My Understandings

Holy fuck nuggets. Is Austin proposing? I'm not ready to marry at 25! And I have Andy! He means the world-well, not the world, but he means a lot to me ad I can't marry the one person who caused all this! I close my eyes. This is not happening. But that is a pretty necklace-wait. Is Austin proposing to me with a necklace? Somethings wrong.
“Ellie Schmitt, will you be my best friend again?” I open my eyes and breathed a huge sigh of relief. I slap Austin’s head really hard.
“I thought you were fucking proposing! Don't ever scare me like that again!!! You asshole! Of course. You know how forgiving I am.” He got up and put the necklace on me. “Okay, bestie. I need you to do me a favor. If any of the WCAR or my band ask where I am, tell them I’m on my bus. If they ask where Andy is, tell them he’s with Kyle.” He gave me a confused look. “Please. I’ll explain later.” He nodded and I took off running again. I saw his figure sitting on the swing. My heart began beating faster than usual and a huge smile was plastered on my face. I took a deep breath and walked to the back of the swing. I placed two hands over his eyes.
“I’ll kill you!” I yelled, my attempt to be serious. But of course my giggle gave it away.
“Cute.” I sit on the swing next to him and began twirling it.
“So, guess what?”
“Hmm.”
“Kyleknowswereathingandaustinandiarebestfriendsagain.”
“What?” I take a deep breath and say it more slowly.
“Kyle knows were a whatever we are and Austin and I are best friends, again.” I can see the anger go through his eyes before they calmed.
“Okay.”
“Okay? You’re okay with all of this” I wave my hands around the air.
“Yup.” He said popping the “p”.
“How?”
“Cause I am chill like that.” ohhhh. Well, this isn’t gonna end well. But there’s a first for everything. I felt his fingers lace through my hand and I smiled.
“Thank you.” I say.
“For what?”
“For being the stubborn asshole you are.” Ever since that night at the party, there have only been a few people who could actually touch me without getting slapped. I cling onto Andy the most because his voice and touch was the first thing I felt when I woke.
“Hey, I know I can be stubborn, but I’m not an a-hole.” I punch his arm.
“Come on, we have to get back to the buses.” We walked back hand in hand until the venue came in sight.
“See you later?”
“Yeah.” I pecked him on the lips and run off to find Miley.
“HEY!!!” I jump on her back and pat her head. “On ward, the bus!”
“Okay! I pick movie and we have a girls night!”
“Deal. Now mosh horsey mosh!!” she dropped her arms and I fell to the ground.
“You mosh!”
~Miley~
“I’M SO FRICKING PISSED!!!” Ellie and I yelled. We’re watching White Chicks as part of our girl’s night out.
“If you could bang a celebrity from a band, who would it be?” I asked, taking in a mouthful of M&M’s. she shoved a piece of licorice before smacking me with it.
“Devin Oliver from I See Stars.” She blushes deeply. “What about you?”
“Hmmm.” My train of though was gone when “Tiffany” yelled “Hold my poodle! Hold my poodle!” Ellie began laughing and it soon turned into chocking. We had on our Pj’s, I had on pajama pants and a tank top and Ellie has on Austin’s shirt and some shorts. “OH!” I yell. “I know who I would bang!”
That came out weird.
“Who?”
“Shayley Bourget.” I state proudly.
“Oh my gosh, he’s so hot, but he’s my friend! Well, brief friend.” She exclaims as soon as Andy walks through the lounge.
“You ladies talking bout me again?” he ask while grabbing a snack from the counter.
“You wish Buttjaw.” She snaps. Gosh, it’s like she hates him as much as I do.
I’ve done well.
I look into Andy’s eyes and see something that wasn’t there two weeks ago. There’s a glint of happiness in his eyes, even though he’s insulting Ellie.
“Whatever you say, Ice Princess.” I froze, he just used Austin’s old nickname for her. I looked at her and her cheeks were flaming red but it didn’t match with the look in her eyes. They have the same glint of happiness like Andy’s.
What the fuck is going on?
“Suck vagina Andy.” She spats.
“As long as it’s yours.” He smirks. She blushed. She freaking blushed!!!
“Go away Buttjaw.” I turned my attention away from them. Somethings up. But I will have to sleep on it. Ellie flopped back on the couch ad turned on Mean Girls.
“Hey babe, I’m calling it a night.”
“Oh. Okay, wee night!” she called. Something’s up. I know it.
~Ellie~
I sat on the couch after Miley left and turned on Mean Girls. I love hating this movie. Especially the scene where they do the Christmas show. I felt the couch dip next to me and I was pulled against my will into someone’s chest.
“Mean Girls?” he questions.
“Yes. My favorite movie of all time, so suck it up Buttjaw.” I turned to face him and his nose brushed against my cheek.
“Come again.” I was frozen. I couldn’t move, he has this kind of impact on me. I put hand on his cheek before closing in the space between us. Our lips moving in sync. He grabs my waist and pulls me closer, his teeth tugging on my lip ring. He bites my lip and as I opened my mouth to gasp, he sticks his tongue in my mouth. My fingers tangle in his hair as he pulls me on his lap. I pull away.
“That wasn’t fair.” I pout. He pecked my lips.
“I’m all for fair.” He picked me up and we sat on the loveseat. We “watched” the movie with a blanket draped over us and throwing candy at each other. I threw an M&M at his eye.
“Hey!” I giggled and punched is arm.
“There really is a sweet side to you Mr. Glass.” I mock.
“Yeah, nice to see you aren’t a total bitch after all.” He chuckles and I slap his arm.
“I will snatch that padawan braid right out of your head if you say that again.” He pressed his lips in a line. “Just shut up and snuggle with me.” I obeyed and snuggled under his arm.
“Mom?” I walk into her empty house. I hear wheezing and gasp of air, but I cannot pin point where the sound is coming from. “Mom?” I walk up the stairs, slowly, one at a time, and push the door open. I let out an ear splitting scream as I see my mom clutching a knife to her chest. “It’s your turn, Elizabeth.” That voice.
Josh.
A hand covered my mouth as I felt coldness and I collapsed to the ground.
I woke up on the loveseat. It was just a dream. I felt my back; dry and blood free. I checked my phone; it was 5:50 in the morning. My mom had just texted.
Mom: on my way to work, knock em dead!
She was alive. I turned my attention to the groggy Andy who was crouched in front of me. He used is index finger and poked me in the cheek.
“You okay?” he asks. But I couldn’t help but hear the voices coming back as they did when my father died. I couldn’t breathe. It was as if the air had been taken away from my lungs. Then cold.
God, who turned the air on?
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
-Dallas, Texas-
“Are you sure, this song requires a lot of screaming Ellie.” Miley asks me. In a couple of days, we’re flying out to L.A for our meeting with Rise Records and a couple other bands are going home for their off week.
“Yeah, I can do it.”
“SNS! SNS! SNS! SNS!” the crowd cheers. Let’s do this. I grab my guitar, A.K.A Vic’s, and walk out on stage. We’re doing the cover of I See Star’s Underneath Every Smile for a bonus track on our album. It’s more hardcore than we’re used to. Miley would be the clean vocals while I will be the unclean vocals and we have Ryan backing us. My brother is on side stage doing all the keyboarding until we find one ourselves.
Miley gives me the look and she sings into the microphone.
“So sick of screaming my lungs out;
We both lose.
You're never making a damn sound;
Can't keep my cool.
(Can't keep my cool.)
And I'm thinking it's my time
To crawl back inside my mind;
Am I wasting a second of air?

It's getting hard at the nights grow darker
I realized suffering is far from done;
My dreams have won.
What a waste of my precious time you've been.
I have to give up, I have to give up.”
“When the cards are down
And the space finally clears,
Hopefully you know...
When the cards are down
And the space finally clears,
Hopefully you know...
I'd go through hell and back for you.
When the cards are down
And the space finally clears,
Hopefully you know...
I'd go through hell and back for you.”
“So sick of screaming my lungs out;
We both lose.
You're never making a damn sound;
Can't keep my cool.
(Can't keep my cool.)
And I'm thinking it's my time
To crawl back inside my mind;
Am I wasting a second of air?”
“Why was it so easy to let me down?
I always thought better of you.”
“It's coming back around!
It's coming back around!”
“You let me relieve my very worst nightmare.
I tried so hard. I tried so hard.
Why was it so easy to let me down?
I tried so hard. I tried so fucking hard.”
“Speak now or forever be deceived.”
“I tried so hard. I tried so hard.”
“Why was it so easy to let me down?”
“I tried so hard. I tried so fucking hard.”
“It's coming back around!
It's coming back around!
It's coming back around!
It's coming back around!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Oh my God, Ellie, your face is so red!” I downed my water and fixed my shorts. I’ve never screamed so much in my life. My heart still beats as if it wanted to blow up. I quickly grabbed another bottle and a sharpie. We had another signing to do.
“Ellie?” a thick accent that I would know anywhere.
“Matt!” I run, well, slowly walk, to him and jump in his arms.
“Forgot about me yeah?” he asks. I pull his beanie over his eyes.
“Never. Remember our plan, we’re getting drunk! Party! On your bus!”
“Yeah! And Mikeywhiskyhands is coming yeah?” ohhhh. He means Mike.
“Yeah, I’ll ask him. I’ll text you later.” I hug him before running off to the tent. I sit between Max and Ryan, with Miley at the end. We nod at the security guard to let the first fan in. she was about my height, pretty tall, I’m taller than Kellin. She has blonde hair that was teased to the side. There was a tattoo running from her neck down her body. Her eyes look red, she must have been crying, and the first thing I noticed was the hand holding the guitar case was covered with bracelets from the wrist halfway up her arm.
“Hey, what’s your name?” I ask.
“Sarah.” She stuttered. She carefully set her guitar case on the table and I opened it, it was already signed by previous bands, I can tell because I see Austin’s signature on it. I smiled at her and signed the guitar next to Austin’s signature and slid the case down for the others to sign.
“Well Sarah, do you have a VIP pass?” she shook her head as she closed up her guitar case. Something about this girl gave me a bad vibe. I took a VIP pass I kept in my pocket and handed it to her. “Now you do.” I smiled at her. her cheeks showed a little color before she mumbled “Thank you.” The security guard came to her.
“Go chillax in the VIP room.” I smiled at her and she gave me a half smile. We did the rest of the signings, fans handing us their possessions to sign and some fans handed me their razors or thank you letter. Today was a pretty good day. Nothing to intense happened and I couldn’t wait to go to the VIP lounge and talk to Sarah. With 10+ people on our bus, only one other being a girl, I needed to have some girl time. After two hours, the signing was done and we are heading to the lounge. I look and I see Sarah sitting on a couch by herself. I run up to our Dj.
“Hey, do me a favor and play Beam Me Up.” He nods and the track plays. I go and grab Alex and Jack.
“Dude, it’s a girl name Sarah,” I point to her. “She needs cheering up.”
They all nod and call over Vic and Jaime. I call my brother, Beau, and some others. We crowd over to Sarah and I grab her arm and snatch her. Everyone starts dancing and pouncing around. Jack attempts to twerk on her and I see a smile appear on Sarah’s face. We grab the other kids and we have a dance circle in the middle of the tent. Cameras appear and record us. We bring out paint and paint each other. Miley paints me and Sarah’s faces with at whiskers and takes a photo with her and Sarah’s phone. Vic kisses me cheek as a reporter films us. David and Beau throw paint balloons at us and Jaime kisses Sarah on the face. We all jump up and down shaking our hair and drinking. Sarah’s 17, but yet she drinks anyway. We’re shaking our faces in the camera and having a goodtime. Someone brings out probe lights and turn down the lights. BMTH came and Matt comes over to me and we dance like crazy. He quickly down’s a small bottle of vodka.
“Remember what you said about getting shitfaced drunk, yeah?” he asks.
“Yeah!”
“Well, it’s time!” for about five minutes, we down the bottle of alcohol, laughing at our friends and being the drunk idiots we were. I soon tumble my way to my brother. A reporter comes up to me and David and starts questioning us.
“So, how is Warped?” the lady asks.
“Fucking amazing!” my brother yells. We leave the reporter behind and dance like crazy. I haven’t felt this close to my brother, since, I don’t know. I look and I see a very tall figure coming my way and a short figure next to him.
“Mike! Kellin!” I couldn’t stop smiling, especially when Ryan bought out weed and almost everyone, except for Kellin, Alex, and Jack, took a smoke followed by some whisky. I piggy backed on Mike’s back and ran around the longue like idiots. Miley was grinding on some random girl and Max was making out with some random girl. Tony came running in with a Darth Vader mask on and someone, who I think was Jesse, came in with a horse mask. Alex and Sarah attempt to get everyone to do the wave and after my sixth shot, I don’t remember much

Notes