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Mibba

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Don't say I'm better off dead.

Here's To The Past

Oli’s P.O.V

After rummaging through my lone bag and digging up some black sweatpants and a loose fitting tank, I descended the stairs after that much needed shower. To my surprise Austin was nowhere in sight, that’s when I heard a groan echo throughout the house; which absentmindedly sent a shiver through out my body. I quickly walked into the living room, looking around to make sure Austin wasn’t in here, after peering into the kitchen and dining room it was apparent that wasn’t where he was. I scoffed, tapping my foot on the ground; I really hoped that tonight wouldn’t be like the last. After going back into the living room and shutting the television off, I moved to take a seat in the armchair Austin lounged on earlier; but that is when the groan kicked up again. This time I was able to pinpoint the location of the sound, it was a wooden door like the others, but wasn’t it a closet? I turned the handle and much to my shock, a full studio lay before my eyes. I entered as quietly as possible, looking through the barely lit room for a sign of my friend.

“Austin? Are you in here?” my voice was barely above a whisper, but to my surprise he must have heard it. He emerged from another small door adjacent to the one I used to enter; a small smile was laced on his face as he made eye contact with me, he was cradling his hand like it hurt... I would have to ask him about it later, soon after I had a realization. I was staring at him. I felt my face heat up; staring anywhere I could to quickly advert my eyes from his, I choose the floor as an interesting place to look. I heard my companion chuckle, causing my face to light up even more.

‘ohgoodlordOliverwouldyoustopbeingsofuckingweird.’

I bit into my tongue, I was probably coming off as a strange house guest, and I was starting to wonder if Austin regretted his decision to take me in.

“So did you just come in so you could look at the floor…? Or did you just miss me?” his laugh made my heart soar into my throat and I found myself unable to form words, I felt pathetic. Like I was watching someone else make a fool of themselves, and I was unable to do a thing about it. My eyes bore harder into the wood as my fist clenched tightly, why did I have to feel this way?

“it’scauseyourafuckup.youcantevenspeak!AWHwhatswrongoli?haveyoulostyourmindAGAIN?”

I couldn’t fight the rage pitting in my stomach, I could feel Austin’s on me, but I couldn’t say a word, my body acted on its own, trembling with anger I hadn’t felt in years; of all the times in my life, why did IT pick NOW to torment me?

“causeineverleftyouOli,imstuckwithyourpatheticasstillthedayoudie.”

At this point I lost it, my hands flying up to my ears and my knees giving out from under me, I felt Austin lean to catch me but it was too late. My knees hit the wooden floor and pain ricocheted through out my limbs; I felt my mouth moving in frustration, before finally being able to find words once again.

“SHUT UP. SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP. LEAVE ME ALONE.”

I realized I was probably scaring the only person, who I had left, but I was unable to control myself; it was as if I was a bystander to my own life. I could hear the taunting jeers of the voice swimming around my head, I fought so hard to halt its assault but it was useless; I was going to be stuck in my own mind forever. The thought alone made my eyes cloud with tears, but they refused to fall, that’s when I felt a calming hand rest on my shoulder and it was as if time stood still, my foggy mind was suddenly clear and my shouts of protest where silenced, as cliché as it was; that’s exactly the feeling that passed over me. My head shamefully raised as my vision was clearing as the tears slowly fell, my lips trembling horribly, which only worsened when my gaze caught Austin’s. It was a look like I’ve never seen before; it was mixed with fear and concern, but not fear for himself…but for me. The next thing I knew my head was buried into his chest as he sat with his back against the wall, he pulled me onto his lap.He held me so close that it felt as if we were made to sit like this, our bodies molded perfectly together, I frowned into his chest. I still had no idea what it was about Austin that made me feel the way I did, was it because I felt like I owed him something? No. Was it because I felt like I was just empty and he filled the gap? Maybe. I gave up my conquest for answers and instead focused on calming myself down to the point where I could explain myself to him. After several moments he cut the tension filled air.

“Oli, will you tell me about yourself?” his voice was as calm as ever, and I felt my eyes grow wide with surprise, I hadn’t been expecting such a …normal question. I curled up closer into his chest, feeling more safe in his arms than I had in my entire life.

“What do you want to know?” my voice was raspy from the screaming fit, but I was just glad it was working for me again. I felt Austin lean his head against the wall, as his arms readjusted on me, he sighed as if he was…content? He giggled hoarsely before shrugging.

“Honestly, I’d like to know as much as you would tell me. Can you start with the reason you seem so…sad?”

I gulped slightly, how much was I willing to tell him? My thoughts were cut short, as my mouth began to form words that I never thought I would speak.

“Uhm when I was ten my mum …passed away, and ever since then I became very distant from people. My father turned to a bottle for comfort and towards me to vent his rage at the world,” my voice trailed off slightly for a moment, but I soon felt able to press on. “Well I never had any friends except Matt, and when he moved…I got bullied a lot; so I was alone. No family, no friends, and the stress was so monumental that…my mind just…broke. I began to hear things that weren’t there, see things that no one else could; and even though I have gotten a lot better, sometimes its just to much again…please don’t hate me.” I whispered the last part, hoping it was quiet enough for him not to hear. I moved out of his grip so that I could look him in the eyes, finally finding the courage to confront my fear; people.

“Oh Oli, you are so brave…you know that? You didn’t deserve anything like that, you are such a wonderful person..and I promise that I don’t hate you! Oli we all have demons, things we don’t want others to know about or see, everyone has a past whether they want to talk about it or not…and I would never abandon you for yours.”

I was utterly speechless, my jaw went slack as I stared at him; trying to see if any hints of deceit were stamped on his face and I was surprised to see none. I smiled, a genuine smile, and felt tears pricking my eyes, but this time out of relief, I dared to make a brave move. I flung myself back into his arms and hugged him as tightly as possible, uttering “thank you so much” over and over again. He chuckled before snaking arms around me,

“I know what its like to feel so out of control Oli…I-I was actually married for a short time…” for what was probably the millionth time today my eyes went wide, and I nodded urging him to continue, he let out a heavy sigh as his hand nonchalantly played with the creases in my shirt, sending chills through my spine. “Well she cheated on me throughout the entire relationship, with my friend nonetheless, so we divorced immediately after I found out, or more like walked in on her. This was only a 2 years after my moms death, and having the only thing in my life that I loved do that to me…was heart braking.”

I hugged onto him tighter, “thank you for telling me…I’m sorry Austin.” I released him from my grasp and shakily stood up, offering him a hand which he smiled and took without hesitation.
“It gets better Oli, and I will do anything I can to help you realize that.”

He looked so at peace within himself, and so at ease. Most importantly he hadn’t rejected me as a human, hadn’t called me names and told me to leave like I thought he would. Instead he was willing to help, willing to do something to make me feel like I was alive again. I hadn’t even noticed that our hands were still intertwined until I was being pulled into the living room after him, but what we saw next made our jaws hit the floor.

Every door and window was open, the slightly chilly air was blowing through out the house. I looked at Austin, and saw anger flash across his flawless face.

“Oli, lock yourself in the studio, don’t open it up unless it’s me…I’m settling this once and for all. I want to know who is doing this…” his voice was a low growl, it was actually quite frightening. I shook my head, “No, Austin I’m with you on this…I’m a grown man, I can handle myself.”

He sighed in defeat, “just don’t leave my side, kay?” he whispered softly and his grip on my hand tightened, we moved quickly and quietly through the living room to the kitchen, where we both grabbed rather large knifes, It felt a little silly…but you never know. I followed his lead through the house, closing every window and door we passed, and locking them back up. After we made it upstairs he cleared the top floor.

“God dammit! I am so sick of this! What the hell do you want?” he screamed rather loudly through the silent house, causing me to shake in my place. He shook his head before dropping the knife to the floor and pulling me back into his arms.

“I’m sorry Oli, you shaking…your scared…its all my fault, im so-“

“Shh!” I whispered, “I’m alright Austin, and this isn’t your fault…I think we should give it a few more days and call the police, its already really late and we have work in the morning…I guess we should just try to sleep…” I ran a hand through my hair and groaned at the thought of trying to sleep after what had just happened, I hated to admit it but I was petrified.

“You’re right…” he smiled sadly at me, letting me out of his arms and awkwardly walking to his room, I called after him; causing his head to whip around to look at me.

“Uhm…will you camp out with me in my room? I don’t think I can sleep by myself…”

I muttered, my cheeks flashing red; his smile caught me off guard, as he nodded before running into his room for a moment; only to return in flannel pajama pants and a loose muscle tee, a few pillows and movies in his hand. He grinned at me, before following me into ‘my’ room. I smiled as he locked the door and slid the computer desk over to block it, before making sure the windows was locked and the curtains drawn. We collectively decided to watch something funny after we made a small pillow and blanket fort. It must have been a sight, two grown men with a pillow fort and laughing like school girls. We tried our hardest to keep our minds off of the night’s events, which was for the best.

I have never felt so happy about lying around and watching a stupid movie, I thanked no one in particular for the small peace of mind that I was starting to find, this was what we both needed. A night to just get to know each other and relax, and to try and forget the horror movie that was slowly becoming our life.


Unknown P.O.V


After watching Oli duck inside Austin’s studio I used my old spare key to unlock the door, quietly making an entry. I tip toed as fast as I could to all the large windows and swung them open, I vaguely heard screaming from the supposed sound proof room, but that only signaled for me to pick up the pace. I darted out the back door as soon as I was finished, I turned tail and ran to the tree I had used to hide behind last night; admiring my handiwork.

I stuck around just in time to see a very pissed off Austin and a confused looking Oli, I snapped several photos as they quickly shut the doors and windows before disappearing into the depths of the house. I smiled broadly; yes this was all working out perfectly.
I retreated to my vehicle which was parked around the block, smiling all the way home.

I couldn’t shake the enormous smile on my face, or the plan that was hatching from my mind.

Notes

its 3 am so ive been up forever writing this, its 5 1/2 pages so i hope you liked it :D

Well here's some development with austin and oli !
and things are starting to get weirder and weirder every night!
man i make this sound like a soap opera...

ANYWAY!

VOTES/SUBS/COMMENTS = UPDATES.

xoxoxo
siren

Comments

@omam831
:) sequel is up and has 3 chapters at the moment.
Thanks for reading doll <3
@sometimesweseesirens
Thanj GODDDDDD
omam831 omam831
10/18/13
@I_Cannot_Feel_Anything_Anymore
Anytime! :)
@sometimesweseesirens
Thanks:)
@I_Cannot_Feel_Anything_Anymore
Hit up any music shops or guitar shops first, then post an add on craigslist and host a formal audition for anyone interested :)