I looked at myself in the mirror and the dress looked amazing. It made me look pale but I looked amazing. Austin walked into the lounge and he was dressed in tight, skinny jeans and a white t-shirt. I looked at him and saw that he had a blazer hanging over his arm and he looked at me.
"You look beautiful" he said with a weak smile. I smiled back.
"You don’t look bad either" I said and took one last look upon the mirror. Austin put on the blazer and he looked really good, and when he saw that I just stared at him he looked confused.
"What?" he asked.
"You look really good" I said and gently laid a hand on his chest and swept away some dust. He smiled and held out his arm and I leaned against it.
"Shall we go and bring some big surprises to the ERSA?" he asked.
"I’m not going to tell them, you know that?" I asked and looked at him.
"I wasn’t talking about the tumor Essie, I was talking about us" he said and smiled again. I looked at him and smiled.
"What are you going to say?" I asked.
"You’ll see" he said and I got curious. What was he planning?

The driver stopped outside and we saw that a lot of fans turned to see who was the next person to come. They all screamed and tried to reach for Austin when they saw that it was him, and they all just stared when he held out a hand and helped me out from the car. I saw Caspian and Elijah just ahead of us and they stared at me. Shocked and surprised. I smiled.
"What is your relationship?" someone asked and Austin looked at me with a sad smile. I looked at him and smiled, and I was just about to answer. We are just friends. When Austin opened his mouth and said something else.
"She’s the love of my life" he said, and we started to walk inside.

Caspian and Elijah came up to us when we got inside. They looked at me.
"You’ve lost some weight" Elijah said, and he looked a bit nervous.
"Yeah" I said and nodded. Caspian just looked at me.
"So you two are back together?" he asked, and glanced at Austin.
"I wouldn’t call it back together" I said and looked at Austin.
"I love you, I really do. But no, I guess we’re not really back together" he said, and I could see he was a bit hurt by my comment. But I pushed it away. Austin squeezed my hand and we continued inside and the Alex and Jack came.
"Hi again, nice to see you" Alex said and gave me a quick hug.
"God, you’ve lost some weight" Jack said and hugged me as well.
"Well I’ve been having some trouble eating lately" I said and smiled.
"I can see that" Jack chuckled. I felt that Austin got stiff and a bit irritated. I stroked his hand and he relaxed. I knew he just wanted to yell in their face. The truth and everything. But he couldn’t. I wouldn’t have him do that.
"I heard you’re singing a song tonight" Alex said and looked surprised.
"Yes I am, it will be the last one for a while" I said and nodded.
"A while? Are you going somewhere?" he asked, and furrowed his eyebrows. I smiled and I felt Austin stiff again.
"Yeah, you could say that" I said and stroked his hand again. Alex and Jack both looked at him and then they walked away. I turned to Austin.
"Please behave" I said.
"Behave? Do you know how hard this is?" he hissed, but I could see that he was just hurt and sad.
"And how do you think that I feel?" I asked. He looked at me and then he sighed, and he apologized. We greeted a few more before they told us that the awards would begin.

- - -

Austin’s POV

She smiled through the whole ERSA, and then it was finally time for her performance. She took a sip of water and just before she walked up on stage I leaned forward and kissed her, and wished her good luck. To be honest I was really, really nervous. I could see that Alan, Tino, Phil and Aaron was just as nervous as me. They all looked at her and Alan even bit on his nails.
"So Essie, you have been given the honors of doing a performance here on ERSA" the host said. She smiled and nodded.
"I am very honored to even have been asked" she said and giggled a little.
"A few months ago you got kicked from Semuncia, and I have to ask… What have you been doing since?" he asked.
"Well I’ve been here in London, working on this song and just tried to enjoy myself" she said and her smile got weak. But I guess only we in Mice noticed that.
"So you’ve been in London here all this time?" he asked, a bit surprised.
"Yes I have" she said and smiled again.
"But you and Austin are here together, as a couple?" he asked.
"We’re each others dates tonight, but we’re not a couple. I love him, I truly do. But we’re not back together" she said and looked at me. I smiled a little and mouthed a small "I love you".
"So does the famous Princess still have some power in her?" the host teased. Essie laughed and when she sang out a loud, and very powerful YES, the whole room cheered her on. Everybody gave her some applause as the host started to walk down from the stage. I smiled and looked at her. Her final performance. The End was going to be… What was going on?

Essie brought a hand to her neck and suddenly looked scared. Everyone just looked at her and wondered what was going on. I just stared as well before I got up from my chair. I stood there for a moment and just looked at her and saw that she coughed into her hand. She looked like she was in pain and when I saw the blood she had coughed out I hurried over to the stage. I could hear people whispering and wondering what was going on. Essie turned around and looked at me. Teared up and pale, and really scared. She coughed some more and there was a lot of blood coming out from her mouth. I caught her when she stumbled upon her own legs.
"I got you" I said and I could hear my own words in the speakers. She coughed some more and her dress was colored red. I knew what was happening. Her tumor had probably ruptured. I held her close and she coughed up blood on my tee, and she tried to push herself away.
"No, I’m not letting go" I said and once again my voice echoed. I turned around and looked at Alan and the others.
"Call for an ambulance, the tumor have probably ruptured" I said. I could hear a lot of people chatter around and I heard the word tumor everywhere. A lot for the people that knew her just stared. Essie’s legs failed her and she leaned all her bodyweight against me.
"Essie have a tumor on her vocal cord, she refused surgery and have never been addicted to drugs. It was painkillers to get the pain away" I said and I felt Essie grasping my tee. I looked down on her and all I could hear was a gurgle from her mouth. She was drowning in her own blood, and there was nothing I could do. I hugged her and my eyes burned.
"I love you so much" I said and the tears started to pour down my cheeks. She grasped my tee even tighter and she coughed out some more blood on my tee. I looked down on her pale, bloody face and I looked into her eyes. Never had they been so purple. Never had they sparkled like this.
"I love you more than anything" I said and I brought my lips to hers. I didn’t care about the iron taste from the blood. I didn’t care that her whole body trembled and she was getting colder and colder. I loved her and this was probably the last time I would ever get a chance to kiss her.
"I love you" I whispered and she raised her hand and softly laid it upon my cheek. She looked into my eyes and I knew she couldn’t say anything, but I knew exactly what she was saying.

I love you too.

Notes

this is not the final chapter, it will be more!