Diana

I was sitting across from Alan, picking idly at the chips on my plate. I had no desire to eat, now that he was here. My stomach had been alerting both Jessica and I of it's lack of nutrition for most of the morning, but now it had decided to fall silent.

Jessica and Andy were off in their own private bubble, ignoring us. Though if I stood up and walked away, I knew Jessica would be on my case and have me sitting back down across from Alan in a heartbeat.

'What did you want to talk about?' I said, ditching my chips and opting for my bottle of water instead.

Alan snorted, and inspected a pizza slice before saying, 'The weather,' and taking a bite. He chewed slowly, while I kept a blank expression on my face. 'Okay, no jokes for Miss Serious. I want to talk about us. Plain and simple. It's been what, four months, since high school? We've definitely matured since then. Why don't we talk about what happened, and where we both went wrong?'

A silence ensued between us, only to be broken by my gradual eating of chips. I mulled over the question, dredging up the memories.

'When you denied our relationship, knowing what you knew about me, and how much it meant.'

'And your fault?'

'Trusting you.' I said bluntly. No emotion flickered across my face, and Jessica appeared by my side a few seconds later.

'Let's go, yeah?' I nodded; I hadn't realised how long I had stayed quiet for, and how long Alan had allowed it.

'Wait, Jess, no. What do you mean trusting me was a fault?' Alan had angered, yet he was trying not to show it. It had come through in his voice, and the way he glanced fleetingly at Jessica.

'I'll meet you in the hallway.' Jessica said, rushing out.

'I kept your secrets, Diana.'

I cut Alan off before he could say another word, 'I meant about trusting you not to hurt my feelings. I know you've kept my secrets, but the salt you rubbed in my wounds after,' I faltered, not wanting to say his name, 'after Jay, that's just not acceptable.'

'I want to make things right between us.' Alan said, the anger draining, being replaced with hurt. I smiled sadly at him.

'So do I.' A hopeful glance from him left a pang in my chest. 'But I can't trust you not to do it again.'

Not yet, anyway.

- - -

'We've been invited to a party.' Jessica said after I walked out of the cafeteria.

'Oh, really?' She nodded.

'Tonight, at eight.'

'Who's holding it?'

She shrugged. 'Some junior, I think. All I know is, Andy wants us both to be there.'

'Andy? Doesn't that mean you'll be breaking your after-dark rule?'

'Diana, it's a party.'

'So? Do you know how many movies include beer, drugs and sex in university parties?'

'They're called movies for a reason. Besides, I'm not that girl. I don't do drugs, and I'm definitely not having sex with Andy after a week of knowing him. We haven't even had a proper kiss.'

'I see you didn't say anything about beer.'

'I went to a few parties in year eleven. And in the latter half of year twelve. I'm no stranger to beer.'

We came to Jessica's lecture room, and she went in, giving me a funny face. I went to my own room a few meters down the hall, getting ready for whatever university decided to throw at me.

- - -

Back at my dorm room, after a highly boring and draining first lecture, Taylor and I were discussing party outfits. I couldn't care less, and was opting for a simple tee shirt and shorts, whereas Tay wanted me to 'dress up a bit' and wear something that hugged my figure. She was wearing a spaghetti strap and a skirt, and was pairing it with sandals, which wasn't showing off any more skin than my outfit. But Jess had decided to come over and force me into something that she declared nicer while Tay and Jenna sat on the bed and laughed at her attempts.

Erin swung by and asked what we were planning on doing, and she simply smiled and told us to be safe when we told her. She was probably relieved to get rid of us for the night.

We turned up at the party roughly fifteen minutes later, with Jess squeezing me into a skirt, but I was adamant that I kept my shirt. I wore ankle boots with no heel, so Jess got a taste of what it was like to almost be taller than me in her heels. She took off as soon as she spotted Andy, and Tay was given a few drinks after she wandered over to a group of people. I, however, stayed away from the beer. I had no desire to become drunk, though I had a suspicious feeling that that was Jessica's intention - or at least for me to have fun. I sighed, knowing all too well if I didn't have one drink she'd become annoyed, and I was getting hot with all the bodies pressed into the room. The host of the party lived in the residential section of the university, so there was more space to dance, and more places to hide beer if anyone came knocking.

I grabbed a beer as someone walked past, offering them to the newcomers. I saw a familiar ginger head as I returned to my spot against the wall, and I sighed. I sipped the drink, with no trace of a bitter flavour informing me that it wasn't beer as I had thought. Alan was looking out over the crowd and I downed my drink as I saw him glance at me. A sudden head rush, and I was out the door. I heard my name being called, not only by Alan, but Jessica too who must have been keeping an eye on me.

I walked swiftly to the beach, not wanting to return to my dorm. I had put on my bathers, as this had been my original plan for the night. The cooler night air cleared my head slightly, and as I reached the sandy ground, I pulled off my clothes, abandoning them and my boots as I waded into the water.

'Diana!'

'Go away, Alan.'

'I'm not going to do that.' I heard him follow me into the water.

'Leave me alone, Alan.'

'I told you I can't. What if some creep comes down and kidnaps you?' I rolled my eyes but waited for him to catch up. The cold water didn't bother me, but it clearly did to Alan as he swore loudly when reaching the deeper parts of the sea.

'Okay, Christ! How about we leave the ocean?' Alan's teeth chattered, and I laughed.

'You didn't have to follow me.' I said, my laugh falling flat. I hadn't been this close, or so alone with Alan in months. I struggled to contain myself. I had no idea of what was running through Alan's mind, but I had an inkling as he reached his hand out and ran it down my arm, turning me around.

'How drunk are you?' I whispered, unsure of the answer I wanted.

'No idea.' He murmured, pulling me closer. I made no move to go, but warning bells went off in my head. If he was drunk, he wouldn't follow me out to sea. He wouldn't be that stupid. I could feel his breath on my skin, and the remaining warmth radiating off his skin. My breathing sped up as he pressed a tentative kiss to my lips. Our noses brushed as I returned the kiss, and as I pulled away, I smelled the alcohol on his breath. Definitely drunk.

I slipped out of his hold, and swam, freestyling away from the mistake I'd surely made.

Notes

Title credit: Me Without You (All I Ever Wanted) - All Time Low