Katelynne walked up to the front door, Copeland on her hip and her key in her hand, to unlock the house. She pushed the door open and held it there. She smiled kindly back toward Rowan, who she'd met two days ago in the hospital, and tried to help her feel welcome. "C'mon in, Rowan."

She nodded, stepping carefully into the house, followed by Kellin who carried her backpack and board even though she'd tried to tug them from him. It was hard to argue with someone when you refused to speak. And Rowan was doing just that, she hadn't spoken a single word since she'd woken up. She also refused to explain her silence. She'd written on a note pad to communicate with the social worker who'd visited the day before. She'd told the worker about the abuse in her household, with promises to at some point be able to get a restraining order against her mother's now-ex-boyfriend, Scott. She'd expressed her desire to have Kellin and Katelynne be her foster parents as well, and promised to take part in the outpatient rehab for her self-harm and eating disorders. There were a few rules that had to be taken on in order for her to be allowed to leave the hospital as quickly as she could: no locks on any doors in her new home, no sharp objects within her reach, no being left alone in the house, no door at all to her bedroom(which was just the guest room that happened to be fairly large and plenty comfortable), a set meal schedule and menu, bi-weekly therapy sessions, frequent reports from her foster parents, etc...

All of these rules were applicable until otherwise stated by her new, personal social worker and therapist. Rowan had been told little about Kellin and Katelynne but they had sat down with her the night before and tried to explain a little about themselves and the life she was coming into. She was told that Kellin made music in a more serious and professional matter than she'd originally understood, also that he worked and co-owned a clothing line, that his band mates were often around the house and that his job demanded he traveled frequently. She was told about how they met, the fact that Katelynne had two other sons (one of whom was also named Rowan) who'd been living with their birth father after a long and grueling court case months before though she and Kellin still retained visiting rights, she was told about their wedding, about how Kate's parents had been living with them to help them through the chemo but decided to give the newly bonding family space by returning to their own home. Of course, they also told Rowan all about Copeland, her new foster sister who seemed to be the only person that could make Rowan even hint at a true smile anymore. She'd nodded along and texted them questions and comments in place of speaking, and tried to remain a polite audience though she'd truly just wanted to sleep. That seemed to be all she wanted to do anymore, sleep.

She allowed Kellin to lead her into her room while Katelynne went to prepare dinner for the family using the menu given to them by the outpatient program. The room was plain but painted in earth tones, which made it feel warmer than any bland, sterile hospital room she'd encountered. The house was homey, but very modern, opposite to the old, corroding Victorian home she and her mother had been abandoned in by her father. She felt out of place here, it was too nice and she felt as though she were constantly in the way, though Kate and Kell tried hard to constantly reassure her that she was welcome here. Kellin sat her bag on the bed and left her board propped against the wall next to the bedside table. She tried to smile but her face felt numb, so she settled for nodding at him and sitting beside her bag on the bed. She waited for him to leave, with promise of discussing 'a few things' at dinner (which was undisputedly to occur at 5:30PM), before sticking her hand into her bag, in search of only one thing. She rooted around in the bottom of the bag but couldn't find anything close to her metal friends. She groaned in frustration and slammed the bag to the floor. She decided to start searching the room but was unable to find one single sharp corner or object to help her in her quest. She didn't want to scare the Quinn's but she was determined to just get a bit of her pain out. They'd cut her nails down to nubs in the hospital, making them useless. She couldn't manage to find a single thing! She was on her hands and knees, running her hand under her bed to see if there was a loose screw in her bed frame. She felt something slide over her finger before there was a tugging sting. Ah ha. She'd found it. She drew her hand out to see blood trickling from her finger. She quickly licked it up so that it didn't stain anything and give her away. She dove her hand back under to find it but was interrupted by a knocking. She turned to see Kellin knocking on the door frame, possibly doing so to offer her a false sense of privacy, and wearing a puzzled expression. She felt the screw fall into her palm and gripped it tight, enjoying the feeling of iron digging into her skin, and pulled her hand to be tucked behind her back. She sat up, using her free hand to push her hair out of her eyes.

"Rowan, what's going on?" He stepped into the room and stuffed the things strewn around into her bag and placing it all back onto the bed. She didn't answer, only leaned back to sit on her feet which were folded beneath her, and looked back at him with what she hopped was a flat expression. He sighed, knowing he wouldn't get an answer, and offered a hand to help her up. She looked at it, panicked, and shook her head. "C'mon, it's dinner time, lets go, Ro."

She shoved her closed fists into her hoodie, dropped the screw in her pocket, and then took his outstretched palm with her uninjured one. He gave her a half-hearted smile and tugged her to her feet. She leaned into him, not exactly hugging him, but he slung his arm around her shoulder and pulled her a bit closer in a semi-hug. She pointed to the guest bathroom and mimed washing her hands, he nodded.

"Just come on out to the table when you're done okay?" She nodded right back.

He headed on to dinner and she darted into the bathroom. The door was nonexistent but she didn't exactly care. She just turned on the water as hot as it would go, waited for it to release steam, and then stuck her sliced up hand beneath it. She sighed deeply, reveling in the white-hot pain. She waited until her skin was nearly blistered and the water was no longer pink, only clear, and pulled it out. She placed it quickly against the icy-cold stainless steel of the temperature knobs, watching fog collect around the edges due to the heat waves rolling off her skin. She was well done with her torture and decided to hurry off before they came looking for her. She stuffed her raw hands into her pockets, lightly running her fingers over the screw as she walked. She wasn't doing this to deliberately disobey her foster family, she was incredibly grateful that Kellin and Katelynne opened their home to someone so damaged, still her issues were deep-rooted and she felt insanely undeserving of their kindness. She needed a little release. She wouldn't let them find out because she didn't want to hurt them but she needed it, it was an addiction and she could often experience symptoms close to withdraw when deprived of her habits.

She felt guilty, no doubt, but she swallowed it so as to focus on the task at hand: avoid eating while under a magnifying glass. This would be tricky, but not impossible... There were a few tricks Rowan knew she could try. She reached the dining area, quite formal, and was met with the wafting scent of her first meal in this family. It was a high-calorie, slow-digesting concoction containing butternut squash soup, spaghetti, sauce, meatballs, garlic bread, grilled herb chicken, various veggies, and a non-optional brownie for desert. She felt another wave of guilt as she realized they must've had to shop specifically for her, for things she wasn't even going to eat in the end, it made her stomach twist. She hated herself in that moment, walking into the room to see Kellin grinning at her as he placed glasses filled with ice at each setting while Katelynne set Copeland in her high chair before continuing her runs in and out of the kitchen with platefuls of delicious smelling food to set on the table. Rowan was almost shaking she was so terrified, the prospect of shoving any of that food in her mouth was horrible, matched only by the looks of happy hospitality on her foster parents' faces that she could picture morphing into expressions of pain and disappointment if they knew what she was planning. She was scared of the idea of a family... A doting and loving mother, caring and protective father, a lovely and impressionable little sister.... It was once her wildest dream, now her reality, and yet also her worst nightmare. The more people she attached herself to the harder it'd be to finish her job: end it all. She'd have a harder time doing what she knew she had to do, plus the fact that her foster family's feelings might get caught and damaged in the crosshairs of her wicked addictions. She had to do this before it was too late, but... could she do it? She didn't like to imagine that she felt weak but what else could she call this feeling? She was unfamiliar with this very strange desire... It was the desire to see what happened next, not to miss it by killing herself. Maybe it was simply her curiosity but whatever it was it made her want to put off her death date just a bit longer... just to see what would come of this new lifestyle. She put those thoughts back and focused on the fact that she needed to do this... She was a burden on the Quinn's and she knew it.

She shook her head a bit, trying to clear her thoughts, and followed Kellin into the kitchen. He picked up the plates and turned back toward the dining room but she stopped him, tugging on the sleeve of his tee shirt to catch his attention. He stopped and looked down at her with a tight smile, clearly as nervous about this as she was which she couldn't deny was a relief to her. She pointed at the silverware on the countertop.

"Don't worry about it, Ro, I'm coming back for it. You just go take your seat." He grinned a bit more genuinely as he saw her roll her eyes in that sarcastic, oh-so-Rowan way. She ignored him and scooped the silverware and napkins into her hands, following him again into the dining room. As they crossed the threshold she was met yet again with the thick scent of her crafted meal and heard her stomach growl loudly without her permission. Her pale cheeks heated up, but Kellin just laughed a bit and gave her a wink while placing the plates down. Rowan trailed after him, mindlessly setting the table without much thought to her actions. Scott had been the most strict 'parent' she'd ever encountered when it came to mealtime, maybe that was where her eating issues began. She'd been a skinny child simply because she chose not to eat much growing up so that she didn't have to sit at the dinner table with her asshole 'father figure' and blank mother any more than was necessary. Either way she'd grown up with table-manners engrained into her like the branding from a hot iron, she knew without a second thought just how to place the utensils and decorations. As they finished Katelynne came in once again with Copeland's pink plate already served and placed it on the tray of the high chair, fastening a bib around her daughter's neck as well. She sat at one side, Copeland to her right and an empty seat to her left and straight across. Kellin sat across from his wife, leaving one vacant chair for Rowan that was across from Cope. Kellin smiled at Rowan reassuringly as the latter settled into her chair.

Rowan quickly placed the napkin in her lap, laying her hands atop it, folded. She looked back up to them and waited, making sure her back was straight and both of her feet touched the floor below. She'd always hated using proper etiquette for the sake of pleasing Scott and her mother but she did so tonight out of respect for her new family and the efforts they were making on her behalf. Also she did these things to attempt to assuage a bit of the immense guilt she felt bubbling in her otherwise unoccupied stomach. She was waiting for Kellin, the male of the house, to take to serving himself first, followed by Katelynne, so that she could put the mess on her own plate. Kellin just raised an eyebrow at her.

"Go ahead, Ro, dig in." He shrugged, as if it were just that simple. She didn't agree. Not only was she confused by the lack of formality but she was also petrified by the idea that this meal had been specifically designed to make her feel full, stay feeling full, and gain weight. She shook her head, waving for them to go on ahead. Kellin wasn't easily fooled. He grabbed the pasta bowl and gave himself a full serving but instead of passing it to his wife he scooped up another spoonful which he then dumped on Rowan's once clean plate. He passed that off to Kate and lifted up the sauce, once again giving himself a spoonful and then giving another for Rowan and handing it off the Katelynne. This continued until all three plates were chockfull of heavy, messy, fattening food.

Rowan pulled her hair around to use as a bit of a curtain before lifting up a forkful of pasta to her lips. She ran it along her lips, licked them to get the taste and make it appear she was eating, before artfully dumping the spaghetti down her sleeve. She did this again and again, still keeping her eyes downcast and her back stiff. Kellin glanced up from his plate to see Rowan shrouded by a thick shield of chocolate curls, he'd been warned in private that girls struggling with self-harming problems could be crafty, he also couldn't tell based on how she was hiding if she was crying or not which worried him further. He swallowed his mouthful of soup before reaching across to his new foster-daughter. He gingerly tucked the majority of her hair behind her ear, revealing her face to be tear-streaked and flushed, she was embarrassed of something, she was crying. Kellin looked to his wife quickly, desperately wanting to know how to help Rowan, but finding that Kate had stepped into the kitchen again. He sighed, "Ro, what's wrong?" She just shook her head, keeping her eyes glued to the napkin placed on her lap. "C'mon, Ro, how can I help if you don't tell me what's up?" She froze for a second and Kellin waited to hear her finally speak... But nothing came. However she did look up, meeting his eyes for a second before pointing to her plate. "I'm sorry, Rowan, but I can't do anything about that... You've got to eat it."

She switched her questioning gaze into a cold stare like she'd flipped a switch. She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed, snapping her look back to her lap. Something caught Kellin's eye though, her sleeve was red! Had she cut again? But that was impossible, she had nothing to use and had been with his family all day. Right? Still he reached across, just as Kate sat down again, and grabbed Rowan's hands to uncross them. Rowan gave him a look that was a mix between shock, confusion, and dread. She tried to pull away but he kept a firm hold of her hands.

"Rowan, what's on your arm?" he asked, trying to main as calm as he could but barely being able to cover up the panic he was clearly experiencing. She didn't answer but her eyes suddenly became very flat, deadened, as if she were just a plastic figure with no life inside. She stopped fighting him but he still couldn't tell what the damage to her arm was. "Please remove your hoodie, Rowan." She shook her head and he sighed, "I'm not taking no for an answer, Ro. Either you take it off yourself or I have Katelynne help me do it." He knew he sounded harsh, but what else could he do? He had to know these things, he wanted to know if she wasn't as okay as she sometimes seemed. This was what it meant to be a parent to a teenager, he figured. A damaged teenager who was unlike any other he'd ever met, granted, but a teenager nevertheless. She didn't move for a second but just as he started to ask for Katelynne's assistance he saw something flicker in Rowan's eyes. Then, all at once, her eyes weren't dead, but alight with a kind of pain Kellin didn't realize was possible. He reached out, dropping her clean arm, to brush away the rebel tears that pushed from her tear ducts but stopped as he saw her duck away. She'd flinched away from him. Oh God. "Rowan, Ro... No no no. I didn't mean to scare you–" He was tripping over his own words, shooting up from his chair and moving to crouch beside hers, still holding her reddened hand. She flinched again but then opened her eyes a bit more, staring at Kellin with wide and desperate blue orbs. "Hey, hey..." He now moved extra-slowly, reaching up wile looking her dead in the eyes, to softly wipe away one tear. She didn't flinch, so he moved to wipe away another, and another, until her eyes had no more tears to shed. Her shoulders were trembling with suppressed sobs as he finally refocused his attention. She could see what he wanted and knew that there was no more way around it. She moved as slowly as she could, unzipping her hoodie and shrugging it off her shoulders, lastly dragging her hands out the sleeves. She heard a light gasp and turn to see Katelynne staring at her exposed, destroyed skin with horror. Kate's eyes were glossy with tears and her mouth was hanging open a bit, Rowan was suddenly painfully self-conscious, realizing this was the first time her foster mother had ever seen her skin. Rowan couldn't stand to watch Katelynne any longer and tore her eyes away, instead focusing on Kellin, the latter of whom was holding Rowan's cut, raw, blistered arm that was also dripping in a mixture of pasta sauce and soup, making an orange-y mush. She tried not to assess his response, scared of what she would find, but instead watched his hands. One was holding her arm face-up, the other was trailing carefully over the deep slice in her palm. She finally forced herself to examine his reaction. She couldn't find any expression on his face, instead Kellin was wearing a carefully cultivated mask. She couldn't find anything in her history that mildly related to having a father figure see her so plainly and still care for her, all her experience was screaming at her that this was the end. She'd fucked up again and had now doomed herself to be shipped off to what would most likely be yet another abused life. She felt her breath become more thin, not satisfying her need for air, and making her gasp for the desired oxygen. He looked up at her, still mainly blank, and dropped her hand. Just as she was sure he'd walk away he put his hands beneath her armpits, lifting her off her chair, sat himself in her place and her atop his lap. She was scared and confused but stayed frozen. This was Kellin, she reminded herself. Still she couldn't shake her fear. She forced herself to move, tucking her arms tightly to her chest, and then suddenly she found herself burying her face into Kellin's shirt. She wasn't sure when she'd decided to do that but she just enjoyed the feeling of comfort she felt fill her up as Kellin's arms wrapped around the destroyed flesh of her shoulders. She cuddled into his embrace, letting her tears fall freely. Kellin pushed her hair back rhythmically, calming her. Katelynne mouthed something to Kellin that Rowan didn't catch before stepping out of the room. She returned a moment later to find the same despairing sight she'd left: her husband's arms wrapped carefully around the small, broken child who wept into his chest while she curled herself into a tight ball atop his lap. It was a heartbreaking sight and she wanted nothing more than to dive in, wrap her own arms around Rowan, and protect her from the harsh life she'd been handed with all of her strength. She sat down the objects she'd grabbed (a bottle of peroxide, gauze and bandages, a cool wet hand towel, and one of Kellin's worn-in Anthem shirts) onto the table and knelt beside Kellin. She waited for Rowan to wipe her uninjured hand across her face and pull away from Kellin's chest a bit before she caught the little girl's gaze. She looked Rowan in the eyes as she held out her hand to the girl.

"Would you like to go get cleaned up?" Rowan looked at her foster mother, not feeling used to having a maternal influence, for a moment before letting her eyes flicker quickly toward the remainder of her meal. Kellin's palm was rubbing reassuring circles into his foster daughter's back, but Katelynne caught Rowan's distraction. "Rowan, I understand that this won't be easy for you but we're here. We'll help you. But you will have to finish the meal. Still, I think it's best to let you relax for a minute first, right?"

Rowan didn't seem angry anymore, only resigned and tired. She sighed and nodded at Kate, accepting Katelynne's hand and letting her foster mother help her stand. She had a hard time walking away from Kellin for many reasons. One being that he looked sad, hurt, and on the verge of tears even as he smiled at her. Also because Katelynne was leading her down the hall, holding her clean hand and carrying various items, and Rowan wasn't sure what to expect from a woman such as her mother. She trusted that Katelynne would be different, after all Kellin was in love with her and Kellin was the first kind-hearted, genuinely loving man she'd ever encountered in her life. Still, chemo had changed her mother (not to say her mother was ever a maternal figure but she was at least a little more kind before her diagnosis) so Rowan was unsure what to expect of another woman who happened to be undergoing treatment. She stole one last glance to Kellin, who had now moved over to help Copeland eat, before she turned her focus to Katelynne. If there was one thing that growing up abused had taught Rowan it was to keep your eyes on those you didn't yet trust at all times... Rowan didn't not trust Katelynne but she was still getting to know her and was remaining cautious.

Katelynne led them into the en-suite guest bathroom. She started up a bath, after dropping Rowan's hand, and while it was running she spread the items she'd been carrying out on the counter. Rowan hung back by the door, watching as Katelynne worked. It was clear that Kate was a good mother, she moved with care and precision, setting a pile of folded clothes next to a fluffy towel. Next she got out a few cotton balls which she placed beside a bottle of peroxide and Neosporin and a small, wet towel. She shut off the tap and turned back to Rowan.

"Mind sitting up on the counter really quick?" Rowan shook her head and moved toward Kate. She sat on the counter, careful not to put much pressure on her re-opened wounds in her palm. Katelynne wiped her arm off with the wet towel before dousing a cotton ball with the peroxide. She looked back up to Rowan, "This may sting, okay?" Rowan nodded, already knowing how this felt as she'd experienced various levels of this throughout her life. She clenched her teeth as Katelynne cleaned her hand, watching as the pure as snow cotton was tainted with her bloody imperfections. Katelynne finished as quick as she could, putting on the ointment and wrapping the wound cautiously. Finally she met Rowan's wide eyes again. "You can't use this hand... would you like me to help you bathe?" Rowan almost snapped she was so scared, but she forced herself to keep it under control. This was her new mother, in more than ways than one this was the first time Rowan had ever been 'mothered' in her life, so she had to trust. She nodded a tiny bit and Katelynne smiled.

She helped her foster daughter down from the counter and let her strip herself. She filled the tub with bubbles meanwhile and then helped Rowan in. She made sure Rowan's wrapped hand stayed dry and bathed her, careful not to put weight on Rowan's yellowing bruises and slowly healing battle scars. Rowan occasionally squinted her eyes or bit her lip to stifle a squeal of pain but eventually they got through it. Katelynne unfolded the towel as Rowan stood up but before she wrapped it around her daughter's shoulders she caught sight of yet more disturbing scars. Katelynne tried hard to ignore the carvings but she'd seen flashes of words like 'disgusting' and 'fat' and 'hideous', not to mention others... words that no child should even be exposed to at all much less have permanently etched into their skin. Rowan's cheeks were tinged pink when Kate got her wrapped up, obviously in embarrassment of having to have such things on her body. She kept her eyes away from Katelynne's.

"I'll let you get dressed, alright?" Rowan nodded, letting Katelynne slip out of the room and into the attached bedroom. It didn't do much seeing as there was no door and she'd already seen all of Rowan there was to see but it was a nice thought, and it comforted Rowan to know that Katelynne was making such an effort. She struggled a bit to open the new pack of underwear her foster mother had obviously bought for her but she managed, followed by a stinging in her hand as she pulled on the t-shirt which fell almost to Rowan's knees. It was perfect in weight though, seeing as the house was a little on the warm side, but it exposed much more skin than Rowan was used to showing which made her nervous. It was as if a wave of stage fright overtook her as she prepared herself to go back to Katelynne. It was silly, she reminded herself, since the woman had already bathed her and therefore wouldn't be seeing her for the first time. Still she felt butterflies in her empty stomach as she walked back out to find Katelynne sitting at the foot of the guest bed-- Rowan's bed. Katelynne smiled, something Rowan noticed she did often, and patted the spot beside her. Rowan sat and let Kate untangle her wild curly locks.

Rowan couldn't remember if she'd ever had someone else do this much for her. She was so unaccustomed to letting others help her after the way she'd been brought up that she found every small kindness fascinating. For example, Rowan decided she'd never felt anything more loving than the way that Katelynne ran her fingers through her hair after she'd combed it out, scrunching up handfuls of her tresses to help it dry even more curly than it already did. Katelynne hesitated a moment, looking at the relaxed set of Rowan's shoulders before leaning down and planting a soft kiss to the top of her new daughter's damp hair. Rowan froze for a moment, not at all used to such a maternal gesture, but then calmed down as she realized she might just need to get used to things like that seeing as that seemed to be the kind of mother Katelynne was. As long as Rowan didn't screw up again, that is. She chastised herself for her stupidity, she should be enjoying these days of love and comfort before the Quinn's realized just how fucked up she was and send her back, not spend them brooding in her room over a rusty nail and a puddle of her own blood. Katelynne stood up, once again offering her hand to Rowan. The latter didn't pause nearly as long this time before taking the offer and following her back toward the dining room. Kellin and Copeland weren't there and the table was cleared. Rowan was confused but sat where Katelynne pointed and waited in the empty room after the woman ducked back into the kitchen.
Kellin reappeared a moment later, Cope no where to be seen, and sat in his original seat, smiling at Rowan. Rowan just tugged some of her hair into her eyes, folding her bare arms over her chest and hoping Kellin wouldn't stare at her scars too hard. She looked back up to see him watching Katelynne, who was bringing in a fresh plate of food. Rowan's stomach growled again but it also turned a bit, nerves. She threw a panicked look at Kellin but he only smiled encouragingly at her. The plate was placed before her, steaming and emitting a mouthwatering aroma. Rowan looked to Katelynne who was sitting in her old seat as well, but Kate just nodded at her.

Rowan took a deep breath and lifted the fork. She spun some pasta onto it but couldn't force herself to eat it. She just brought it close to her and stared at it, as if waiting for it to reach out and grab her. Maybe it was all the attention that was making it difficult. She wanted to tell her foster parents to stop looking at her but her voice was still nowhere to be found. She looked up to Kellin, opening her mouth and trying to speak but not being able to spit a single syllable out. Kellin looked as if he was trying to understand but was confused. Rowan sighed, it was impossible. Somehow he must have sensed exactly what was wrong, though, because out of nowhere he spoke to Katelynne.

"So, I put Cope to bed. She ate her whole meal and all, even pulled a bit of my hair when I tried to take away her plate. Then I tried to sing to her and she wasn't amused... to put it nicely. Anyway...." Rowan let his mindless chatter fade out, grateful for the sense of privacy even though she could still feel his eyes flicker to her often. She wanted him to know how hard she was trying so she pushed all her hair behind her back and put her hands on her lap, where they could clearly be seen, showing that she wasn't going to try anything.

She took in a deep breath and began, taking a sip of water to start. She then brought one spoonful of soup to her lips slowly, licking the edge a bit to find that it tasted as great as it'd smelt. She closed her eyes and focused on the sound of Kellin's voice as he babbled. She didn't hear a word of what he said, only paying attention to his pitch and rhythm of speaking, trying hard to distract herself. She swallowed and felt herself tense at the feeling of the thick calories sliding down her throat. She chugged some water, trying to get rid of the feeling, but it was still there. So this must just be part of eating like this, she figured. She took two more spoons of soup before she began to feel full. It was a sickening feeling, forcing the third bit of soup into her mouth. She gagged a bit, feeling as if she'd be sick with how full it made her, but forced it down. She decided maybe it was just the soup itself that was the problem and tried instead some of the vegetables. One stem of broccoli was all it took to make her sure of just how stuffed she was. She put down the fork, drinking some water and trying hard to choke back the bile rising in her throat. She saw Kellin's eyes snap to her. She caught them for a second before she knew she wouldn't last. She shot straight out of her chair and ran to her room, tripping over herself to reach the toilet. She made it just in time, churning up all of what she'd choked down.

She heard footsteps close behind her and just as she leaned back from the bowl she felt two presences at the door. She was too exhausted to turn her head but it didn't matter, she already knew who was there. She leaned against the bath tub, letting the cool tile press against her hot face. She heard Kellin murmur something to his wife and Katelynne stepped away from the room, leaving Kellin to come toward Rowan. He wet a wash rag with icy water and came to sit beside her. He handed her the rag, which she pressed to her forehead, and resumed rubbing circles on her sharp spine between her prominent shoulder blades. She had pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her skinny arms around them. Kellin felt her shake with wracking sobs beneath his hand and couldn't help but feel choked up a well. He leaned over, flushed the toilet, and then picked Rowan up. He let her wrap her legs around his waist and bury her head into the crook at the base of his neck while he flipped off the bathroom light. He made it to her bed and laid her down carefully. As he sat beside her he saw that her eyes were wide and pleading, desperate to feel better.

"I know, Ro. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry this isn't easy." He twisted her damp hair away from her face, trying to help her cool down as best he could. "I'm so sorry..."

She shook her head, furrowing her eyebrows. She pointed to herself. He got it, she meant she was sorry. Now it was Kellin's turn to shake his head.

"I know you're trying, Rowan. That's all that matters. You have no reason to be sorry, okay?" She didn't really agree but instead just did something she'd never done before. She reached out her palm toward him. He didn't even pause for a second before placing his own hand on hers, letting her squeeze his tightly. She patted the bed beside her and he understood again, moving to lay next to her on the large bed. She, still holding his hand, laid her head on his chest lightly. He brushed away the curls around her face and neck, yet again exposing her scars and bruises. His heart twisted painfully at the sight of vulnerability Rowan wore, knowing it wasn't something she was comfortable being, she preferred to be the tough one... less pain that way in her opinion. Yet tonight she knew she was weak, and she didn't fight it.

Katelynne reappeared at the door, "The clinic says to try again at breakfast with a smaller portion next time." She smiled, coming over to sit beside her husband on the bed. Rowan looked up toward her through her thick lashes and it was clear she was trying to say something but couldn't. "It's all going to be alright, Rowan. Don't you worry for one minute."

Rowan couldn't imagine such a world, one where things worked out in her favor and she didn't spend her every waking moment in terror but she liked the idea of it nevertheless. She nodded toward Kate and buried her face back into Kellin's pajama shirt. She felt so out of place, like an alien in this strange but lovely household, but she liked it. She felt so... protected here. Like nothing could hurt her. She promised herself she would enjoy it before it was gone, which based on the luck she'd had in her life she knew it was inevitable that it'd be taken away. Still, she wouldn't let herself miss a second of it in the meantime. She felt Katelynne's weight lift from the mattress and saw her leave again. Kellin stayed, though, for which Rowan was grateful. He was humming again, his chest vibrating with the sound. She didn't know the song but wished she did, it was soft the way he hummed it and reminded her vaguely of the lullaby her mother had only ever sung to her once, it'd been something of raw love and care and had often gotten Rowan through the nights when she was sure her mother would kill her. Tonight was even more special, she couldn't put her finger on one particular reason why, but enjoyed it anyway. His voice began to filter into the dimly lit room as well, singing softly.

'I can save you
if you ask me, just ask me to.
There's hope for you tonight.
I can save you
if you ask me, just ask me to.
I can save your life.'

Rowan felt her heart speed up, the lyrics resonating with her so intensely. But she fought against the urge to run, run from the man who could see her so plainly and run from this odd sense of security that she was terrified to feel. Instead she focused on listening to him, his every word and every breath, trying to distance herself safely as she knew she should but feeling unable to even want to separate from him.

'I saw you move from across the room,
I knew who you were.
You act like you are afraid of who you are,
I'm afraid for you.
Try, trust and believe in me.
I can show you that there's so much more.
There's still hope for you.
Let me show you I can save you.'

There was the softest tremor in his voice that alerted Rowan to the fact that she wasn't the only one who took those words he sang so to heart. He pushed through it, only letting his voice crack once with his emotion, wanting to let her know just how much he wanted to rescue her, though he couldn't seem to find the words to say he'd managed to find the ones to sing.

'I can save you
if you ask me, just ask me to.
There's hope for you tonight.
I can save you
if you ask me, just ask me to.
I can save your life.'

Kellin kept up the rhythmic pattern of playing with her hair and occasionally rubbing her back lightly, neither of them acknowledging the fact they could tell their companion was crying nor that they needed this moment together more then either of them could voice.

'One day you'll open your eyes, take a look inside
I just saved your life.
Just take a look inside,
I hope you know what it's like for you to be alright.
I am for you.'

Rowan tried to fight it but she couldn't, the emotions were too strong. She just gave in, letting her shoulders shake with her sobs, choking on her tears into Kellin's shirt. He didn't stop singing, another thing for which she was grateful, but he did sit up a bit and wrap his arms more securely around her, letting her tuck her face into the crook at the base of his neck.

'Don't give up just believe I will be right there,
when your hopes and your dreams are on the line.
Don't give up just believe I'll be right by your side,
when your hopes and your dreams are on the line.'

He'd written this song long ago and preformed it plenty of times but it felt so different now. His face was coated in his own tears, his chest soaked with Rowan's. Neither one could stop crying nor did they want to, this was their moment. They needed it. So much had changed for the both of them in a matter of days and they'd not been allowed to process it, this was their moment to just feel it. They felt pain, joy, fear, anger, hurt, terror, contentedness, hatred... love. All at once, it faded into white noise and they only felt together. And in that moment they felt safe, no longer alone in at least one way, though they still held their own wounds that only time could heal.

'I can save you
if you ask me, just ask me to.
There's hope for you tonight.
I can save you
if you ask me, just ask me to.
I can save your life.'

Rowan tightened her arms around him so tightly she felt a few of her freshest wounds reopen, still she ignored it and focused on pouring all of her care and pain and gratefulness into that hug. Kellin squeezed her right back, unintentionally applying pressure to her various cuts and bruises, but neither seemed to take much notice. They knew this wouldn't be easy, they knew this was only the beginning, but they were also ready. That hug, that song, that meal, it all felt like they were suiting up in battle gear. Together they would face this, head on. Together they would make it out of it alive.
Rowan took a deep, shuddering breath, pulling back from Kellin enough to look him dead in the eyes. She could see how much he meant it, every word he'd sung, he'd meant it. "Alright."

"Alright?" Kellin asked, not able to stop the grin he felt tugging at the corner of his lips at hearing her voice once again.

"Alright, I'm asking." She couldn't find a better way to say it, her mind was so jumbled, but she just stared into his eyes and begged him to understand.

"Alright, I'll do it." He pulled her back to his chest, no more words were needed. He knew what she was asking. She knew she needed to be saved and she knew he'd do it, that he'd never give up on her. He hugged her close, wanting her to know that he planned on being there for her.

"I'm..." She began, her voice muffled against the damp cloth of his tear-stained tee-shirt. She pulled back an inch, still hugging Kellin but making sure she was heard, "I'm sorry."

"Never be sorry on my account." He told her, feeling her almost laugh with relief to know she wasn't being kicked out but welcomed in instead. She was smiling at all, though, and that was what mattered most to Kellin. "Sleep, Ro."

She nodded, curling into a ball on the bed. She closed her eyes and felt Kellin tug the blanket up to warm he before dropping a kiss on her wet hair and brushing away the remainder of her tear-tracks. She smiled just slightly and cuddled into her pillow, feeling Kellin's weight lift from the bed and the lamp by her flip off. He got to the door and she watched his silhouette in the dark, him leaning against the bare doorframe leading to the hallway.

"Goodnight, Rowan."

"Night, Tatt." His chuckle was genuine and gave Rowan the ability to release her own small giggle. He turned to go and she sighed in the silence left behind, preparing herself for what lay ahead. She wasn't sure what that would be but she was sure that she wouldn't face it alone and that was more than she could've dreamed of in her wildest imagination.

Notes

Shoutout to:
bandsaremylife

also, this entire chapter is dedicated to her(?) because she(?) has been supportive of this story since the beginning!! Much much love to you:)

To all those just joining us: WELCOME!

Hope you enjoyed this one, it's one of my favorites so far :D I love this song, In Case of Emergency, Dial 411, and I've always envisioned it as a strong bond between Rowan and Kellin, it just fits them so well.

Much love,
MatiMarie.