If You Were A Movie, This Would Be Your Soundtrack
I never I imagine myself sitting on top of a tour bus. But, here I am. There's a bonfire going on and I didn't feel like going. So I recruit myself to the top of the WCAR tour bus. It's weird. Seeing your abusive ex-boyfriend at Warped, falling for the lead singer of a popular band, kissing one of your friends and finding yourself downing a bottle of Jack Daniel's and a can of Coke.
"Sweetie, you gotta come down some day." Juliet had said to me. Gabe texted me numerous times. But, as you can see, I clearly ignored them.
"If a guy is making you feel this way, he isn't worth it." Iris had told me.
"Yeah, he can suck dick!" Ryan had attempted to cheer me up. But it isn't just Kellin making me feel this way. It's just life in general. I wish Vic was here. Or Shayley. I would call them. But my phone took a happy trip off the side of the bus and landed on the soft grass below. I'm surprised no one's picked it up yet.
"Please come down. It's been two hours." Jenna had pleaded. But I guess everyone got tired of me.
I wish I was pretty. Like Taylor Momsen. She's beautiful.
Or like Katelynne. She's gorgeous.
Don't get me started on the baby. She's the beautiful spitting image of Kellin.
And that ring, so beautiful.
I look over and see Juliet and Andy Biersack passionately kissing.
I groan and walk out the bus. I make my way to the bonfire everyone's attending. But I stop.
The depths have a number, they call you by name.
Fall asleep, Davy Jones calls you.
So fall asleep, fall asleep and dream.
Someone's singing one of my songs. I take a look at the tour bus I just past and look up. It's Kat. I plop myself on the ground and listen to her voice.
All that I know is gone She sings
(Take what is left of me now) I sing back, even though she can't hear me.
All that I know is gone
(Take what is left of me)
Fall deeper and deeper, the sirens are singing your songs. I sigh and lean my head back. I get up and walk back to my bus. I can't do this.
Is it just me, or did I hear someone singing in the background vocals to the song I as singing.
"Can't you just please come down?" the voice scares me. But I keep my cool and focus my attention on the happy people dancing below.
"It's not that easy Devin." I hear him sigh as he sits next to me, lacing our fingers together.
"Kellin isn't worth it."
"That's just it!" I yell while getting up. "It's not just Kellin, Devin! It's life in general! Why can't I be pretty?! Why can't I look like Iris?! Or Juliet?! Or Jenna?! Hell, even Vic looks cuter than me. Usually guys give me one look and sneer away!" I began to cry. "It's hard to enjoy Warped when you have a constant nagging feeling of being ugly."
"Kat! You are beautiful."
"STOP FUCKING LYING TO ME!" I scream. Everything goes quiet. The venue is perfectly silent. The only thing audible is my sobs. "WHAT GIRL WHO HAS STARVED HERSELF FOR YEARS BEAUTIFUL? OR HAS SCARS ON HER THIGHS? ANXIETY ATTACKS AT VERY AWKWARD MOMENTS AND EVERYONE SNEERS A CLEAR COAST AWAY FROM ME?! THER'ES A LOT I'VE BEEN HIDING FROM YOU DEVIN! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" I yell at him. He doesn't even flinch at my words.
"You're right. I don't know you. I didn't think you would stoop this low." He tosses me my phone. And with that he leaves. But not before I hear him muttering 'freak'. I stay frozen in my spot. my sobs are louder than ever as my knees buckle. I grab my phone and dial a number.
Everyone stood clear of me the next day. My own siblings didn't want anything to do with me. It's been a week, I know, a week. These people who I thought were my friends aren't. They don't even glance my way. There's only one thing keeping me from leaving this tour.
Some how they got video of my breakdown. But they've supported me 100% of the way. Juliet and I still text, but other than that, everyone ignores me. I've cried myself to sleep every night. Today was an off day, I snuck off the and made my way to my meeting place. I was meeting Shayley. He saw the video, but at least he didn't shut me off. The only other people up were ISS. Devin looked my way and rolled his eyes. He turned to the guys and they all looked my way. Some were snickering. All of them were except for Andy (Devin's brother) and Zach. They shot me an apologetic look. I bumped into someone and fell.
"Watch where you're going freak." I stood up and saw Alan.
"Don't talk to me suicidal freak." He shoved me and walked off.
I'm pissed at everyone. How dare they just turn their backs on Kat. Half of them went thtrough the same thing she did! And now they shut her out? Me and the guys tried to figure stuff out, but all they keep saying is that she's a freak. Her own brother's and sister's are doing this. I keep trying to speak to her but she's always bomb-shelled with insults. I can't even explain myself to her. I'm not taking anymore of this shit. I grab my bullhorn and walk out into the venue. I climb on main-stage and turn the microphone on. I speak through the bullhorn into the microphone.
"ATTENTION BAND MEMBERS AND STAFF OF WARPED!!!!" People begin to walk this way. Some getting off buses some from outside the venue. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL?" They all give me that confused look. "DON'T GIVE ME THAT STUPID LOOK YOU SHITFACES."
"What the hell Kellin?!" Austin yelled. Some others agree.
"WHY ARE YOU GUYS TREATING KATHERINE THIS WAY?"
"Because she's a freak!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP DEVIN. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HER BEST FRIEND! SHE'S GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME AND SHE NEEDS HELP. OLI!" He looked up as heads turned his way. "SERVILELY BULLIED. JULIET SIMMS. BULIMIA." Get ready bitches. Secrets are getting ready to be spilled.
OMF I LOVE IT!