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My Understandings

The Common Hours

I hate life. Katelynne called and told me to get dress and come back to the house. I didn’t want to and face Austin. God, what if he goes out on me. I don’t think I could handle that. I really couldn’t. I got dressed on the studio bathroom. After putting my pants on, I took my hair out the bun and it fell in waves. I slipped a beanie on and got in the car. It wasn’t that far of a drive and I was pissed at that. Pulling up to my house, I quietly closed the door and walked up the driveway. I twisted the key into the knob, jiggling it a couple times, and opened the door.
“SURPRISE!” more confetti was thrown in my face along with streamers and balloons fell from the ceiling. I was awed.
“What is this?” I saw a familiar Mexican making his way through the crowd. “Vic? I thought,”
“Austin called us, and I See Stars and the rest of Sleeping with Sirens. It’s a party for your band getting signed.” Austin did this? I made my way in and examined everything. A banner on the wall said Congratulations! And cake was on the table surrounded by various alcohol beverages. Austin and Alan came up to me, holding mini firecrackers. Austin handed me one. I had tears pricking my eyes.
“You guys,” I sighed and started to cry. I didn’t deserve this. None of it. They still don’t know I was raped, they don’t know I started cutting again. They don’t know and I hate myself. “I’m sorry.” And I ran to my room. I locked the door and slid down it crying. I crawled to my bed and reached under the mattress to pulled out my razor.
One slit and I can in it all.
I placed the razor over the big blue vein on my wrist.
The door barged open and the razor made a line across my wrist. Right below the vein. I sighed a deep breath and continue to cry. Arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hug.
“Ellie, why?” it was Mitch. I sobbed even more into his chest and it all came pouring out. All the secrets I’ve been keeping to myself came out. It seemed even worse said out loud than in my head.
“I’m so sorry Ellie. I’m so sorry.” He whispered in my ear.
Mitch cleaned up the mess and laid out a clean outfit for me to wear. Thirty minutes later, we walked hand I hand down the stairs. Jolie sent me a smile and walked over to me, hugging me and Mitch.
“It’s gonna be okay.” She whispered.
“BEER PONG!” Alan screamed.
“Wanna be my partner?” I shook my head and decided to watch.
Three games later, Austin and Vic were dominating the beer pong table as undefeated champs. They only had to drink four times since the first round with Kellin and Mitch. From there they played some of Austin’s band mates, Alan, Phil and Tino. Alan eyed the 5 cups remaining, trying to perfect his beer pong form and took his shot. However, considering that they were tipsy when they started playing, by now he was obliterated. His attempts at aiming didn’t help one bit, and the ball landed nowhere on the table. Tino stood beside Alan shaking his head as Alan tried to balance on his feet. Every now and then Austin’s hand would wrap around mines and give it a little squeeze. I wasn’t sure how he did it, but he’d make butterflies riot in my stomach.
It didn’t take long for someone to beat them. During their fifth round as reigning champions, Tino paired up with Mitch and began dominating the table. He sank five in a row, breaking Vic’s three-drinks-only limit. I looked up at Austin and he smiled like a child at Disneyland. They were doing okay until Mitch got three in a row. After that, they were nearly plastered. I could hear Austin’s words slightly slur together as he spoke into my ear. I had no idea what he said, but I laughed anyway. His arms slid around my waist, pulling me closer. This time I heard every syllable he uttered in my ear.
“Wanna get out of here? Maybe go sit in the sand.” He said nodding towards the beach down the road. We sat on the sand and watched the waves. They were so rough. Demanding. Anything that would’ve went in there would’ve been sucked up and lost at sea. I heard quite sniffles next to me.
“Austin?” I turn to him and he looked at me. Eyes with watery edges.
“I’m so sorry Ellie. I’ve made a mess out of everything and I gave up the one thing that meant something to me.” seeing Austin cry could make anyone cry. “I’m so sorry for those words I said to you earlier. Months earlier and I did nothing. But now I am. You’re not a slut or a whore. You’re beautiful. I was intoxicated and I was saying random things out of my mind. I don’t feel that way about Gielle. Nooo. Because she cheated. And Ellie you would never cheat on me.” he wiped some tears away. I scooted over to him and placed myself in his arms.
“It’s okay.” I cried. “I’ve been through a lot in the past month, but, we can leave it all in the past?” I helped him up. “Let’s go back and enjoy the party.” He nodded and jogged down the street. I took one look back at the beach and sighed.
At the party, we ate cake and watch the guys attempt dancing at their drunken state. Austin drank a couple beers before stopping and recording the scene unfolding in front of us. never in my life had I though Kellin could be this stupid. But here he was dancing his ass off like no tomorrow. Soon, I found myself lying on my bed. I didn’t want to be down there, only to deal with another drunken Austin. I change into some shorts and a tank top and go into David’s room to watch Star Wars. Hours must have passed because a knock at the door scared the living shit out of me.
“Come in,” I say while diverting my attention back to the movie. The door opened and I looked up and saw Austin. I pated a spot on the couch slash bed.
He grinned and sat down beside me on the couch. He sat on the end and I cuddled up to him, placing my head on his shoulder. Somewhere, in the middle of one of the movies, I ended up on the opposite corner and his head was in my lap. I was idly playing with his hair, pulling on it occasionally since he wasn’t tender headed. I laughed at one part in the movie and was shocked when he didn’t. I looked down and saw that his eyes were closed and I smiled down at him. I leaned back and played with his hair some more, waking him up when the movie ended.
“What I miss?” he asked.
“The whole movie.” I smirk. I yawned and flopped on the futon. I grabbed a blanket and curled up. The futon dipped and the blanket was ripped from me. “Hey!” I turn around and my face collided with Austin’s chest. He had already shed his clothes down to his boxers. He draped the blanket over us. I curled up against his chest and was about to sleep with he called me.
“Ellie.” I looked up at him.
“Yea.”
"Be my girlfriend.” Austin begged me.
"No, Austin. You know how my past relationships have been and you know they always ended in the exact same way as the one before that and the with you as well." I mumbled the last part.
"Let me prove you wrong. If I don’t, you won’t ever have to talk to me or see me again for the rest of your life." he said. I turned around to face him and I knew that was a mistake.
His eyes absorbed mine and I was instantly lost in them. “Please.” he pleaded. I sighed and nodded in defeat.
“Fine. But if you mess up, that’s it, Carlile.” I said warningly.
He nodded and grinned. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me tightly. “You won’t regret it. I promise.” he said, kissing the top of my head and grinning happily to himself.
I woke up the next morning feeling horrible. I was hit by a sneeze attack, followed by a few coughs. “Are you okay?” Austin asked me, leaning back, but keeping his arm around me. “Yeah, I’m fine. Probably just allergies.” I said.
He nodded, but gave me a face when I coughed again. I rubbed my throat, surprised by the pain. It could possibly be from all the crying I’ve consumed in the past month, all the nonsense screaming I’ve been doing or it could be a sign of infection. All that cutting I did while still healing from the surgery couldn’t have been good. Austin got up and walked into the bathroom. He came with throat spray and handed it to me.
I meekly took it from him and gave him a look of thanks. I eyed the pink scar lining his chest. we’re alike in so many ways now.
His eyes were set on the TV, watching Worlds Dumbest. “That dumbass.” he muttered to himself before bringing his eyes to me again. “Did you take it?” he asked me. “Mhm.” I said, pressing my lips together.
He took the bottle from me and held it. “No, you didn’t. Open.” he said. I rolled my eyes and reluctantly opened my mouth. I felt the soothing liquid calm my throat andswallowed it. He picked me up and carried me to the bed in my room, covering me up with the blankets. “You need to stay warm. I want you staying in bed from now on. If you need anything, tell me.” he said.
I nodded and he laid down beside me. “Austin.” I said. He looked over at me with his eyebrows raised. “Yeah?” he asked. “I need to go to the bathroom.” I said. “Then go, smartass.” he said. I grinned and got up. When I walked back, he opened his arms and I cuddled against him.
“I miss this.” He mutters in my hair.
“I do too.” It’s been two years since I’ve felt what it is like to be in his arms.
----
“I feel dirty.” he said, shrugged his shoulders. I grinned and shook my head.
"Have you already taken a shower?" he asked me. I nodded and watched him as he walked into the bathroom. I heard the water cut on and I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, hoping to get the nasty taste of the medicine out.
I grinned when I was done and went into the bedroom to grab my phone. I walked back into the bathroom and pulled the shower curtain open, him covering himself up when he noticed the phone.
"Ellie!" he shouted from the shower as I ran back into the bedroom, closing the door behind me. I heard the water turn off and I got settled under the blankets.
He opened the door, already in his boxer briefs and I grinned. I patted the spot beside me and he walked over and laid down beside me. He noticed the movie I was watching and realized it was a romance.
"Nice movie." he said, settling into my arms. He had his head lying on my stomach and I had one arm draped across his back while my other hand played with his hair.
"You like it?" I asked him, shocked. I felt him nod and his hair tickled my stomach. I grinned and looked down on him as I felt his breathing even.
Such an odd way of falling asleep. I thought, but sleep overcame me immediately after.

Notes

Comments

I love this story!!! And your username is amazing!! I love Heroes!

I want Austin and Ellie back together already!...

i ship ellie and alex

I've been crying trough it all... I love it!!

YAAAAAYYYY

laullypop laullypop
12/11/13