Too Young To Live This Way
I'll Bite The Bullet Just To Save Myself
“Sure.”
We stood at the merch stand. I sat on one of the sofas next to it and watched Austin meet and greet, take pictures and sign. I felt someone sit down next to me. I turned to see a boy no older than me. I smiled and he smiled back at me.
“What you said up there really inspired me.” It was then I realised that he had cuts on his arms. They looked deep too.
“Why?” I asked and he immediately knew that I wasn’t asking why I inspired him. He ran his finger over one pretty deep one and sighed.
“I was afraid to admit that I liked boys and not girls. I was afraid that my family wouldn’t accept me. Especially my Mom.”
“I was going through that. I’m still not sure. All I know is that I love Austin.” I reached out and put my hand on his thigh. He looked up at me and then at someone standing by the bar. “Is that him?”
“Who?”
“The boy you’re in love with.”
“Yeah. He’s my best friend.” I watched as a tear rolled down his cheek and wiped it away.
“Tell him.”
“I can’t. He’d hate me.”
“I promise you he wouldn’t. Trust me. He’s worried about you now.” He turned and looked at the boy at the bar. The boy at the bar smiled at him before beckoning him over.
“I’m Frankie by the way and that’s Richard.”
“Taylor, obviously.”
I watched as Frankie stood and walked up to Richard. Frankie opened his mouth to say something but Richard pulled him into a kiss. Frankie stood still for a moment before responding by bringing his arms up and kissing Richard back. I looked away because I felt like they needed to be private.
“Let’s go home, angel.” Austin stood in front of me and pulled me to his feet. He swayed slightly and then that was when I realised he looked like he was going to fall asleep on his feet. The drive home was short thankfully because I was scared he was going to fall asleep at the wheel.
We went indoors and he collapsed on the sofa. I took his shoes off and put a blanket over him.
“No. Sleep with me.” Austin mumbled into the cushion and tried to pull me down. I sighed and stripped my shoes, socks, and hoodie off. “Naked.”
“No.”
“Half-naked?”
“You too then.” I said as I stripped down to my underwear. He stripped all way, because he could only sleep naked and we curled up together, facing each other on the sofa. His brown eyes looked sleepy and I rubbed at the bags under one.
“Sleep for me, darling. Sleep the worries away. Sleep the demons away.” I used the saying my Mum used to use when I was little girl. Austin slowly closed his eyes and I rested my head on his arm and watched as he made snuffle-snoring noises. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep when I was safely in Austin’s arms.
****
I woke to the smell of bacon. I rolled over on the sofa; the blanket still wrapped around and looked into the kitchen. Austin was just wearing boxer shorts and had an apron on while standing at the stove. He was humming something.
I wrapped the blanket tighter around me before standing up. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind him and placed a kiss on his bare back.
“Morning, angel.”
“Morning.”
I wanted to broach the subject of sex again but I was too shy to do anything about it. I wanted to make love to him but I was worried we were going too fast. I let my hand wander down his stomach and around his hips. He turned his head to kiss my temple and gently pushed my hands away.
“Let me cook you breakfast.”
“I don’t eat breakfast.” Which was true, I never really ate breakfast, only the mornings I had college. Austin made a sigh before turning to face me, the frying pan held above his head. He reached over me and grabbed a plate and slid the bacon onto the plate.
“Eat for me. Please.”
“I’ll feel sick if I eat this early.”
“It’s ten thirty, Taylor.”
“Austin…”
“Eat.” He nudged me onto a bar stool and I sighed before picking a fork up that was sitting on the table. I stabbed the piece of bacon and held it to my lips. He grinned and picked a piece up with his finger and almost ate it one bite.
Between us we ate the plate of bacon. Austin had stepped closer to me so he was standing between my spread thighs. He kissed my neck and I tilted my head to the side to accommodate him. He made a happy noise and licked a line down my throat.
“When is your interview?”
“Soon.”
“Then shouldn’t you go get dressed.”
“I suppose.” Austin started sucking on my neck and I was hard pressed to stop him. I moaned quietly when he scraped his teeth across the new mark.
“Stop fucking in the kitchen. We eat here!” Alan shouted as he came down the stairs followed by a blonde lady. She smiled shyly and I pushed Austin’s head away from me. He glared at me before stomping towards his bedroom.
I waved at Alan and followed him upstairs because my clothes were there too. He was in the shower and I dressed quickly before reclining on his bed and picking up his laptop that was lying on the bed. As it logged itself on I saw a picture of us pop up on the screen. It wasn’t one he’d taken; it was from last night’s show. We were kissing.
“Where did you get this from?” I asked as he came of the bathroom with black skinny jeans on. He looked over at the laptop and shrugged.
“It’s on Tumblr.”
“Oh…” I knew what Tumblr was because I had one myself. I logged on quickly and my eyes widened at the amount of followers I had gained over the night. I was at six hundred and forty seven before and now I was nearing a thousand.
There was an ask in my inbox and I clicked the little box. An anonymous had sent me a message. You’re no good for Austin. He deserves better. I hope you see sense and leave him. You’ll only drag him down, cutter. My heart hurt and I closed it before Austin could see.
I searched Austin’s name in the tags and I felt sick as there was pictures of us all over there. Even a GIF set had been made of me talking to the crowd. Austin crawled up the bed and sat next to me. He pressed the minimise button and it bought back his wallpaper.
“We’re perfect together. You’re perfect.” He whispered to me and kissed me gently before pulling a tight black shirt on. When he was finished dressing and doing his hair he pulled the laptop away from my lap and tossed it on the bed. “Come.”
We stood at the merch stand. I sat on one of the sofas next to it and watched Austin meet and greet, take pictures and sign. I felt someone sit down next to me. I turned to see a boy no older than me. I smiled and he smiled back at me.
“What you said up there really inspired me.” It was then I realised that he had cuts on his arms. They looked deep too.
“Why?” I asked and he immediately knew that I wasn’t asking why I inspired him. He ran his finger over one pretty deep one and sighed.
“I was afraid to admit that I liked boys and not girls. I was afraid that my family wouldn’t accept me. Especially my Mom.”
“I was going through that. I’m still not sure. All I know is that I love Austin.” I reached out and put my hand on his thigh. He looked up at me and then at someone standing by the bar. “Is that him?”
“Who?”
“The boy you’re in love with.”
“Yeah. He’s my best friend.” I watched as a tear rolled down his cheek and wiped it away.
“Tell him.”
“I can’t. He’d hate me.”
“I promise you he wouldn’t. Trust me. He’s worried about you now.” He turned and looked at the boy at the bar. The boy at the bar smiled at him before beckoning him over.
“I’m Frankie by the way and that’s Richard.”
“Taylor, obviously.”
I watched as Frankie stood and walked up to Richard. Frankie opened his mouth to say something but Richard pulled him into a kiss. Frankie stood still for a moment before responding by bringing his arms up and kissing Richard back. I looked away because I felt like they needed to be private.
“Let’s go home, angel.” Austin stood in front of me and pulled me to his feet. He swayed slightly and then that was when I realised he looked like he was going to fall asleep on his feet. The drive home was short thankfully because I was scared he was going to fall asleep at the wheel.
We went indoors and he collapsed on the sofa. I took his shoes off and put a blanket over him.
“No. Sleep with me.” Austin mumbled into the cushion and tried to pull me down. I sighed and stripped my shoes, socks, and hoodie off. “Naked.”
“No.”
“Half-naked?”
“You too then.” I said as I stripped down to my underwear. He stripped all way, because he could only sleep naked and we curled up together, facing each other on the sofa. His brown eyes looked sleepy and I rubbed at the bags under one.
“Sleep for me, darling. Sleep the worries away. Sleep the demons away.” I used the saying my Mum used to use when I was little girl. Austin slowly closed his eyes and I rested my head on his arm and watched as he made snuffle-snoring noises. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep when I was safely in Austin’s arms.
****
I woke to the smell of bacon. I rolled over on the sofa; the blanket still wrapped around and looked into the kitchen. Austin was just wearing boxer shorts and had an apron on while standing at the stove. He was humming something.
I wrapped the blanket tighter around me before standing up. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind him and placed a kiss on his bare back.
“Morning, angel.”
“Morning.”
I wanted to broach the subject of sex again but I was too shy to do anything about it. I wanted to make love to him but I was worried we were going too fast. I let my hand wander down his stomach and around his hips. He turned his head to kiss my temple and gently pushed my hands away.
“Let me cook you breakfast.”
“I don’t eat breakfast.” Which was true, I never really ate breakfast, only the mornings I had college. Austin made a sigh before turning to face me, the frying pan held above his head. He reached over me and grabbed a plate and slid the bacon onto the plate.
“Eat for me. Please.”
“I’ll feel sick if I eat this early.”
“It’s ten thirty, Taylor.”
“Austin…”
“Eat.” He nudged me onto a bar stool and I sighed before picking a fork up that was sitting on the table. I stabbed the piece of bacon and held it to my lips. He grinned and picked a piece up with his finger and almost ate it one bite.
Between us we ate the plate of bacon. Austin had stepped closer to me so he was standing between my spread thighs. He kissed my neck and I tilted my head to the side to accommodate him. He made a happy noise and licked a line down my throat.
“When is your interview?”
“Soon.”
“Then shouldn’t you go get dressed.”
“I suppose.” Austin started sucking on my neck and I was hard pressed to stop him. I moaned quietly when he scraped his teeth across the new mark.
“Stop fucking in the kitchen. We eat here!” Alan shouted as he came down the stairs followed by a blonde lady. She smiled shyly and I pushed Austin’s head away from me. He glared at me before stomping towards his bedroom.
I waved at Alan and followed him upstairs because my clothes were there too. He was in the shower and I dressed quickly before reclining on his bed and picking up his laptop that was lying on the bed. As it logged itself on I saw a picture of us pop up on the screen. It wasn’t one he’d taken; it was from last night’s show. We were kissing.
“Where did you get this from?” I asked as he came of the bathroom with black skinny jeans on. He looked over at the laptop and shrugged.
“It’s on Tumblr.”
“Oh…” I knew what Tumblr was because I had one myself. I logged on quickly and my eyes widened at the amount of followers I had gained over the night. I was at six hundred and forty seven before and now I was nearing a thousand.
There was an ask in my inbox and I clicked the little box. An anonymous had sent me a message. You’re no good for Austin. He deserves better. I hope you see sense and leave him. You’ll only drag him down, cutter. My heart hurt and I closed it before Austin could see.
I searched Austin’s name in the tags and I felt sick as there was pictures of us all over there. Even a GIF set had been made of me talking to the crowd. Austin crawled up the bed and sat next to me. He pressed the minimise button and it bought back his wallpaper.
“We’re perfect together. You’re perfect.” He whispered to me and kissed me gently before pulling a tight black shirt on. When he was finished dressing and doing his hair he pulled the laptop away from my lap and tossed it on the bed. “Come.”
Notes
Title Cred: BlessthefallHoly Crap! nearly 150 views I love you guys but comment please. I wanna know if you like it or not. I'm not sure maybe I can get one more up tonight :D
What is the name of your sequel babycakes?!?! I. MUST. READ. MORE!
10/28/16