I felt like I was drowning when I woke up. I was choking on something that felt like plastic lodged in my throat.

“Mrs Carlile, calm down try and breathe around the tube.” I took the nurse’s advice and breathed around the plastic in my throat and soon enough she took it away and I was breathing on my own again. My whole body ached and I felt like one big giant bruise. I couldn’t believe this happened to me just because I married Austin.

“Taylor? Are you awake?” I heard a coffee cup smash on the floor and I turned my head just in time to see Austin running towards the bed. He gently hugged me and I heard the sobs coming from his lanky body. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. He smelt.

“You smell.” I laughed at him as he looked down at me, his smile lighting up his entire face.

“I haven’t left you since you came in here.”

“How long have I been in here?” I asked as I tried to sit up. Austin had to help me and I winced at my stomach cramped angrily at me. It was then I remembered the baby.

“Four days. You’ve been unconscious for. The doctor was waiting for you to wake up before he could find out about the baby.”

“Okay…” I trailed off as a doctor walked into the room. He was holding a device that looked really painful and I frowned at him.

“This is a vaginal ultrasound. Since you’re only seven weeks pregnant then we need to do it this way.” The doctor explained as he helped my legs up into stirrups and done what he had to do, when he looked up at me I knew what had happened.

“It seems the electric shock that your body took killed your baby. I’m so sorry Mr and Mrs Carlile but you’ve had a miscarriage.” The doctor left us then and I turned to look at Austin for the first time since the announcement. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he looked like he was trying to calm down.

“Fucking hell! What the fuck?” He screamed as he stood of the comfortable chair. He smashed his hand into the brick wall and I had trouble holding in my tears as he got angry at everything he could. Tears were running down his cheeks and onto his t shirt as he smashed around and screamed. I allowed him to get angry until the security guards came into the room.

“Our baby.” He sobbed as he fell to his knees and held his head in his hands. His whole body was lurching with his cries and I felt bad because I couldn’t get out of the bed to comfort him.

“Austin…” I whispered to him. His head immediately snapped up and he crawled into the bed with me, mindful of the tubes and wrapped me in his arms. I could feel his tears on my head and I kissed his chest gently as I rubbed his stomach.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. Right?” Austin murmured in my ear and I smiled up at him.
“Nothing is taking me away from you. Not even this. We’ll have another baby but we’ll never forget about this one.” I said to him and he nodded to me before bending down and smashing his lips against mine. I kissed him like my life depended on it. I kissed him with everything I had in my body.

“We’re sorry about the baby.” I broke away from Austin to see my parents and Austin’s dad in the doorway with Mia in his arms. Mia started crying when she couldn’t get to me immediately and I held my arms out for my daughter. She crawled onto my lap and hid her face in my neck as she cried.

“I’m okay, sweetie. I’m still here.” I kissed her forehead and smiled down at her. She reminded me so much of her father with her beautiful features and her gorgeous eyes.

“Daddy was scared. He prayed.” Mia whispered in my ear and I hugged her closer to my body. It was a very rare occurrence that Austin would pray but he did in dire situations and the only times I’d even seen him pray was the two times that I’d gone missing.

“Mommy doesn’t need to hear that Mia.” Austin smiled at her and I could see that he was hiding his sadness for her. He didn’t want her to get upset because I’d lost the baby. I stroked Mia’s blonde hair as she coloured in one of the colouring pages left by the nurses.

“When can I go home?”

“In two days. They need to check to see if you’re alright.” Austin said as I leant my head on his chest and nuzzled my nose in the dirty material of his shirt.

“I love you.”

“Promise?”

“With every beat of my broken heart.” It was then I noticed a true shine of happiness pop into his eyes. Yeah, we were going to be fine.

Notes

Title Cred: Panic! at the Disco.