Adam said he would be back from tour on time to pick me up from the airport, and I was extremely thankful for that because I really didn’t want to have to call my dad and ask him to pick me up. I didn’t want my dad to know that I was already back so soon, because he would assume it was because of him, or because of Alan. And really, this was only because I had no choice anymore. If my plans with Alan would have gone through, I would have told my dad all about everything – I would have finally let him in because I would be too excited to hold it in any longer. But since Alan had crushed that possibility, I wanted to just wait until work started up for people to know that I was back in town.

I was thankful that the company I worked for set me up with an apartment a bit closer to the publishing warehouse, instead of in Long Beach like where I was living before – it was only a twenty minute drive away, but with the LA traffic, that could easily be turned into an hour, depending on the time of day I would be scheduled to work. So instead I was set up with a small studio apartment that was only a ten minute walk away from work – which was especially great because I didn’t even have a car. I had nothing but my clothes, bedding, and other essentials to make my new studio into my home, which was going to be difficult to do.

I had never lived on my own – I always had a roommate of some sort. I went from living with my parents when I was younger, to dorming at the University, and then Jelina and I moved out together. Even when I moved back to Long Beach I was living with someone. Now I was going to be entirely alone, confined to a small space with nobody there to keep me company. I was afraid of how I was going to adjust to it, but it was something that I had to do.

I stepped out of the airport, wheeling two bags behind me while security helped to wheel out the rest of my luggage on a trolley cart. I looked around for Adam’s bald head, but I didn’t see him. I started to feel awkward with the security standing there, waiting for me to spot my ride. I checked my phone – my missed calls or texts that were saying he couldn’t make it.

“My ride must have overslept,” I explained. “I guess I’ll just have to take a cab.”

The security man didn’t reply. He just stood there, waiting for me to decide what I was going to do. I walked forward, ready to stick my hand out and flag down a cab, but instead my attention was drawn to the woman standing across from me on the other side of the airport pick-up and drop-off loop. Her black hair was straightened to perfection and her slim body was dressed in an adorable sun-dress, paired with some flats.

“Natalie?” I asked, confused as to why she was there. So many emotions ran through my body at once – I wanted to hug her because I had missed her, but I also wanted to slap her for becoming so acquainted with Jane and Anouk. And then I also wanted to ask her questions about Adam and Jane to try and start my investigation to see if my theories were correct.

“Hey,” she said with a weak smile as if she knew that she was guilty. “Adam’s flight was delayed yesterday so he’s not going to be getting home until tomorrow. I offered to come get you instead.”

I didn’t say anything, instead I turned around and met eyes with the security guard to try and tell him to wheel the cart over. He understood and walked with me across the drop-off area that was resting under the awning of the front of the airport. We loaded everything into the trunk and backseat of her car before I tipped the security guard a couple of bucks for helping me. He left quickly and I reluctantly got into the passenger’s seat.

The car ride was silent and dense. Luckily my new studio apartment was only fifteen minutes away from the airport, so we didn’t have to suffer in the silence for too long.

I wanted to say something to her, I really did. But there was nothing for me to say. We pulled up to the building and I studied the outside. It looked a lot dirtier than the pictures online, but it wasn’t scummy or run-down. Just a bit older than I expected. It was a large complex of apartments, each building only two-stories high. The studios were in the very back of the complex.

Natalie parked outside of the gated complex while I went into the landlord’s office to sign the papers and pick up my keys and get the information on the rules and conditions of the complex and recreational features – like the pool and gym. On the paper was the code for the gate, so I typed it in and then jogged over the car and got back in so we could drive through. I looked down at the map where my studio was circled with a highlighter and directed Natalie through the complex until we finally found Stuido 22C – my new home.

The two of us were able to carry all of my bags up in one trip, even though it took a while to get them up the stairs, we still managed to do it.

“How did you fit all of your stuff in only seven bags?” Natalie asked as I pulled out my new key to unlock the front door. “I would need like fifty,” she laughed.

I didn’t reply. I didn’t really have much to say to her anyway. Clearly I didn’t have very many belongings; I thought she would have figured that much from how empty my room was when I lived with Jane. I ignored her and pushed open the door before turning to look down at the bag I had set down. When I stood back up, the lights flicked on and there was a small chorus of “Surprise!” that erupted from inside my new home.

I jumped a little, startled at the welcoming committee – that only consisted of Austin, Adam, Aaron, Tino, and Phil. It pained my heart to see that Alan wasn’t there, but I should have expected otherwise.

My cheeks heated up when I realized how shitty I must have looked – my hair was thrown up in a messy bun since I hadn’t showered the night before. I was wearing toga pants with a white camisole tank top and an unzipped jacket over it. No makeup was on my face, and not to mention that I had started my period so my chin was breaking out. “Perfect,” I muttered to myself as I struggled to push my things through the doorway. I was having trouble with one of the rolling suitcases and gave up, harshly throwing it onto the floor and kicking it through the doorframe. I dropped the three duffel bags that I had wrapped around my body – shedding them each one by one and forming a pile beside the front door. Natalie followed my lead, leaving everything in the pile and then shut the door behind her.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, a small smile forming on my lips as Adam stepped forward. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a huge hug while kiss my cheek over and over again.

“We wanted to welcome you into your new home!” Austin said as he came up behind Adam, pulling him off of me and then giving me a hug. I hugged the rest of the guys, they were quick, one-armed hugs. I felt awkward having them all here, but I guess they were just neutral members to this whole drama-fest.

I looked around after finishing hugging them all and realized that this was it – this was all there was to see. I didn’t need to tour the new home because it was all in one room. To the right of the front door was the living room area and the kitchen, which was someone secluded by a wall so the appliances weren’t right by the front door. There was already a couch placed in the living room, in front of it was a fold-out tray holding a stack of three pizza boxes.

“Oh thank god you brought food,” I said as I immediately headed straight toward the pizza boxes. I opened the first box to find pepperoni and immediately ripped a slice out and took a bite. I took a couple more bites and then used the back of my hand to wipe the grease from my face, and then wiped my hand onto my yoga pants to get the grease off of my hand.

“I was going to say that we don’t have plates of napkins, but looks like that doesn’t matter,” Adam chuckled as he came in and sat down on the couch.

Austin followed after him and stood in front of the wall across from the couch where a TV was sitting on the floor, already plugged in and playing music videos on mute. “So you notice the pizza and not the fact that we furnished your apartment for you? Wow, I see how it is.”

I stopped chewing and looked around, quickly realizing that this place should have been empty, but instead there were a few items here and there. The kitchen had a container of water bottles sitting on the counter and ice cube trays on top. The couch looked used, like something they quickly picked up from the Goodwill or something, but it was still nice. It was leather, with only a couple areas of ware showing. The TV looked brand new, though. It looked like the one that I had when I lived with Jane.

“I know it’s not much,” Adam chimed in, “But we just wanted to get you a little something to make it feel more comfortable. Plus, we figured you’d kind of need a bed.”

I set my pizza back down inside of the box and stood up, looking around for the bed, but I didn’t see it.

“It’s down the small hall right by the front door,” Natalie explained, pointing over to the small space that was to the left of the front door.

I walked over toward the small hallway, but first stopped to peek inside of the bathroom. It was small, but looked very clean. I noticed a shower-curtain already hanging and a bottle of soap sitting beside the sink, and a few rolls of toilet paper stacked behind the toilet. I exited the bathroom and then finally walked down the hall to where there was a tiny little space – one just barely big enough for a bed and a dresser. The bed was large, and I immediately recognized it. It had the same bedding that Alan had bought for me when I first came back to Long Beach – my cream colored bedset that I was using at Jane’s house. The dresser and bed also looked to be the same, too.

I walked back out of the room and into the living room where everybody had started to dig into the pizza. “How did you guys get this stuff back from Jane’s house?” I asked, my voice barely audible.

“Well, your dad actually bought all of it. So, when he found out you were coming back, he asked for all of it back and then had us move it here for you.”

“He knows I’m back?” I asked, very softly. Great, now I was going to seem like a bitch for not calling him and telling him. “And does that mean Jane knows, too?”

“Jane doesn’t know,” Natalie said quickly. “And Adam told me and so I told your dad.”

I sighed, deciding not to start any sort of fights or anything, especially after they had done so much for me. Was this their way of apologizing to me for everything that happened?

“Well, we better get going. We’ll let you get acquainted with your new home and stuff,” Aaron said softly. He stood up and Phil and Tino immediately followed suit. Adam remained seated though, making it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere, and I was definitely thankful for that.

Natalie reluctantly stood up, Austin soon following her. She gave me a weak smile and said goodbye as they all walked out of the house, shutting the door behind them.

“God, that was so awkward,” Adam groaned, relaxing his body as soon as everybody left my new home. “Well, this place actually isn’t so bad!” He looked around in satisfaction, taking in his surroundings with a smile. “Maybe I’ll be your roommate,” he said with a laugh.

I laughed a bit, but the idea actually wasn’t so terrible. “I mean,” I said as I considered it. I shrugged my shoulders and Adam gave me a strange look. “Yes, I actually am considering this.”

“There’s no way the two of us could live in this tiny place,” he said as he shook his head.

I collapsed on the couch beside him, pleased with how comfortable it actually was. “Maybe after I get started back up at work. I’m not just an intern anymore, so I’ll be making more money. Then I can move out of this place and maybe we could be roommates. I mean, you tour a lot so it’d work out fine.”

Adam nodded. “Not a bad idea, remind me about this when it gets closer to the time you’d be interested in moving out and we can talk more seriously about it.” He paused and adjusted himself on the couch beside me, turning to face me. “But for now, we have to talk about loverboy, and what the next move is.”

“There are no more moves,” I said, somewhat lying. I did have my investigating to do, but I didn’t really want Adam to know that quite yet. I didn’t want him to be paranoid. “I’m just going to go with the flow.”

“No,” Adam groaned. “Take him away from Jane so I can have her.”

I laughed a bit, but shook my head. I honestly couldn’t see why he loved Jane so much – it was apparent that she was manipulative and a liar. Adam didn’t seem to be under her manipulation, he just genuinely cared for her. “Tell me about the relationship you had with Jane,” I requested, my voice low and tired as I grew more and more comfortable.

“Oh, umm…I don’t know,” Adam said, suddenly feeling nervous and embarrassed. I could see the redness forming on his cheeks as he blushed. “I’m not good at the mushy gushy talk.”

“Please?” I tried.

Adam sighed and finally nodded. “Only because you’re my best friend,” he laughed. I smiled at his words. It felt nice to know that I had a best friend here in Long Beach, especially when mine was all the way across the world. I couldn’t help but wonder what Jelina was doing and made a mental note to call her in the morning to let her know that I had arrived safely. I was sure that she would also want pictures of the studio, so I made a small checklist in my brain while Adam gathered his thoughts.

“I don’t know,” Adam chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck. “When we were dating it was just different. We met at a concert, actually. She was in the front row and I was taking pictures of the band just beside the stage. I accidentally stood right in front of her view and she asked me to scoot over, which was weird because usually people didn’t ask me to move. But I did, and then at one point the singer reached out into the crowd and they grabbed hands, so I took pictures of it. And she actually tapped on my shoulder and asked to see the picture. Which was also weird, but I showed her, and that was it. But then after the concert, I ran into her again, and we just kind of started talking. We ended up exchanging numbers, solely so I could send her the pictures of her I took.

“A month later we were dating, and it was like an instant attraction. She was so punk rock, and so blunt and I loved it. I was so used to being around such slutty band girls on tour and stuff, and there was Jane – all calm and normal and naturally gorgeous without having to throw herself out there. She just loved the music, and I loved that about her. I fell in love with how she didn’t have to try to get attention, it just naturally came to her. I fell in love with how she would prefer to go to a concert than a nice dinner. I fell in love with how easy it was to make plans with her. She would always just go with the flow and when we were together everything just made sense.”

Adam stopped talking and I couldn’t help but feel as if I was watching a movie in my head. The way his eyes gleamed when he talked about her made me feel so envious. I wished that someone would look like that when they thought or talked about me. I wanted to be loved by someone like the way Adam loved my sister. “So what happened? Why did she cheat?” I asked, my words becoming barely audible when I realized how insensitive the question must have been.

“Well, we moved in together and everything was great because I was always home. The tours slowed down for the holidays and stuff, so I was always home. But then touring season started back up again and she started to get really paranoid and jealous. When I could upload pictures on facebook of the band that I was touring with, there would be girls there. Even if nobody slept with them – even though some of them did – we liked to invite some pretty girls onto the bus and just party and hang out. It was fun and innocent. But she was afraid that I was going to cheat, or that I already was cheating. When I returned after the first tour I went back out on, we got into a huge fight and she got really mad and accused me of cheating.

“After the fight, things slowly went back to normal, and so the next time I was invited out on a tiny tour, just around California, I decided that I would invite Jane out to a couple of the dates, and that’s when she met Alan. I had known Alan because my sister was dating Austin, so naturally I was around the band often, but it was the first time that Jane had been around. Things were still rocky between us, so at the show, Alan didn’t know that Jane was my girlfriend, and she didn’t really correct him.

“After that tour, things got really boring in our relationship. The sex was dull when it did happen, and the days dragged on. I left for tour after a month of being in a lull period of our relationship, but Of Mice and Men weren’t touring. Jane started meeting up with Alan and because our relationship had gotten so comfortable, she wanted something new. So she hooked up with Alan. She told me immediately after. She felt so bad, and then the love was back for a while, until a fan posted a picture of her kissing my bald head – which a lot of people do – and Jane flipped. So Alan became her regular boy and then I came back from tour to find out that she was moving out and was going steady with Alan.”

I shook my head. “Man, that’s awful,” I said softly. I wanted to ask about the night that Jane went crawling back to Adam. I wanted to know if they had sex, and I wanted to ask so many questions about it to start getting my facts straight, but a yawn over-took my body and I couldn’t fight off the need for sleep. I was exhausted from the flight, and I really just needed to take a power nap.

I felt Adam wrap his arms around me and lift me up from the couch. He carried me through the house and then plopped me down on the bed, causing me to giggle as my body bounced on the mattress. Adam collapsed next to me, making me bounce once again.

“You’re a great guy, Adam,” I said as I blindly reached out to carress his face. I ended up awkwardly placing my hand over his face. Adam grunted as a response and laughed, but I just went with it and dragged my hand down his face with shushing him. “Shh…sleepy time.”

Adam pushed my hand away and chuckled. I listened to his rhythmic breathing as I fell asleep, images of Jane and Adam’s relationship playing in my head based off of the stories he had told me.

I dreamt that I was at one of Alan’s concerts, screaming in the front row, desperately wishing to be noticed by him. But standing side stage was Jane with Adam leaning into her side, wrapping an arm around her as she cradled their baby in her arms. If Jane was with Adam now, why wouldn’t Alan pay attention to me? I watched as he winked at the band sluts that were standing on the other side of the stage, opposite of where Jane and Adam were standing. The band sluts giggled and blew him kisses, each of them dresses in ridiculously high heels and low-cut shirts.

I was standing in the crowd wearing a sundress and sandals, being pushed around by the rest of the fans there. I didn’t know any of the songs. I wasn’t even enjoying myself – I just wanted Alan’s attention. But I was nobody to him, just a face being overlooked in a crowd full of people that related to him more through music and passions that I didn’t have the knowledge of.

I woke up feeling more alone than ever, even though I knew that Adam was still somewhere inside of my apartment. He wasn’t lying beside me anymore, though, and although it would have been nice to wake up to somebody lying beside me, I decided that it was better that he hadn’t stayed there for too long. I couldn’t deny the connection that I had with Adam, and I was afraid that if I got used to waking up next to him, we would settle for each other once again.

I slowly left my room and grabbed a bottle of water from the container on the counter before I headed toward the balcony. Adam was sitting on the ground, just staring out at the streets behind my apartment. A few birds would fly by every now and then or swoop down to pick at something on the pavement. But other than that, there was nothing to really look at.

“Do you ever think about what might happen if Jane and Alan do stay together forever?” he asked. “What do we do after that?”

“I try not to think about it,” I answered.

“Me too, but lately I have been,” he said. “Do you think we’d end up together?”

I gave him a confused look. “Who?” I asked.

“Me and you,” he said softly. He turned to meet my gaze. “If Jane and Alan stay together, would me and you get back together?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know,” I said softly. I didn’t want to say anything else because I didn’t want to think about not having Alan in my life, but since Adam had brought it up I couldn’t help but wonder. Adam and I probably would end up together. We had some sort of an attraction toward each other, and although it could be easily ignored and written off as a flirty best friend kind of relationship, I also felt like something between us was unfinished.

“I think we would,” Adam said with a smile. “I meant what I said the other night on the phone, you know.”

“What? That I fuck like a champion?” I teased, laughter escaping my lips.

He buried his face into his hands to hide the redness of his face. “Well, yeah. But, I was actually referring to when I called you perfect. You really are.”

I smiled at his words. Hearing something like that over the phone was one thing, but being told in person was like it held a much stronger meaning. I couldn’t help but blush a little bit. “Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself,” I said with a laugh. “And you’re not the worst in the sack, either.”

Adam rolled his eyes and gently pushed me. “I just hope that we can get what we want, because we’re two pretty amazing people.”

I could see the sadness that was written on his face, and the pain hit me. I was pretty certain that Adam was the father of Jane’s baby, and with seeing the way he was acting, I felt like he might have known it, too.

“Adam,” I said, “when was the last time you had sex with Jane?”

He turned to look at me, but he didn’t answer. His lips curled up into a small smile, his eyes drooping as the sadness weighed them down. He turned away and tilted his head back as he exhaled.

Did Adam know that he was the father?

Notes

Hey guys, sorry it took so long for an update! Finals week is right around the corner so I've been busy, busy, busy!

It might be another week before I can update that, and for that I apologize in advance. But it definitely won't be anywhere near the 19 days you have to wait for this update, so that's good.

Let me know what you think :) Love you all! Thank you for your constant comments and support! <3