moment her act of the strong woman he had known so far was shattered in a million pieces leaving a confused Belle, the portrait of a scared little girl you wish you could take her pain away with hugs, leaving her with nothing but a heart broken.
She was heartbroken.
And he realized that only when she looked at him, her eyes colliding with his own brown ones, only then, he realized he had made her cry and not in a good way, he felt like the worse scumbag in earth and maybe he was. Not on purpose, but he was.
He was fucking lost after that slap and she couldn’t stay to expect a reaction from him, she needed to get away from there as soon as possible and that was exactly what she was gonna do.
He saw how she ran to her car and wasted no time to drive away from his house, and as she tried to concentrate on the road. He was trying to process the fact he had sent to hell the best thing he ever had.
Even if he didn’t knew it.
While she fought the tears and images of him with Ashley, the image of satisfaction on their faces while both were getting off. He was fighting with the blonde woman after discovering she had sent Belle a text from his cellphone, inviting her to casually drop by.
And while she drove through the street at high speed, he screamed at Ashley for pulling a shit like that and involving her best friend on this. While she tried to look for a napkin, he had gotten rid of Ashley shouting some pretty rough words and wasting no time to call his best friend in hopes she could hear him out, maybe, just maybe it wasn’t too late.
Her phone started ringing and taking her eyes from the road, she took the device from the top of her purse and saw his name on the screen, the silly photo from him the day he took her to Disneyland, she sniffled while a smile started to form on her lips, she was confused and didn't knew what to do and when she did, the lights from the truck made her realize it was too late.
She tore her mind from that memory and rubbed her right arm while he continued on his rant but she shook her head and told him “Forget it, Austin, it doesn’t matter now.” She liked straight to his face, but Belle knew this discussion would only set a fight she didn’t wanted to have now.
She didn’t wanted to cry in front of him.
Not again.
Austin nodded his head but he knew better and he knew she only said it so he could drop the subject and due to the fact this was their first reunion in years, he will not pressure her because he didn’t wanted to lose her when he had just gotten her back.
But he would find a way to go there later, because he wanted her to unload everything she needed to say to him, he needed for her to scream, and shout and call him names and punch him, only so he could fight his way down to her heart, because deep down he wanted to say those three words he spoke to only her and truly meant it, again.
“What are you doing in Texas?” he asked and looked at her, waiting for her answer which she was going to say but his friend took it from her.
“Hey, babe.” Shayley Bourget, the ex-bassist from Of Mice and Men, spoke as he approached them both. “Hey, Austin.”
“I’m keeping some company to Shay,” she said and he couldn’t quite believe the words she said, Shay his former bassist, his ex-best friend, his mate was… was he dating the girl he—
“Gaby, babe, we’re going to the Samsung Galaxy thing are you coming?” Shay asked and Gaby turned to look at the boy in front of her, his boyish charm had tricked her into his arms, but it wasn’t only that, because after of what happened, and her efforts to push everyone out of her life, Shay didn’t budget a bit.
He remained visiting her and talking to her even when she didn’t wanted to and he remained every day until she opened up to him. Belle remembered Austin was in front of them but she didn’t say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘This is my boyfriend’ she didn’t owe him any explications, but if she didn’t then why she felt like she did?
"Sure, baby." She said with guilt in every word, and left the place with Shay after saying goodbye to Austin.
She had an internal battle that Shay didn’t failed to notice, so he took her hand in his and giving it a light squeeze asked her if she was okay to which she replied with a complete and honest smile because whenever she was with Shay all of her past was just that…
Her past.
Austin stayed back while his mind tried to process the fact his ex-best friend and former bassist had just left the place with the girl he realized he loved too late.
He started to walk towards her, but she stood still, just like time did, in those short minutes that felt like years to her, she could see every detail of how this conversation would turn out, and she didn’t liked how it would end. She wasn’t prepared for that, in fact she didn’t wanted to be prepared for that.
Not now.
Not ever.
He saw her expression and wanted to pretend he got the wrong person, he wanted to make it easier for her and pretend he wasn’t budging into her life again but his legs wouldn’t follow his mind commands and of course they wouldn’t; they were busy following his stupid heart ones.
His black rusty converses were moving the dirt underneath his feet and once he was just less than 10 inches from her, he stood there taking in her appearance, the way her messy bun looked so carefully made, the way his ripped shorts made her legs look longer and smoother and the way her red Anthem tank top let to sight what it looked like the job of a experienced tattoo artist and he couldn’t help but smile at the memory that ran through his mind of when he took her to his first tattoo appointment and how he ended having the word ‘promise’ tattooed not only on his pinky but in hers too.
She was thinking what to say, she wanted to act strong, but at the same time she wanted to cry at him, she wanted to hug him and yet she wanted to punch him but none of them were right and she knew none of them would actually make her feel better.
So she settled with just asking how he was.
“How are—”
“You look—”
They giggled at the fact they spoke at the same time, at the fact that even with time their minds wouldn’t get an agreement of when to let each other talk. She was starting to blush when Austin sent her a small smile, one of those famous Austin Carlile smile’s that would make any girl legs melt in that spot, but she caught herself quickly and he scratched the back of his head, he couldn’t believe how hard was this, when he used to talk so easily with her but that was before.
And this was now.
“You go first,” he said making her look at him from the spot she was currently looking on the floor. She looked into his brown eyes and saw that look, which she had known for so many years now, that ‘I wanna tell you something, but I don’t know how’ look.
“How are you?” she asked, a simple question yet so full of mystery. She really wanted to know how was he, how was he feeling, how his life was doing … without her.
“I’m—” he sighed trying to find his voice “I’m good,” he spoke his voice cracking a little bit, he blamed the lack of water his throat had received, but it wasn’t that. It was her and only her.
“That’s…” she sighed “that’s good.” He of course wasted no time and quickly asked back the same question.
“I’m good, too.” She laughed and took a strand of her dark hair behind her ear, she looked down for a minute and then looked back at him, he was watching her intensively, almost as he was trying to read her.
“I’m really happy to hear that.” He said honestly and smiled down at her, wrinkles formed on the corner of his eyes, something she had loved from him since she first saw him but if he could really know the truth behind that lie, he would probably had hugged her, promised her the moon and the stars.
Yeah, right.
“Y-yeah.” She stuttered and cringed at how stupid she must how sounded, but he couldn’t see that, he only find it adorable, as he always had.
Silence took over them and Belle didn’t knew what to say, or what she would have to say, she was fighting with words on her head, Austin was too but he couldn’t stop himself, he just blurted the words out not thinking of the aftermath,
Word vomit. That is what this was.
“Belle I am really fucking sorry, I’m a douche and I wish I could take it back, I mean I would take it back and…” he started to speak out of the blue, catching her off guard but she knew exactly why he was apologizing, she knew it and yet she wanted to ignore it.
You know they say one picture can change the way you see your whole world, that one picture can affect the way you will handle yourself from then on..? Belle figured that saying was true in a way she preferred to ignore, but she couldn’t because for weeks all her nightmares were about that.
That image of her best friend, the guy she loved with all her heart, the man who led her on thinking he felt the same as her, the man who she considered was gonna help the pain she felt go away… Austin Carlile; was on his bed, laying down, eyes closed feeling the ecstasy filling him up just as the girl he claimed he had nothing going on; Ashley, rode him out of his orgasm, how they both were sweaty hot and naked from their obvious personal activities.
She remembered everything in slow motion, she knew deep down she shouldn’t have been upset, but yet she was. He shouldn’t have chased her down the stairs while putting some pants, pleading for a ‘let me explain’ excuse and yet he was.
She just wanted him to shut up, she wanted him to stop pleading to her, he didn’t owe it to her, but hell! She deserved one, she was his best friend, for crying out loud. She was going to have a panic attack unless she didn’t found a way to shut him up and looking down to her hand she found one.
Belle was a pretty calm person, she hated fights and violence, she had never fought to anyone before, at least not in a situation that has gone to the fists. Belle never thought she could actually hit somebody yet she had just done it and to none other than her best friend. Or ex--best friend.
He took his cheek with his hand, shocked and speechless as to what had just happened. She looked at him, tears couldn’t stop coming out of her eyes, her body trembling like a feather in winter. And in that moment her act of the strong woman he had known so far was shattered in a million pieces leaving a confused Belle, the portrait of a scared little girl you wish you could take her pain away with hugs, leaving her with nothing but a heart broken.
She was heartbroken.
And he realized that only when she looked at him, her eyes colliding with his own brown ones, only then, he realized he had made her cry and not in a good way, he felt like the worse scumbag in earth and maybe he was. Not on purpose, but he was.
He was fucking lost after that slap and she couldn’t stay to expect a reaction from him, she needed to get away from there as soon as possible and that was exactly what she was gonna do.
He saw how she ran to her car and wasted no time to drive away from his house, and as she tried to concentrate on the road. He was trying to process the fact he had sent to hell the best thing he ever had.
Even if he didn’t knew it.
While she fought the tears and images of him with Ashley, the image of satisfaction on their faces while both were getting off. He was fighting with the blonde woman after discovering she had sent Belle a text from his cellphone, inviting her to casually drop by.
And while she drove through the street at high speed, he screamed at Ashley for pulling a shit like that and involving her best friend on this. While she tried to look for a napkin, he had gotten rid of Ashley shouting some pretty rough words and wasting no time to call his best friend in hopes she could hear him out, maybe, just maybe it wasn’t too late.
Her phone started ringing and taking her eyes from the road, she took the device from the top of her purse and saw his name on the screen, the silly photo from him the day he took her to Disneyland, she sniffled while a smile started to form on her lips, she was confused and didn't knew what to do and when she did, the lights from the truck made her realize it was too late.
She tore her mind from that memory and rubbed her right arm while he continued on his rant but she shook her head and told him “Forget it, Austin, it doesn’t matter now.” She liked straight to his face, but Belle knew this discussion would only set a fight she didn’t wanted to have now.
She didn’t wanted to cry in front of him.
Not again.
Austin nodded his head but he knew better and he knew she only said it so he could drop the subject and due to the fact this was their first reunion in years, he will not pressure her because he didn’t wanted to lose her when he had just gotten her back.
But he would find a way to go there later, because he wanted her to unload everything she needed to say to him, he needed for her to scream, and shout and call him names and punch him, only so he could fight his way down to her heart, because deep down he wanted to say those three words he spoke to only her and truly meant it, again.
“What are you doing in Texas?” he asked and looked at her, waiting for her answer which she was going to say but his friend took it from her.
“Hey, babe.” Shayley Bourget, the ex-bassist from Of Mice and Men, spoke as he approached them both. “Hey, Austin.”
“I’m keeping some company to Shay,” she said and he couldn’t quite believe the words she said, Shay his former bassist, his ex-best friend, his mate was… was he dating the girl he—
“Gaby, babe, we’re going to the Samsung Galaxy thing are you coming?” Shay asked and Gaby turned to look at the boy in front of her, his boyish charm had tricked her into his arms, but it wasn’t only that, because after of what happened, and her efforts to push everyone out of her life, Shay didn’t budget a bit.
He remained visiting her and talking to her even when she didn’t wanted to and he remained every day until she opened up to him. Belle remembered Austin was in front of them but she didn’t say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘This is my boyfriend’ she didn’t owe him any explications, but if she didn’t then why she felt like she did?
"Sure, baby." She said with guilt in every word, and left the place with Shay after saying goodbye to Austin.
She had an internal battle that Shay didn’t failed to notice, so he took her hand in his and giving it a light squeeze asked her if she was okay to which she replied with a complete and honest smile because whenever she was with Shay all of her past was just that…
Her past.
Austin stayed back while his mind tried to process the fact his ex-best friend and former bassist had just left the place with the girl he realized he loved too late.
Notes
This story is also in Mibba by my username antivist.This is slightly edited and different from the other but it's the same story.
:D
Please leave some feedback, it's my first om&m story and I wanna know what you all think.
-dianna
11/30/13