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My Understandings

Awakening

Epilogue


I could feel myself drowning. I could feel the water fill my lungs and mouth. The darkness was ripped away from me and the cold, harsh reality of what had just happened flooded back. I screamed out as the cold water engulfed me again, pulling me under. I opened my eyes and seen the haze of water around me. I made it to the surface and laughed at myself. The alcohol had made me delirious.
“She sits up high! Surrounded by the sun! ONE MILLION BRANCHES AND SHE LOVES EVERYONE!!!!!” I sang out. I cried as more waves passed over my head. I spun around in the water and laughed when I had the air to.
“Lying, cheating. Think I don't know what you did? Lying, cheating. Think I don't know what you did?” I screamed out more. “Have many long to breathe, the dead are listening, buried you with my faith, these few last words regret to say. Can't do this on my own, I can't be all alone, I've held my tongue for far too long this silence kills me...” I screamed out. I felt myself being grabbed. I was spun around in the water and seen Austin inches away from me. I pushed him away from me and slipped under again. He pulled me up and I sung out again. “Someday I'll drive, close both my eyes. We'll swim in circles in the blue lights. And I just want to fade away into the sky under the sea. A million kissed underwater as we walk into the ocean.” I grabbed his head and pulled him under the water and kissed him. He didn't react. Just let me kiss him. We both surfaced again and I giggled.
“Do you see me at all under the tall waves?” I sung. He closed his eyes and began to pull me towards the edge of land near the cliff. "Do you see me at all?" I sung out and pulled myself under the water again.
He just picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. "Hey put me down" I screamed. He ignored me and finally pulled us both out of the water. He placed me on the ground and shook his hair off. I looked up at him hazily. "I never thought you'd be capable of suicide Ellie." He just looked down at me. I pulled myself to my feet. "Suicide? I wasn't killing myself" I said crossing my arms over my chest. "You were drunk, standing on a cliff. Do you know where that ocean leads to?” he said harshly.
“No.” I bluntly replied.
He came right up for my face. “High tide. A fucking high tide and massive currents! It could’ve pulled you under and you would’ve drowned.” He said completely serious.
"Oh can we go?" I said excited and began to walk over to jump in the water again. He just grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. I tried pushing against him but he was too strong. "Get off me" I said pushing against him. "I said, GET FUCKING OFF ME" I screamed up at him. He didn't move or let me go. I began to cry and fall downwards.
He sat us down and held onto me as I cried. Why did he do this to me? "This is your fault. This is your entire fault" I said over and over. He just nodded and cried. Eventually I heard voices.
“Austin! You down there?” Phil called.
“Yeah I got her.” he called back.
He held me in his arms and began walking. I didn't say anything. Not a word. When we got to the beach I remembered I was angry at Austin and climbed out of his arms. "Ellie you're drunk, just let him carry you. We'll be back to the house quicker that way" Alan said looking into my eyes. "I don't want to go back there" I whispered. Shayley came over to me and looked into my eyes. "Come on kid, we're gonna go for a walk" I nodded and we started walking in a different direction. He put his hoody around me and we found a log to sit on.
"Why did you jump?" He asked. I looked up at him. "I didn't mean to... I was devastated and when I saw the cliff I thought of Dark In my Imagination. It became haunting and daring. ‘But I don’t wanna think about it now. I know I won’t get out if I’m falling'. I needed it. When you guys came running you scared me and I fell" I explained. He sighed and looked up at me. "He didn't do anything" Shayley looked at me with sadness in his eyes. "How do you know? He went and met her" I said with tears forming in my eyes. "She bribed him" Shayley said. I looked at him and he sighed. "She was going to tell everyone that he was cheating on you, with that merch girl hook up at Warped with Maria. For some sick reason she got someone to take pictures of them kissing that time and saved them and use them to show everyone that he has a new girlfriend since no one really knew about him and Maria." Shayley explained. I closed my eyes and felt the guilt wash over me.
"I'm becoming a fucking disaster Shayley." I cried. Tears began falling down my face.
“No you’re not. I’m proud of you for being two months clean. But you scared me though. When I saw Austin’s car gone, I wanted to pay you a visit. But seeing you keys on the ground and the door wide opened scared me a little. Boomer was sitting in the bedroom by Austin’s phone and the liquor cabinet was opened. I thought something terrible had happened to you. Don’t even get me started on Austin. He went crazy. Yelling at me and crying saying that he can’t lose you for a second time. Alan, Phil, and Tino were wrecks too.”
“I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. Even if it's too soon to say or whatever. That boy fucking loves you" He continued. "He's just trying his best to make it work" Shayley said standing up and kissing my head. "Come on, back to the house before you get sick" I took his outstretched hand and we walked back to the house talking and cheering up from the conversation.

When I walked onto the bus Tino and Phil were sitting waiting for us. Their faces lit up when they saw me. "Shayley's going home." I told them and they nodded. They both got up and hugged me. "I'm okay guys" I whispered. They nodded and let me go. "Where is he?" I asked and they both pointed to the bedroom. I nodded and walked back there. My damn clothes clung to my body. Austin opened his door and stepped out. He looked at me and sighed. He walked over and pulled Shayley’s hoody off me. He pulled my shirt off and I took my bra off. He didn't even react like a normal guy would. He just pulled one of his shirts over my head I pulled off my jeans. I threw them to the side. I looked up to Austin and he just stared into my eyes. I leaned up and kissed his lips. He kissed me back and we didn't say another word. We went into his bed and lay together. He didn't say anything just held me. I eventually fell asleep and my dreams were filled with my fall off the bridge.
~Austin~
My eyes widen and were filled with sadness as she fell backwards. I shot up straight out of the bed and fumbled for the figure next to me.
It was empty.
She did survive yesterday. Right? I didn’t imagine all of that. Right?I scrambled to get out of bed and saw her bag gone.
No. No. No. No. No.
I refuse to let that sink in.
I walked down stairs and saw no trace of her what so ever. Boomer was sitting by the backdoor, face between paws and the house was empty. I searched the house for her. bathroom, kitchen, guest room, basement, attic, backyard. She’s not here. I banged my fist on the wall, biting my lip to hold back the tears that threaten to come. I walked out to the front yard and saw her car.
Her car is still here.
I heard a hoarse laugh and a sob after. I turned around. There were more sobs. I looked up to see a girl with blonde hair sitting on my roof.
“HEY!” I called. Her head lifted up and her eyes met mine. Puffy, red, and swollen, the girl stared at me.
Icy blue eyes.
“Stay there!” I called. I ran up to the attic and opened the window. I lifted my upped body up to grab the roof for support before climbing on the roof. I crawled my way to her and embraced her in my arms, removing the bottle of Jack Daniel’s from her grip.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Austin.” She whispered. I kissed her head lightly.
“It’s okay.”
“I hate myself.”
“No you don’t Ellie.”
“I do. I really do. Look around.” She sobbed. “A drunk person speaks a sober heart.”
“Ellie, everything has changed. You’re not the same person you were two years ago.” I state.
“That’s because I had you two years ago.”
“And you have me now. But this time, we’re different. You’re not shy anymore and I’m not goofy anymore.” She gave me a look. “Well, not that goofy.” She giggled a little. “You’re serious about your band and you’re being young and reckless. I’m being more serious and settling down a bit. But one thing will never change and that’s how I feel about you. So stop saying you hate yourself. I love you Ellie. With all my heart. Sure you’re drunk, but your sober heart knows this is the truth. Sure you scared me yesterday, but what matters is that you’re here with me. Today. I want you to have a future and hopefully, I will be a part of that future. The two of us. ”
Wow. Way to go Austin.
Award for best girlfriend speech ever, Austin Carlile!
“Why did you dye your hair?” I asked breaking off the silence. Her body trembled next to mine, a sob followed shortly.
“I wanted to cut.” She whispered. I took her arm and looked at her wrist. A small dot lay risen on her skin. I frowned. “I started to, but realized I couldn’t break my promise that I made. So to occupy myself, I went to the store and bought some dye and dyed my hair blonde. But I still had the urge to cut. So I came here and drank while watching the sun rise.” I stayed silent. “Austin?” she asked nervously.
“Hmm.”
“Are you mad at me?” she somehow snuck the bottle out of my grip and was now taking another sip. This is not good for her heart.
“No.” I kissed the top of her head.
“Austin?”
“Hmm.”
“I love you.” The blood froze in my body.
Finally. She said it. Those three words I’ve been waiting two and a half years for her to say. She said it. And I couldn’t be happier. Two years of her being in denial and shutting off any form of love, she’s finally said it.
“I love you too.”








Notes

THE FUCKING END!!!!
And guess what, there's a sequel too, I'm already writing it. :) It may be up later this week!!! BOO-YAY!!!
Thank you for sticking with me with over 15k reads. THANK YOU ALL! Like I said before, if you want to read more of my work, I'm on the PTV, BMTH, SWS, and ATL websites with stories there. Until next time my loves.

Comments

I love this story!!! And your username is amazing!! I love Heroes!

I want Austin and Ellie back together already!...

i ship ellie and alex

I've been crying trough it all... I love it!!

YAAAAAYYYY

laullypop laullypop
12/11/13