“I just wanna run to you
and break off the chains
and throw them away
I just wanna be so much
and shake off the dust
that turn me to rust
Sooner than later, I'll need a saviour
I need a savior.”


The crowd around me applauded deeply making me smile wide.

“Thank you…” I said into the microphone before standing up and making my way off the little stage. I greeted some of the girls who had come out to my open mic night. They were my little fans that I had acquired and so far they hadn’t missed a show since the first time I tweeted about them.

“I’m so glad you covered that song.” One girl gushed.

“It’s held a lot of meaning for me the last few weeks. I don’t think it would have been right if I didn’t cover it.” I admitted hugging each of them and thanking them for spending their night with me. I pulled my phone from my back pocket and felt my face drop as I read the Twitter notification on the screen.

“@austincarlile: @Rae_Jones Please come to my house as soon as possible. I really need you right now…”

I hurriedly said my goodbyes to the girls and packed up my stuff. Worry flashed through every part of my body as I climbed in my car and sped off towards Austin’s. The guys had been home from tour barely three days but I hadn’t spoken to them in two weeks. Being in Europe made it hard for them to keep in touch and I had been so busy it hadn’t bothered me much.

I was soon pulling into Austin’s driveway, I flew out of the car leaving my purse on the seat and ran through his front door slamming it behind me. I came into the living room to see Austin sitting shirtless on the couch, his hands clasped in front of him and his head hanging down.

Sighing with relief I walked over and sat down next to him placing my keys and phone on the coffee table in front of me. “What happened?” I asked placing a hand on his back.

“You didn’t hear yet?” He asked. His eyes slowly rose to meet mine and I couldn’t help but pick out every piece of sadness that was hidden in them. “Mitch Lucker died…”

My breath caught in my throat. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, it’s all over the internet. You really didn’t know?”

“No, I mean I saw a few RIP Mitch tweets but I didn’t really put two and two together.” I admitted.

“How fucked is that?” He asked leaning back against the cushions and throwing his head back.

“How’d he die?” I asked watching as Austin starred at the ceiling above him.

“Motorcycle accident.” He said slowly not moving his gaze. “I just feel so sorry for Kenadee and Jolie…”

“Oh my god…I know.” I said shaking my head slowly. I had never met Mitch and I was never a
Suicide Silence fan but I had heard from Austin and the guys how great of a guy he was.

“There’s a memorial tonight…near the crash site.” Austin’s head lolled to the side so he could look at me. “Will you go with me?”

“Of course, Austin.”

He smiled taking my hand in his and giving it a squeeze.

We left a few hours later. Austin had a hard time finding a parking space at first; I couldn’t believe how many people had turned up. I gave Austin a reassuring smile as we climbed out of the car and made our way towards the huge gathering of people. Austin took my hand in his as he pushed through the crowd a little bit to get a good spot. I noticed some girls were getting overly excited that
Austin was there. One girl even had the nerve to come up and ask for a picture with him. Austin
politely declined, explaining he was here to honor a friend and that she should do the same.

Someone passed around some candles and Austin and I each took one, borrowing the guy who was standing beside me’s lighter to light them. We all stood in silence listening to people talk about Mitch. I couldn’t help but tear up a bit listening to the stories. His wife was there, along with his daughter and some of his family members. Fans were able to speak, close friends, members of the band. It was such a beautiful way to honor him.

Austin rarely let go of my hand the whole time, and I kept squeezing his back letting him know silently that everything will be alright. The girl who had asked for the picture with him before was standing not too far away, the flash of her camera going off as she tried to get pictures of him and I standing there. I couldn’t believe how rude she was.

As the crowds dispersed, they left flowers, gifts, candles, whatever they had on them at the makeshift shrine that had been erected in Mitch’s honor. I stood back as Austin placed the flower he had bought on the way here down along with our candles, crying a little as he stepped back. I pulled him into my arms giving him a long reassuring hug, swearing I saw the flash of a camera but not caring.

Austin pulled away taking my hand in his once more and leading me back towards the car. He drove in silence keeping his eyes focused on the road. I knew his mind was spinning, knew he was turning things over and over in his mind. He pulled into the driveway and we both stepped out of the car.

“Rae, can I talk to you?” He asked me as I neared my car door. I stopped and turned leaning against it. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I guess this whole thing just really made me realize how short life really is. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked feeling more and more confused.

“If I dropped dead tomorrow, the only thing I’d regret was breaking up with you. I don’t want to do this anymore, Rae. I don’t. It’s stupid. I love you more than anything on this planet and I’m pretty sure you love me too. Hearing about that douchebag who took you on that awful date killed me. And not just because he treated you terribly but the thought of you being with another guy, it drove me insane for weeks. But I pushed you away thinking it was the right thing to do. It’s not. I want you back, Rae. Will you be my girlfriend again?”

Tears were falling from my eyes for a whole new reason now. These were happy relieved tears.
These were the tears I had been waiting for weeks to fall. I threw my arms around his neck practically shrieking. I kissed him hard forcing his mouth open with my tongue and running my hands through his hair.

“I love you too…” I said breathlessly looking into his eyes in the dark autumn night.

“Will you spend the night?”

“Ugh, I wish. I have work tomorrow and I don’t have any of my stuff.” I explained.

“Well, tomorrow then? We’ll rent movies and order take out.”

“Deal.” I said with a smile and kissing him again.

I opened my car door and was about to climb in when he stopped me again.

“You didn’t answer me.”

“Yeah, I said not tonight…tomorrow night, silly.” I said going to get in the car again only for him to
stop me.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked with a dazzling smile.

“Yes, Austin.” I said smiling back and kissing him again.

“Call me when you get home, babe.” He said smiling as he shut my car door, waving in the driveway
as I backed out.