This One's For Us
Unfaithful
Austin.
I wait impatiently for Lily to come out of the bathroom. I planned everything out for tonight, I wanted everything perfect. I had butterflies in my stomach, as if I was going on our first date, and I smile involuntarily. When I hear the door creak I feel excited, and I turn to face her. She looks stunning, though she always does.
"What?" She asks nervously shifting. "Austin?" I hadn't realized how much I was staring. Her brown eyes blinked slowly. Her hair was up in some kind of style, her dress showed her chest, her perfect natural tanned skin. She smiles and makes it look effortless, and I'm smiling too. She never fails to take my breath away. "Ready?" She asks me, and I can't find the words. I do nod, and lead her thought the door.
I had reservations for a fancy restaurant. It was quiet and I thought she'd love it. She was beautiful in the candle light as we popped champagne and pour ourselves a glass. We talked about everything. She laughed a lot, and that made me feel good. By the end of dinner, my cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much.
Lily.
Dinner was romantic and sweet. I felt the pain from laughing so much in my abdomen, but I was ready to head to the club with Austin. When we got there we grabbed some drinks and started dancing. I was having a lot of fun. I kept drinking and as I was getting drunk I felt myself getting closer to Austin. Letting him come right behind me. After a few hours of drunk dancing, and more drinks, Austin and I were both incredibly drunk.
The feeling of Austin's body on mine gave me chills, and when he whispered in my ear if I wanted to go back to the hotel, I nodded furiously, and he took my hand and led me outside. The air felt good on the back of my neck, and I was a bit dizzy, but Austin's keeping me from tumbling over, with his hands around my waist. We didn't say anything to each other, as we sat in the back of the cab, but I slid my hand over to Austin's hand and took it back in mine.
Austin.
Having Lily hold my hand again, felt amazing, like electricity pulsing through my veins. She gently runs her opposite hand over my knuckles. I'm drunk and so is she, but we're not completely out of it. I don't want this moment to end, if it's the last time I'll hold her hand. I want to grab her and kiss her already, but I know I shouldn't.
When we get to the hotel we make our way through the lobby to the elevator. I hold her close to me, so she doesn't fall over, and when we get into the elevator, she leans against the wall.
"Remember the first time we kissed?" She asks quietly. I feel a smile, that I try to stop. I nod. She stays smiling at me, but I try to look away. She just looks so beautiful. But we have to move, it's time for us to get off, and she pulls me over to her again. "Pick me up." She says quietly, and I listen, as she wraps her legs around my waist. She has her forehead to mine, but her eyes are closed, as I carry her to the room, and pull the room key out of my back pocket, sliding it through. When I close the door behind me, I feel her hands trailing through my hair, and her legs are tightened around my waist.
"Where would you like to be put down?" I ask quietly, wobbling from the alcohol.
"The bed." she practically whispers still face to face. I start to place her down, but she pulls me down with her. "Remember the first time we kissed?" She asks once again, and I nod again, and this time she kisses my lips. I'm to drunk to process what just happened, but once I pull away, I realize that's what I've been wanting the whole night, and now it's my turn to return the kiss, and I do, with my lips tingling, and my stomach flowing with butterflies, and my skin hot with lust and love.
Lily, sweet Lily, is running her hands through my hair, and down my back, and I notice were still on the edge of the bed. She pushes me away playfully and crawls backwards, to the headboard, and her eyes watch me like a cat. She has this devilish grin gracing her lips, and I'm being reeled in like a fish. I climb up the bed towards her, taking off my jacket, before she's pulling me in by my shirt. She bites my lips and continues kissing me before I start to kiss her neck.
"I've missed you so much." She says pulling off my shirt. "I've missed you so incredibly much Austin."
"I missed you too." I reply, letting my hands travel up her dress. She helps me pull of her dress, and our skin is touching, and I've missed the feeling of this. I smell her hair, and the faint smell of her perfume. She lets out a moan as I run my hands down her body, and back up around her neck, pulling her in for a more passionate kiss, one that tells her I still love her, and I always will.
--
We spent the rest of the night skin on skin in each other's arms. We were sleeping off and on, until daylight shown behind the closed curtains. I missed having her there, but I knew between the kisses and the cuddling, she still had Adam to handle. How could something so wrong feel so right? I wish I could read her mind. She has been asleep for a while, and she kept her arm secured tightly around my waist. Her hair was a bit messy, but I loved it that way. She kept her head tucked just below my chin, and her breathing was quiet, and slow. I wanted it to stay this way, for as long as possible. I knew that once she woke up things would change.
I wake up later in the day, I look at the clock and it's already one-thirty. I hear Lily, she's talking on the phone. Crying.
"I don't know what to do, Felicity." She says sniffling. "I love Austin, but I love Adam too." I quietly sit up and listen to her words.
"It just happened, like of course I wanted it to happen, but it just happened so quickly, and it was amazing.. but I woke up this morning and felt wrong. What do I do?" she sounds stressed. "You're right, let me focus on the wedding. I'll tell him, eventually. Thanks for listening. bye." I lay back down quickly pretending to be asleep. I hear her quietly walk out of the bathroom and out to the balcony. I figure I should talk to her.
I walk to the balcony, and when I come out she doesn't even look at me. She's smoking a cigarette, I'm guessing to calm herself, she never smokes. She doesn't say a word and suddenly, I'm at a loss for words too. She takes a hit of the cigarette and puts it out in the ashtray.
"Austin it's not your job to say anything." She says after a long time. "What happened was a mistake." ouch.
"So what happens from here?"
"We go home, and act like last night never happened."
"Yeah, let's just pretend that our past never happened." I say sarcastically, angry. "I'm sick of this Lily, you love me don't you?" She nods, but doesn't look to me. "Then why is it hard? Why can't you just pick?" She looks at me, I can tell she's angry now too.
"Really Austin?" She folds her arms. "You're being so selfish. " she rolls her eyes. "Like the past. Austin, Austin, Austin."
"Are you kidding me? You're the selfish one here, you're not thinking about hurting me or Adam!" She has tears in her eyes, and now I know she is full of anger.
"Are you serious? That's all I've been thinking about!" She stands up, and walks away from me.
"Surely not last night." I follow her.
"Sure, that was all of my fault! You didn't want any of that." We're having a full on screaming match. "I'm sure I forced you into that sex last night, you didn't have the best time either, huh?!"
"I. I didn't mean that." I realize that I sounded a bit stupid.
"Sure, but you said it." She says, little tears rolling down her cheeks. "You know, out of everyone I thought you would understand, but clearly not. All I've done is think about you and Adam. How much I loved you both, and how much I needed both of you in my life, but clearly that's not enough for you... I don't know if it's enough for me." She covers her eyes, and starts crying hysterically.
"Lily--"
"Just don't say anything else." She stops me. "I'm marrying Adam, clearly, we can't go a few days without a fight about something." She says through tears. I just stand there, because my mind goes completely blank. She just turns and walks into the bathroom, and after I hear it lock I know she's not coming back out for a while. I get my clothes on and leave.
Lily.
I sat on the bathroom floor until my butt hurt. I was angry and upset and I had a whirlwind going around in my head. I heard Austin leave, and I wondered if he left for good. I stood up and made my way back to the balcony, where it was warm, and I took a cigarette out of the pack I bought, just to buy. I always smoked when I was stressed, but I never picked up the habit, and I didn't want to. I bring my phone with me, the crack screen thanks to the bathtub incident, I feel my heart fall into my stomach just thinking about it. I see a missed call from Adam. I hesitate but call back.
"Hey baby!" He says excited, and I want to cry.
"Hey." I say, "You called?"
"Sorry I haven't. I must have lost my charger at the airport, but I bought a new one, and guess what?"
"What?" I say, going along with this.
"I'm on my way home right now!"
"So early?" I ask.
"Yeah well, business went faster than we thought, so I'll be home by tonight, late tonight." I feel my mouth go dry.
"C-can't wait to see you." I stutter by accident.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah! Everything is great, can't wait to see you." I lie.
"Alright, well, I better go, having dinner before the airport. I love you."
"I love you too." I smile to myself. He says goodbye before hanging up, and I realize that I do love him, more than a lot of things. His voice made things feel better already. Just the soft, deep voice of his made me more soothed than the cigarette I was about to light up.
When I hear Austin come back into the hotel room, I don't turn around. I can't bring myself to look at him right now. He comes out to the balcony and sits beside me, just like earlier. He doesn't say anything to me, but he takes my hand and I know we should both apologize, but we don't.
"Austin, I have to get home." I say. "Adam is coming home early."
"Did you tell him?" he asks.
"No. I will one day though, when you find a place of your own." He nods. "let's get going." I say, and we both reluctantly stand up, and get ready to leave.
I wait impatiently for Lily to come out of the bathroom. I planned everything out for tonight, I wanted everything perfect. I had butterflies in my stomach, as if I was going on our first date, and I smile involuntarily. When I hear the door creak I feel excited, and I turn to face her. She looks stunning, though she always does.
"What?" She asks nervously shifting. "Austin?" I hadn't realized how much I was staring. Her brown eyes blinked slowly. Her hair was up in some kind of style, her dress showed her chest, her perfect natural tanned skin. She smiles and makes it look effortless, and I'm smiling too. She never fails to take my breath away. "Ready?" She asks me, and I can't find the words. I do nod, and lead her thought the door.
I had reservations for a fancy restaurant. It was quiet and I thought she'd love it. She was beautiful in the candle light as we popped champagne and pour ourselves a glass. We talked about everything. She laughed a lot, and that made me feel good. By the end of dinner, my cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much.
Lily.
Dinner was romantic and sweet. I felt the pain from laughing so much in my abdomen, but I was ready to head to the club with Austin. When we got there we grabbed some drinks and started dancing. I was having a lot of fun. I kept drinking and as I was getting drunk I felt myself getting closer to Austin. Letting him come right behind me. After a few hours of drunk dancing, and more drinks, Austin and I were both incredibly drunk.
The feeling of Austin's body on mine gave me chills, and when he whispered in my ear if I wanted to go back to the hotel, I nodded furiously, and he took my hand and led me outside. The air felt good on the back of my neck, and I was a bit dizzy, but Austin's keeping me from tumbling over, with his hands around my waist. We didn't say anything to each other, as we sat in the back of the cab, but I slid my hand over to Austin's hand and took it back in mine.
Austin.
Having Lily hold my hand again, felt amazing, like electricity pulsing through my veins. She gently runs her opposite hand over my knuckles. I'm drunk and so is she, but we're not completely out of it. I don't want this moment to end, if it's the last time I'll hold her hand. I want to grab her and kiss her already, but I know I shouldn't.
When we get to the hotel we make our way through the lobby to the elevator. I hold her close to me, so she doesn't fall over, and when we get into the elevator, she leans against the wall.
"Remember the first time we kissed?" She asks quietly. I feel a smile, that I try to stop. I nod. She stays smiling at me, but I try to look away. She just looks so beautiful. But we have to move, it's time for us to get off, and she pulls me over to her again. "Pick me up." She says quietly, and I listen, as she wraps her legs around my waist. She has her forehead to mine, but her eyes are closed, as I carry her to the room, and pull the room key out of my back pocket, sliding it through. When I close the door behind me, I feel her hands trailing through my hair, and her legs are tightened around my waist.
"Where would you like to be put down?" I ask quietly, wobbling from the alcohol.
"The bed." she practically whispers still face to face. I start to place her down, but she pulls me down with her. "Remember the first time we kissed?" She asks once again, and I nod again, and this time she kisses my lips. I'm to drunk to process what just happened, but once I pull away, I realize that's what I've been wanting the whole night, and now it's my turn to return the kiss, and I do, with my lips tingling, and my stomach flowing with butterflies, and my skin hot with lust and love.
Lily, sweet Lily, is running her hands through my hair, and down my back, and I notice were still on the edge of the bed. She pushes me away playfully and crawls backwards, to the headboard, and her eyes watch me like a cat. She has this devilish grin gracing her lips, and I'm being reeled in like a fish. I climb up the bed towards her, taking off my jacket, before she's pulling me in by my shirt. She bites my lips and continues kissing me before I start to kiss her neck.
"I've missed you so much." She says pulling off my shirt. "I've missed you so incredibly much Austin."
"I missed you too." I reply, letting my hands travel up her dress. She helps me pull of her dress, and our skin is touching, and I've missed the feeling of this. I smell her hair, and the faint smell of her perfume. She lets out a moan as I run my hands down her body, and back up around her neck, pulling her in for a more passionate kiss, one that tells her I still love her, and I always will.
--
We spent the rest of the night skin on skin in each other's arms. We were sleeping off and on, until daylight shown behind the closed curtains. I missed having her there, but I knew between the kisses and the cuddling, she still had Adam to handle. How could something so wrong feel so right? I wish I could read her mind. She has been asleep for a while, and she kept her arm secured tightly around my waist. Her hair was a bit messy, but I loved it that way. She kept her head tucked just below my chin, and her breathing was quiet, and slow. I wanted it to stay this way, for as long as possible. I knew that once she woke up things would change.
I wake up later in the day, I look at the clock and it's already one-thirty. I hear Lily, she's talking on the phone. Crying.
"I don't know what to do, Felicity." She says sniffling. "I love Austin, but I love Adam too." I quietly sit up and listen to her words.
"It just happened, like of course I wanted it to happen, but it just happened so quickly, and it was amazing.. but I woke up this morning and felt wrong. What do I do?" she sounds stressed. "You're right, let me focus on the wedding. I'll tell him, eventually. Thanks for listening. bye." I lay back down quickly pretending to be asleep. I hear her quietly walk out of the bathroom and out to the balcony. I figure I should talk to her.
I walk to the balcony, and when I come out she doesn't even look at me. She's smoking a cigarette, I'm guessing to calm herself, she never smokes. She doesn't say a word and suddenly, I'm at a loss for words too. She takes a hit of the cigarette and puts it out in the ashtray.
"Austin it's not your job to say anything." She says after a long time. "What happened was a mistake." ouch.
"So what happens from here?"
"We go home, and act like last night never happened."
"Yeah, let's just pretend that our past never happened." I say sarcastically, angry. "I'm sick of this Lily, you love me don't you?" She nods, but doesn't look to me. "Then why is it hard? Why can't you just pick?" She looks at me, I can tell she's angry now too.
"Really Austin?" She folds her arms. "You're being so selfish. " she rolls her eyes. "Like the past. Austin, Austin, Austin."
"Are you kidding me? You're the selfish one here, you're not thinking about hurting me or Adam!" She has tears in her eyes, and now I know she is full of anger.
"Are you serious? That's all I've been thinking about!" She stands up, and walks away from me.
"Surely not last night." I follow her.
"Sure, that was all of my fault! You didn't want any of that." We're having a full on screaming match. "I'm sure I forced you into that sex last night, you didn't have the best time either, huh?!"
"I. I didn't mean that." I realize that I sounded a bit stupid.
"Sure, but you said it." She says, little tears rolling down her cheeks. "You know, out of everyone I thought you would understand, but clearly not. All I've done is think about you and Adam. How much I loved you both, and how much I needed both of you in my life, but clearly that's not enough for you... I don't know if it's enough for me." She covers her eyes, and starts crying hysterically.
"Lily--"
"Just don't say anything else." She stops me. "I'm marrying Adam, clearly, we can't go a few days without a fight about something." She says through tears. I just stand there, because my mind goes completely blank. She just turns and walks into the bathroom, and after I hear it lock I know she's not coming back out for a while. I get my clothes on and leave.
Lily.
I sat on the bathroom floor until my butt hurt. I was angry and upset and I had a whirlwind going around in my head. I heard Austin leave, and I wondered if he left for good. I stood up and made my way back to the balcony, where it was warm, and I took a cigarette out of the pack I bought, just to buy. I always smoked when I was stressed, but I never picked up the habit, and I didn't want to. I bring my phone with me, the crack screen thanks to the bathtub incident, I feel my heart fall into my stomach just thinking about it. I see a missed call from Adam. I hesitate but call back.
"Hey baby!" He says excited, and I want to cry.
"Hey." I say, "You called?"
"Sorry I haven't. I must have lost my charger at the airport, but I bought a new one, and guess what?"
"What?" I say, going along with this.
"I'm on my way home right now!"
"So early?" I ask.
"Yeah well, business went faster than we thought, so I'll be home by tonight, late tonight." I feel my mouth go dry.
"C-can't wait to see you." I stutter by accident.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah! Everything is great, can't wait to see you." I lie.
"Alright, well, I better go, having dinner before the airport. I love you."
"I love you too." I smile to myself. He says goodbye before hanging up, and I realize that I do love him, more than a lot of things. His voice made things feel better already. Just the soft, deep voice of his made me more soothed than the cigarette I was about to light up.
When I hear Austin come back into the hotel room, I don't turn around. I can't bring myself to look at him right now. He comes out to the balcony and sits beside me, just like earlier. He doesn't say anything to me, but he takes my hand and I know we should both apologize, but we don't.
"Austin, I have to get home." I say. "Adam is coming home early."
"Did you tell him?" he asks.
"No. I will one day though, when you find a place of your own." He nods. "let's get going." I say, and we both reluctantly stand up, and get ready to leave.
8/19/13