*Little trigger warning*


-Andy Oliver Point Of View-
“Where is she?” Devin asked me.
“Annah says she home. I’m going to see her, wanna come?”
“Yeah.” I walked over and helped my brother up. Almost five months have passed since that day and Devin got released two months ago after nearly dying. Now he has a broken neck and has to use crutches. But it’s better than him not being here. I haven’t heard a single word from Kat since we both dropped out of Warped. Not since she found out she was pregnant and the father was Kellin. From what her siblings tell me, Kellin and Kat haven’t had any contact since the day at the hospital. “How is she?” he asks as he grabs the crutches nearby.
“I have no clue.” I answer honestly. Devin struggled a bit, reaching down to support himself on the bar. “When did she arrive back in Warren?”
“A month before we did.” I help him down the stairs, keeping a firm grip on his waist until we reach the bottom and outside. He only has to keep the crutches for two more weeks, by then, we’ll be on our way to prepare for another tour. “She should be about five months along.” I gulped at the mention of seeing her.
“Are you going to tell her?” he asks form the backseat. I look into the rear mirror and see the smirk on his face. I chuckle before looking back at the road.
“I want to, but it’s awkward. I’ve known her too long.” I say. “I’ll tell her after the meeting in two weeks.” Devin sighs, giving up on the conversation. It was quiet the rest of the way there. Except for the occasionally grunt as Devin moved his neck, the brace restraining him and popping in response. When we arrived at her house, her siblings except for Ellie, were all centered on the front porch. Ryan, Vince, and Annah. They all walked over as I parked the car on the grass. I got out first, opening the door for Devin and helping him out, good leg first, then injured leg. I could tell sometimes, Devin would get frustrated at his injuries and usually get mad, but today seemed one of the better days. Especially coming so close with a chance to play Warped ’14, without SWS, after releasing our album. Grateful Devin got the last copy.
“Devin, you should stay.” Vince said. Devin looked hurt, thinking maybe his injuries were the problem. “She’s not in the best shape.” He said. It still left him puzzled while I stood nearby. He leaned in and whispered something in his ear and Devin nodded, understanding. They all looked at me and motioned towards the house.
It bothered me a bit, but I shrugged it off and walked in the house. I really want Devin to come, because I don’t think I can do this by myself.
It still looked the same as usual. Photos of us hanging. Some from our summer trips to California and some of our families and the best ones of our bands. But the house gave off a really negative vibe and I don’t know why. I ascended up the stairs, my heart pounding in my chest so loud, it echoed throughout the house and I’m afraid someone heard it.
I saw her room, it looked different, but not by far. The door was just a different color. I walked up to the now brown door and knocked.
“Who is it?” a voice came from the other side, too soft to be Kat’s.
“It’s Andy, Ellie.” I waited for a few seconds.
“Come in.” I opened the door. “Careful,” she said. I looked down and saw an empty bottle of vodka lying on the ground. It wasn’t the only bottle I saw. I saw ten, twenty of them lying on the floor. Making a trail from the bathroom and the doorway to the prime suspect, the bed. The room reeked of weed and crystal meth and it drove me into overload as I’m afraid what to find in the bed. I walked around the bottles and near the bed inch by inch until I saw nothing but a blob of blonde hair.
“Is this-”
“It’s Kat. She, she went downhill from the hospital.” I sat on the edge of the bed and the figure in the bed did not move at all. The figure was abnormally skinny and her hair looked like it was losing its touch. I didn’t believe this, I refuse to believe that she’s on the same path my mother was. It hurt to see my mom suffer the way she did, I don’t want the same from Kat.
“What about the baby? Kellin?” Ellie shook her head. Her brown hair falling around her shoulder in ringlets. “She began overdosing on birth control and sleeping pills combined with alcohol. I’m pretty sure she’s either way, way un-ovulated or infertile.” She began to cry and excused herself from the room. I sat on the bed and gently shook Kat.
“Kat, Kat wake up.” I hear the shallowest snore come from her body. What would make her go downhill like this? This isn’t like her to do harm to her body…..
I don’t what, but in that moment, I went to her bathroom. It was jammed lock, so I used the key hidden above and got in. I know she has a past of self-harm.
I looked inside the bathroom and all I saw were more bottles of alcohol and sleeping pills. I saw her phone on the counter. I snatched it up and one text was there. It was delivered a month ago. It was from Kellin and all it said was “Sorry.” I opened the message. There wasn’t that much texting between them only two things. A text from her and the response “Sorry” from him. Her text made me want to rip his fucking head off. Her message was sent five months ago.
“I had a miscarriage Kellin.” And he responds a few months later with “Sorry”
Fucking sorry? Do you not care that it was your child? That she just came from a horrible accident and only to lose the baby and all you can say is sorry?
I slammed her phone down and something rattled. I picked it up and slammed it down again and it rattled once more. I ripped off her case to see five blades fall down into the sink, all of them caked in dry blood.
“Kat no,” I whisper. I didn’t look any further. Have you ever had that feeling where you’ve known a person for so long and then suddenly you look at them in a different light? For a while, I’ve been that way. I was going to mention my feelings, but now I can’t. I have a friend who needs me.
I walked back into her room, angry, and ripped the covers from her body. She was only in a bra and sports shorts. I noticed a new tattoo on her back, but she looked the same. I flipped her over and gasped.
She looks dead, if it weren’t for the fact that her cheeks are flushed. Cuts lined her upper thigh, but they were old. Probably two or three months. None are recent. But she was so skinny, so fragile.
But yet beautiful.
Her eyes shot open. For a minute, my heart leaped, hoping that some sense as in her. But I was wrong. She pounced on me, tackling me to the floor.
“Kat! KAT! KAT STOP!” I yelled as she straddled my hips, which turned me on a lot, and began trying to dig her nails into my face. I grabbed her wrists and tried to shove her away, she dug her knees to the floor, making her thighs tighten on my waist, locking them. She had depression all in her eyes, but anger and rage topped them and could be the reason she wants to kill me. “KAT PLEASE STOP!” I yelled as some her nails encountered my face. they stung as the blood seeped out and stained my mouth. I rolled her over and tried to pin her arms to the floor, but she seemed so much stronger than me. “Kat,” I whispered. She stop struggling and I stared into her eyes and for a moment I saw Kat. But then, anger flashed through her blue eyes and she was right back on top of me again.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!?!” I yelled. She froze, processing my words.
“HIM! THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG! I LOST MY BABY, MY WORLD AND THAT FUCKING DICKHEAD DOESN’T EVEN CARE ANYMORE-” Her voiced cracked. Her eyes brighten a bit from the anger and were filled with tears. She slapped me hard across the face before getting off me. She walked over to her mirror and screamed. “I hate this! I want to fucking die!” She screamed before collapsing on the ground in a fit of tears. I stood by awkwardly, as I didn’t know what to do. so, I did the only think I knew what to do. I walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug.
“Kat, you have to tell me, what happened?” she sobbed more into my chest and my heart hasn’t broken more than right here and now. She’s barely 25 and yet has dealt with so much in the past couple months, that it’s driven her to insanity.
“Katherine, Devin is here. He wants to see you. You have to clean up, your room, your body, everything. For him.” She nodded and just fell in my arms again. I grabbed some empty plastic bags and threw all the bottles in them while she went, throwing away all the pills. We made her bed up, cleaned her dresser, threw out the hidden stash of crystal meth and decreased the amount of weed. We sprayed her bedroom and went to the bathroom. She froze at the sight of the razors and her phone. She looked away and buried her face in my chest. I took the razors and slipped them in my pocket and deleted the text messages from her phone. Once her bathroom was clean, I sat on the edge of her bed while she took a shower.
About thirty minutes later and five rounds of Angry Birds, she came out the bathroom with one of my I See Stars I Jersey’s, with my black sweater that I left a couple years ago, black skinny jeans and black vans. She had on some pink cloud looking gauges and a gold nose ring. At least her holes didn't close.
“I’m going to have to stop leaving my clothes here, eh?” she shrugged her shoulders. Her hair looked more, healthy? I guess, it was in its natural waves, but her face still looks like hell. I got up and began walking towards the door when I heard a whisper.
“Say that again.”
“I said, thank you.” Her first civil words since I got here. I held my hand for her and she stared at it for a while. But, after a while, she hesitantly laced her fingers through mine and squeezed them tight.
“I got you.” I say. She nods and we walk down the stairs and outside. Everyone looks our way and Kat drops her head. Her siblings were thanking me. It was in their eyes. Devin looked happy to see his best friend. “Go on Kat,” I urged. She looked up and stared at her siblings. Tears welled in her eyes.
“I’m sorry.”

______________

-Katherine Bruno-Bailey Point Of View-
To think he ever he actually cared. I can’t believe I let my guard down for what I thought was love. I never believed in that shit in the first place. So what, Kellin Quinn ‘takes interest in me’ I’m supposed to drop the whole damn show for him?
I let the alcohol consume my soul as I took three sleeping pills.
Jackass. That’s all he is and ever will be to me. jackass. Doesn’t even care about the child. I’m not even ready to be a mother.
I stumbled into my bathroom and threw my medicine cabinet open, knocking down a few shaving razors and mini shampoo bottles falling down.
“Fuck,” I hiss. I grab the shampoo bottle and bang it against the razor, knocking the blade clean out. I sickly laughed to myself as I picked it up. “The baby won’t love me, and you don’t. so, why believe in it?” I know it’s the alcohol talking but I don’t care. I dragged the cool pretty metal across my skin and watched the crimson color rise from my arm. I sat on the counter and repeated he same action to my thighs.
Love is such a ‘beautiful’ thing.
I woke up with a gasp. I frantically looked around for any leftover alcohol and found none. This is why I never sleep on my own. Memories haunt me and without the help of alcohol or the sleeping pills, I’m dead shit.
I hurriedly tip-toe from my room, not wanting to wake Andy who is sleeping on the floor and ran to my kitchen.
I open the cupboard and grabbed the bottle of Vodka, my personal favorite, and the sleeping pills in my pocket. I shoved them down my mouth, gulping the alcohol after it.
“Kat, stop!” I dropped the bottle, letting it roll onto the carpet floor with a thud. I swallowed quickly and turned around to see Devin watching me with sad eyes. Tears welt my eyes as I realize, I have a problem, and it’s not going away any time soon.
He wobbled over to me.
“Kat, this isn’t you. Why are you doing this?” I couldn’t meet his eyes. So, I stared at the neck brace.
“Please, don’t tell Andy.” I whisper, letting the tears fall freely now.
“I can’t promise that Kat. He’s my brother and you are hurting not only your siblings, but us too!”
“I-I-I can’t function without it.” I say lowly. “They help me sleep without, without the memories. I-I-I, Devin,” I look up with weary eyes. Devin already had tears in his.
“I swear, if I weren’t in these crutches, I would go over there and fucking hug you right now.” We stood in silence for a while.
“I should’ve never believe in it.” I whispered.
“What? Believe in what?”
“Kellin. Love. Everything. Love is just one fake ass lie.”

Notes

I See Stars Jersey
Katherine Bruno-Bailey
God, it's been about forever and a century since I've updated and here it is! Just to see what happened to poor Kat those five months and who's hating Kellin at the moment? *Raises hand*
Trying to get another updated in before next year, so as usual, til next time.