I was back in the States and my throat was getting worse, it was killing me because of the pain. The worst part was that I could barely talk and my voice was really hoarse.
"You should really go and see a doctor" Caspian said and gave me a glass of water.
"It’s okay, it’s just a cold" I said and started to cough.
"Rest your voice" Scott said.
"Should she really be singing tonight?" Aaron said.
"We’re going to try at least, but tomorrow you are going to go and see a doctor" Scott said and looked at me.
"Guys I’m…" I began but Scott held up his hand.
"You are going to go and see a doctor, end of story" he said.

Austin spent little time with me, and I could understand. He didn’t want to get sick as well. And I told him to stay away, but we always had lunch together. But I slept on my bus and he on his, and we only talked when we met.
"I hate not seeing you as much" he muttered when we had lunch.
"I know, but as soon as I get better I promise you I will stay like a sticker on you" I teased and smiled at him.
"You better" he said and chuckled.
"Scott told me to go and see a doctor tomorrow, so maybe I will get better" I said and my voice almost cracked.
"You better, if he hadn’t said anything I would have" he said and looked at me. I coughed and took a sip of my water. It hurt like hell but at least I stopped coughing.
"It can’t be that bad, I just have a simple cold" I said and shook my head.
"Don’t be so sure, hearing from your voice it might be worse" he said.
"It’s just a cold" I said and looked at him. He looked at me and then he shook his head. He wasn’t going to push it.
"Well drink some tea and get some rest, the show tonight will be a long one" he said and looked at me. I nodded and smiled.

I took one last cup of tea, had one last piss and took a deep breath. The tea had helped a little and I could now talk. At least a little bit more.
"You look nervous" Scott said.
"I’m scared I will lose my voice tonight" I said and shook my head. He smiled and said it would be okay.
"What do we do if that happens?" I asked.
"If that happen I will take over" Jaime said and looked inside our dressing room. I looked at him, no more like staring.
"You?" I asked.
"Yeah, if your voice disappears tonight I will take over" he said and smiled.
"Hopefully it will not" I said.
"I hope it will, it’s been some time since I got to sing" he winked.

I got up on stage and the crowd cheered. I held up my hands and gestured for them to be quite, and they listened.
"Guys, as you can hear I’m a bit… well I have a cold, and I might not be able to sing tonight. So if anything happens someone else will jump in for me, and I will keep it a secret who will, but I’m sure you’ll like it" I said and smiled. The crowd cheered and we begun. It felt like hell and a thousand knives when I sang and during our third song my voice disappeared completely. The crowd looked at me and I really tried to say something but I couldn’t even get a noise out. Jaime walked out on stage and took the microphone.
"Well it seems like Essie lost her voice, so I guess I have to continue from here" he said and looked at me. I smiled and stroked his arm, and he smiled. He continued the song and the crowd cheered. I walked off stage and I massaged my throbbing throat. It felt awful not being able to sing. To fail my fans.
"You okay?" Austin asked and looked at me. I tried to say something but nothing left my mouth. I sighed and shook my head.
"Go and get something to drink, some tea and get some rest. Tomorrow you are seeing a doctor" he said and pushed me backstage.

I was on our bus. I had my third cup of tea and my throat still felt like hell itself. the show must have been over because now Caspian and Elijah entered.
"You okay?" they asked, and I shook my head.
"Take some ibuprofen, some water and go to sleep. You’ll need it" Elijah said.

I had some of my voice back and I waited for the doctor to come and take a look at me. I was nervous. What if something really was wrong with me? The door opened and in came a man with grey hair and friendly eyes.
"Well Ms Mercedes, what is wrong with you?" he asked.
"I think I caught something" I said and my voice was really hoarse.
"I hear that, let me take a look" he said. I opened my mouth and he looked. He let out a sigh and wrote down something on a paper.
"It seems like you have tonsillitis, but I’m gonna take a test and see anyway" he said and smiled. He took some samples and then he was on his way, and I sat there and felt a bit more relaxed. Tonsillitis. Nothing more?

He came back and he looked at his papers and he nodded.
"Well it sure is tonsillitis" he said and looked at me.
"What do I have to do to get it to go away?" I asked.
"You will get some penicillin, and you have to rest. No singing for the next few days, okay?" he said and looked at me. I nodded and swallowed. Then he smiled and looked at me with warm eyes.
"I think I found something else as well, but I would like to take another look before I say something" he said.
"Something else?" I asked. He nodded and asked if it was okay for him to make a "camera test" in my throat. Since my throat was so swollen he couldn’t really see anything. I swallowed and nodded, and they prepared me for the test. It was dark in the room and it was him and a nurse. He started to move the camera in through my mouth and towards my throat.
"oh my" the nurse suddenly said and looked surprised.
"Well I be damned" the doctor said and sounded sad. He took out the camera and looked at me.
"What is it?" I asked, a bit scared.
"I think I have to take a few more tests, but it seems like I was right" he said.
"Right about what?" I asked.
"It’s not just tonsillitis" he said.