My Understandings

~Vic~
Man, my head! It hurts! I groaned and flipped over.
*Bam*
“Fuck burrito.” I muttered. I got off the floor and realized, this isn’t my bus. This isn’t my bunk. Why do I have such a hangover? Why is there a Pikachu beanie on the ground? Where is my beanie? Where are we?
“Hey, keep it down or sleep on the couch! some people need sleep!” a very sleepy Ellie yelled from the top bunk. I checked the time. Five in the morning. Two more hours until we reach Las Vegas, twelve more hours until our date. Disasterology began playing and Ellie screamed. She grabbed her phone from under her pillow. I smiled. At least she didn’t change the ring tone.
“Austin?” my grip on the edge of the bunk tighten. I know her and Austin are cool. But I’m not. He tried to drown me!
“Yeah I remember.” Remember what? All the time they had while dating? News flash, she’s with me! “What!” she sat out of bed. A smile crept across her face. “For tonight’s show?” what about tonight? Now I’m really starting to not like him. “Yeah I’ll find it. Mk. bye.”
“What?” I ask as she jumped from her bunk and stepped over me. She opened the closet and grabbed a shoe box. She threw the lid out and grabbed a necklace. It was a pink squid with pink, orange and green tentacles.
“What the heck is that?” I asked.
“It’s Squidgy. A Squidgy necklace. Austin and I have an interview this afternoon, so since he’s bringing Squidgy, I’m wearing the necklace. She set in in her bra and got in the top bunk. She stuck her hand out for me. I gave her a confused look. “Come cuddle with me dipshit.” I smiled and climbed in after her.
~Ellie~
We arrived in Las Vegas, but it was like seven in the morning. We had to set up, get the merch tents up, get the venue up, and tons of other crap. I climbed over Vic and lost my balance. I fell to the floor with a smack to my cheek. I cry out in pain and curse under my breath and grab some clothes. I grabbed a strapless dress. The top is black and the bottom is plaid. I grab my floral Toms and head for a shower. After letting the hot water hit my body, I look in the mirror. A bruise already forming on my cheek. I had fingerprint bruises on my neck and arms. It was from all those people grabbing me during the Wall of Death. I touched the bruise on my neck and flinched. It really hurts. I usually cover it because if people saw it, they would attack Austin. Then Austin would feel guilty, which I didn’t need since we are on a road to recovery. I put the Squidgy necklace on and some cover up on the bruise, including the one on my cheek. I braid my hair back up and take a final look in the mirror. I walk into the kitchen and grab a Red Bull. I walk out the bus and see the busy people working. I walk back on the bus to get my guitar and walk back out. I look for the rest of my band. I spot them in a nearby tent.
“Ellie!” Ryan calls. I walk over there and he snickers. “This is a Vans Warped Tour, not a Toms Warped Tour.” I punch him in the arm. I see Kellin walking by. I point at his grey Toms.
“That’s what she said.” I smirk. I see Pierce the Veil walking by and Vic smiles at me. I wave back and sit on a chair. “What’s today’s plan?”
“We play three shows, you do the interview with Austin, and then all four of us get an interview together. We announce our headline tour, which consists of All Time Low, Of Mice & Men and Tonight Alive. We do a meet and greet, signing, we announce our album and our new single, one more performance, and we’re done for the day.”
Wow. That’s a lot. But it’s all worth it. If this is what it takes to get our band out there, then I will do whatever it takes. We got up to help a couple of photographers. Then they wanted a picture of us. They told me to stand in the front, hold my guitar on the ground, but leave one hand on it as if I was holding it out. Miley and Ryan were flacking either side of me with Max behind me. They took the photos and a couple of others like us being stupid and one where Max fell. And one nice group photo. They thanked us and Ryan led them to our tour bus so they could get photos of it before we mess it up. We went to set up our equipment. Max set the drums out and sat on the floor, trying to pull of the pens of the foot. Our stage manager was running around crazy giving orders.
“Coffee! Where’s the coffee?! Hey you over there, fix the chord on mic number three! John! Where’s the photographer for our set?! John? John!” I laugh. She really needs a day off. She works nonstop for us. Someone passed around doughnuts. I refused the offer. Doughnuts would do nothing but make me fat. Miley nudge my shoulder.
“Come on! Eat! I can’t remember the last time I saw you eat.” Miley looked at me, concerned. For her sake I shoved the doughnut in my mouth. It was so good. I ate two more. Miley smiled at me. It was nice to eat. But my stomach made that rumbling noise. I ran to the nearest patch of grass and purged. Once I was sure all the doughnuts were gone, I backed away. I bumped into something hard. A something that wrapped its arms around me.
“Are you still bulimic?” that voice. Austin. I looked at him.
“Uh, no. I’m sick.” I tried to cover it up.
“Ellie, I know you’re lying. You thought I would forget the time you told me. When was the last time you ate?” he asked. He handed me his half empty water bottle. I shrug.
“Maybe, like a week before Warped.” I shrug my shoulders. Why should he care? If he really cared about my health, he would’ve come back. I downed the rest of his water.
“Ellie,” I put a hand to his face.
“Austin, I don’t wanna fight with you. So butt out.” He sighed, but nodded. He opened his arms and I ran into them. His scent filled my nose. Cinnamon and axe. Weird combination. I hugged him so tight. I’ve long for this moment for so long. I hadn’t even notice I was crying until I felt his shirt get wet. I pull back and wiped my tears.
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled.
“It’s okay. What are friends for?” I smile. He is making such an effort to not mess up this friendship. I pat his shoulder and walk off. I sit down by the merch tent. Kellin walked into the tent and looked at me.
“What the hell was that?” he asks clearly pissed.
“What?”
“Since when are you and Austin all buddy up?” he yells.
“Because! I feel like we should all be friends! He broke my heart and got me trampled in a Wall Of Death, the least I could do was be friends with him! It’s not my fault he knows me well-” I leaned over the side of the chair and barfed on the grass. Kellin jumped back five steps. I grabbed another water bottle and downed half of it. “He knows what’s happening to me and no one else besides Miley will ever know!” I yell at him. I shove by him and stomp away.
“Wait! Ellie! I didn’t mean it like that!” I didn’t even listen. I walked outside the now stuffy venue. I sat on a nearby patch of grass and laid back. My stomach turned again, but I resisted the urge to throw up my insides. It’s eight in the morning! How is this possible?! I groan and turn over. Just hold it down until the interview. Oli came walking by and he sat next to me.
“You alright?” he asked. I nodded. Kyle was running around trying to splash Monster Energy on everyone to wake up.
“Oh Oliver!!!!” he threw the drink, but Oli ducked and it got on me. I screamed, knowing the cover up is drowning. Kyle and Oli look at me.
“Are those fingerprint bruises on your neck and arms?” Kyle asks.
“And a bruise on your cheek?” I began to cry? Why? Because I’m weak.
“Was it Austin?” Kyle snapped. I shook my head. I ran away from them and ran to the OM&M bus. I knocked on it furiously and Alan opened up.
“Ellie hey-whoa! What happened to you? Why do you smell like an energy drink?” I opened my mouth to talk but nothing but a sob came out.
“Yo, ginger! Have you seen Squidgy? I need him for the interview-Ellie?” Austin eyes met mines. My puffy eyes stare at him. Alan looks at us and he motions for me to follow him
“What happened? Why are you covered in fingerprints? What is this on your cheek?” he grabs my wrist and he sighs. Happy to see no new scars. I wipe away the remaining tears.
“The bruise on my cheek, I fell off my bunk. The fingerprints are from the wall of death.” His face drops as his fingers run over my arms.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Austin no.” I snap. I turn to face him, his hands tight on my wrists. “Remember what my mom said? Don’t feel sorry for others; just think of ways to make it better.” He nods. My mother always gave out good advice. This one was directed at us because both of us lost a parent. I remember when Austin told me what happened.
*flash back*
“I got a call from my mom and I couldn’t answer because I was fucking working.” He says quietly, voice shaking. “She left me a voicemail then, two hours later my grandmother called me, crying, saying, “Something happened to your mom…..go to the hospital.” I was freaking out. One of the ladies drove me because they didn’t want me driving I was so scared. And as soon as I got to the hospital, there was an ambulance pulling in. They were pulling my fucking mom out and that was the last fucking time I saw her.”
*Flash back over*
Austin looked at me. he knows I’m thinking about it. I lost my dad. I hate remembering how he died. Instead, I think of ways of how happy he was when he was alive. Austin smiled at me.
“You’re right. I am going to make it better. Tomorrow it’s going to be you, Alan, and I. we’re going to reunite and have fun!” he hugs me. “Will you come?” he looks at me and gives me a puppy dog face. I smile and kiss him on the cheek.
“Of course.” I smile and he gives me a hug. For a second I’m lost in his eyes. His smile. His lips brush against my neck sending shivers down my neck. I turn to face him and my forehead touches his, our lips inches apart. Right before they touch my phone rings. It’s Miley. “I have to, um, go.” I pat his shoulders and walk away.
I almost kissed Austin.
Shit.

Notes