My Understandings

“Phew!” me and Kellin laughed. We just finished our performance on the Monster Energy stage and it was sick.
“I’m so stoked for the rest of this tour!” Kellin fist pumped me. My hair was sticking to my body from all the sweat. Our feet hurt. Jumping and prancing around in heels is something I would not recommend you do. when our band got to our bus, everybody crashed. Except me. I took out the paper Alan slipped me.
Ellie, long time no see. Meet me behind the OM&M bus. We need to talk.
Still in my outfit from preforming, I slipped off our bus and walked behind the OM&M bus. There he was, my little ginger leaning on the back of the bus.
“Alan?” he rushed to me and hugged me.
“Ellie! I missed you!” he lifted me up and spun me around. I couldn’t be mad at him he was my Gingy, and truth be, I miss him too. When Austin and I broke up, I lost all contact with Alan. But seeing him just makes me want to hug him and never let him go.
“I missed you too.” We talked and caught up on what happened over the two years.
“So, what happened with you and Austin?”
“I-”
“Alan! Where did you go?!” Austin began to call out Alan’s name. I needed to escape and apparently he saw that. He told me to run to the other side and crawl under the bus. The buses won’t start up until a couple of hour.
“Alan! There you are! Who were you talking to?” Austin asked, his foot right in front of where I was hiding.
“No one! Just thinking out loud. Hey why don’t we walk this way?” he tried to tug Austin but he would not move.
“I want to talk to you about Ellie. Man, what if Ellie really was here?”
Look down here dipshit!
“Would you talk to her? explain why you broke up with her? because man, it seems like you broke up with her for no reason.” Austin sighed. I heard a sniffle. Was he crying?
“It’s been hard. I mean, first Gielle cheats on me!” Gielle? “I wish I was curled up next to Ellie. Pouring out my heart like I use to . looking at her crystal eyes.” The bus cranked up.
Oh shit.
Alan must have noticed it, he told Austin to go get a beer. When he left Alan helped me up. I smelled like smoke. The bus cut off and Alan told me to make a run for it. And I did.
I ran towards my bus, but not before running smack into Austin.
“Hey, sorry.” My shades fell off.Austin looked into my eyes. He saw the gray-blue crystal eyes I have. “Ellie.”
“Fuck nuggets.” I murmur. I snatched my shades and ran to my bus. Well, I thought it was my bus. But I ran right into it, down to the bunks and collapsed into Alex’s arms.
“Whoa! What shit in your pants?” he asked.
“Ellie!” I could hear Austin’s voice. I text the band and tell them I’m in ATL’s bus.
“Austin. I don’t want to talk to him.” I breathe. He nods and pulls me into his bunk. The buses crank up and we pull out the venue. I put my hands up defeat. It’s been two years! Why show up in my life now?! Why make things complicated even more than it needs to be?!
“Hey, do you always wear a microphone ring?” Alex smirked at me. I was knocked out of my thoughts.
“Yeah. The microphone ring was given to me by my ex-boyfriend. It was given to me the same night he died.” I can remember that night as clear as daytime. I remember when Austin asked about it, all I told him was it’s a gift. But I was head over heels with Justin. He had given me the ring as a token of our love. He left my house around one in the morning. He had to be home. And on his way home, it was a red light. It was pouring down raining. He saw it too late. He was pronounced dead at the hospital. Never in my life had I been in such an emotional wreck. I run my fingers over the scars that constantly remind me of what his death took a toll on me. They were faded, but the newly bruised one’s are from what Austin did. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. This is what caused me to turn to music. Because I know I have fans out there that has been through more shit than I have. Alex was next to me in a hug. He doesn’t say anything though and I’m glad. When Justin died all people said was I’m sorry. It’s going to be okay. But they don’t know what it’s like to confess your love to someone and have them die on the same fucking night!!! They don’t or never will know what it’s like to have your heart shattered twice. One by someone who passed and one by someone who is living well and is nothing but minutes away from you. No one will ever know how much I am hurting on the inside to this very day!!! No one! Ever! I’m bawling my eyes out. Alex is shushing me and Jack is giving me tissue.
“Why must he ruin everything!!!!” I scream into Alex’s chest. He listens to me ramble on. “He breaks up with me out of the blue and expects me to forgive him about it!!! I hate him!!!!” I sob into his chest. “To make it worse, I just met you guys and I’m here crying my heart out to you.” Alex rubbed his hand up and down my back.
“Shush. Calm down. Just let it all out. I’ve been in some rocky relationships. It’s going to get better. It’s gonna hurt for a while, but you’ll meet someone who’s there for you through thick and thin. May not be today, tomorrow, the day after, it may not be on this tour, it may be on this tour, but you’re a beautiful girl with an amazing passion for music and her fans and you will find someone.”
Later that night, Alex gave me a pair of boxers and a tee shirt. I spend half my night staring at the moving scenery. SNS was behind us. I miss my guitar. I get a sharpie from my jean pocket and begin writing on a pair of socks they gave me. I’ve been writing lyrics for a song called Tongue Tied (A/N the song is by Grouplove).
“Don’t you ever sleep?” Alex chuckled from the doorway.
“I would if I could get my brain to stop working.” I joke. He got in the bunk with me, thankfully it was the bottom bunk, and sat beside me. he helped me brain storm a couple ideas and even told me to try different chords for this song. Before I knew it, it was morning and we had a finished song. But we crashed on the bunk. My dreams consist of Alex and I frolicking through the venue.
When I woke up the next couple hours later, my face is snuggled in Alex’s chest. I smiled and tried to sink further down into the blanket. His arms wrapped around me. I just finished my song and I know the band will be glad we have something new to add to the album. I can’t wait until after warped for our tour with Falling In Reverse and possibly ATL. I hope. Because Alex is really starting to grow on me. Alex wakes up a few minutes later and smiles at me.
“Who’s a happy camper who just finished her song?!” he jumps out of the bunk and goes into the main lounge. I follow him and there is All Time Low. Naked except for the white briefs. Alex has on white socks.
“Congrats!” they yell. My first thought was to take a picture, which I did. They did poses and I saved them. The second was to thank them. We are in San Diego and I had to show the guys the song. I ran off the bus in Alex’s clothes and I got a couple whistles from Pierce the Veil and Sleeping with Sirens. Mainly Kellin, Vic, Justin, and Mike. I run into my bus and throw down the sharpie. They all look at me.
“I just finished a new song!” they all cheered and they told me good news.
“Oli Sykes from Bring Me the Horizon wants you to do a duet with him and afterwards we get an interview!” this tour was just getting better by the minute.
“We are celebrating! I hear there’s a Warped party. A couple bands are gonna be there, drinks, food, and cute band members and because of me, Vic asked us to come. All of us and we are all going!!!” there was a loud knock on the door. We all looked towards it. I shrugged and ran to open it. Standing before me was a very, very pissed off Austin.

~Alex~
“You like her! Just admit it!” Rian yelled. They asked why I stayed up all night to help Ellie on her song and why I slept with her. They even asked if I got it in.
“I don’t like her! She’s just really nice and I would like to get to know her better!” I shout back.
“Then ask her out! We are like ten minutes away from a beach. Just ask to go to the beach or something. Don’t be stupid!” Jack said.
“Babe! That hurts!” I yell back and fall onto the couch. Jack sits on my lap and wraps an arm around my neck. The other hand he uses to slap me a couple times.
“You should be calling Ellie babe not me!” he gets up and walks over to the table to retrieve his Galaxy. He opens Instagram and there is a photo of me and Ellie sleeping together. I read the comments.
Aw
You two should date
Look at Ellie, she’s so cute.
Aw, Alex and Ellie
Ellie Gaskarth
I ship Ellex!
SNS+ATL=<3<3<3
Wow. Word gets around.
They all looked at me.
“Okay! I’ll ask her out!” I give in. I checked the time. “Guys, we gotta set up.”

~Austin~
I was mad. I open up Instagram and the first thing I see is a photo of Ellie and Alex sleeping in the same bunk. I ran to her bus and bang on the door non-stop. She opens it up and rolls her eyes. She’s wearing boxers and a shirt too big for her. Alex’s clothes.
“So are you and Alex a thing? Huh? Sleeping in the same bunk with him?” I yell.
“Calm down. I got on his bus after running away from you! I was working on a song and he helped me. It was six in the morning when we finished and we just crashed.” She yells. I punch the bus. “Why do you care? Remember Austin, we broke up.” Ouch. It’s not like I did it on purpose, I had a reason. I said nothing. “Goodbye Austin.” She closed the door in my face. I threw my hands up and stalked back to my bus. Alan was awaiting for me along with Tino.
“You guys talk?” Tino asked. I shook my head and went to my bunk. Sleep what I need is sleep………..
“Austin!” her voice rang through the darkness.
“Ellie?” I can’t see her. but I can hear her.
“Austin!”
“Ellie!” there was a blood curdling scream. there’s a whole with light beaming through. But the only thing I see is the crystal eyes.
“Austin! Austin!”
“Austin!” cold water hit my face. I rolled off the bunk face forward.
“Shit.” I mumbled. I got up to see Tino with a cup of water.
“Man, come on. We’re gonna be late.” I nodded. That dream seemed too real. I’ve heard that scream before. But from where?

~Ellie~
Where is it?! I can’t believe I lost it. I’ve thrown everything out of my bunk and the closet and it’s nowhere in sight.
“It’s ok, we’ll find you another guitar.” Max tried to reassure me.
“How! I need it for our performance and that was the only one I brought for the whole tour!” I grabbed my phone and dialed my mom’s number. She watches over my house while I’m on tour sometimes.
“Hey sweetie!”
“Mom!” I frantically yell.
“What’s wrong?”
“Is my guitar there? My Frender Rhythm guitar?”
“”Is it all black with purple streaks??” she asked worriedly.
“Yes!”
“Well, yeah, it’s here. On the couch.”
“I forgot to pack it! I need a guitar for our show in an hour!”
“Honey, calm down. Where are you?”
“San Diego.”
“OH! There’s a good guitar shop there by the beach just buy or rent another one.” I sigh a heavy sigh. “But while I have you, how’d the tour.”
“Oh my gosh, mom,” I gush to her about our performance and singing with Vic and how BMTH want us to do a duet. I tell her about the interview and u tell her all about Alex.
“Alex seems like a nice man.”
“He is I would so like to get to know him better.” I skip out the part about Austin, but I do tell her about Alan.
“That’s good. Well I got to get back to my job, talk to you later.”
“Okay bye mom.” I’ve always had a good relationship with my mother. I walk into the main lounge and see half my band is missing. Except Max.
“Miley went to talk to Mike about his tattoos. Ryan is at a merch tent flirting with one of the merch girls.” I nod. I grab my phone and my wallet.
“Well, I’m going to buy another guitar.” He flipped me off and turned on the TV. I grabbed my shades and I walked off the bus and began walking outside the venue.
“Ellie!” I turned and saw Alex running my way.
“Hey, what are you doing?” he looked like he was out of breath.
“Going to buy a guitar.”
“Geesh. I didn’t know you had so many tattoos.” I laugh. This was nothing compared to Miley’s.
“Yeah, but two are best friend tattoos. Miley has the same on.” I removed my shoe to reveal words on my foot and an anchor on my heel. I lift my shirt up to reveal birds flying away tattooed on my stomach. Behind my ear was music notes and on my right sleeve was roses. The only piercing I have is the nose ring and the ear clamp. Besides my aviator sunglasses I always wear. “They’re nothing compared to Miley. She has so many tattoos. But it’s cool though.
“So,” Alex stuck his hands in his front pockets. As if unsure of what to say.
“So?” we were nearing the guitar shop.
“I was wondering, tonight, if you wanted uh, get some coffee tonight?!” I looked at him weird. Coffee? Was there even a Starbucks in a walking distance from here?
“That sounds great, but I promised my band we would go to the party.
“Wait, I mean,” he sighed and brushed back his hair. “Okay, maybe some other time.” I nodded and ducked into the store.
Weird.
When I walked in, the last person I thought was to be here.

Notes