This One is for You.
Only Baby Scars
I step onto my new summer home. It's bigger than I would have expected, but I could bet I wouldn't think so in a few weeks. I marveled at the bus as Austin gave me a tour. First the front lounge, big TV's and a couch and little table. Then, he shows me the back lounge, currently no one is residing, but he says it's where they like to hangout, play video games, things like that. He shows me the top bunk, where I would be spending my next few months sleeping. The bathroom and even a shower which was a sigh of relief for me. The tour ends back up front, where the boys have gathered sitting around eating breakfast.
"This is amazing." I say sitting between Austin and Alan on the couch by what is now the kitchen and living room. It was different, but I knew I would have to love it.
"Our home most of the time." Alan says typing away on his phone. "I need a picture for instagram." He stands up and walks to a mirror that's hanging on the bathroom door. I watch as everyone rolls their eyes at him. I laugh at this.
"You're really conceded." I say to him.
"I'm very pretty." He says after taking another 'selfie' shot of himself. He sits back next to me, and I check my phone for his newest shot. The bus driver gets on the bus and announces our departure, and then our summer really begins. I feel a bit of sadness leaving my apartment behind, but I know I won't regret this upcoming summer...
A few hours later we're at the venue, getting our all-access passes. A laminated picture of me, I took two days ago. I hang it from the lanyard around my neck as everyone else clips it to their belts or in their back pockets. I jump onto Austin's back as we head outside, the boys want to go meet up with friends.
"Remember when I was in high school, and I couldn't even do this." I laugh as he carries me, my arms holding him around his chest.
"Ah, be quiet." He says. "You wouldn't let me."
"I'd crush you." I say quietly. I know what he did without even looking, he rolled his eyes, and I hear him sigh. The same reaction I've always got. I decided to keep quiet and wait until we got to our destination. The sun was already burning hot today, and I knew the rest of the day it would get worse.
"Austin!" I hear an unfamiliar voice come from someone who runs up and jumps into his arms, hugging him quickly.
"Kellin! How are you!?" He asks excited.
"Ah I'm fine, you know I'm a dad now!" He says smiling.
"I need to meet her still!" Austin says.
"She's great." He smiles. "Here's some pictures."
"I seen the ones you posted on instagram." He says taking his phone and swiping through the pictures. "She's beautiful man! Congrats!" He says. They both laugh. I stand there awkwardly. I knew who he was, I've heard his band before. I was a bit nervous to.
"Who's this? Your lucky lady?" He asks nodding towards me.
"Oh no." Austin and I are used to this question, but we still turn pink every time. "My best friend!"
"I'm Lily I smile and shake his hand."
"Well nice to meet you lily." He smiles. "I've got to run, catch up with you later?" He says to Austin.
"Yeah man!" he replies and we're off our different way too. I follow Austin around like a little puppy. He introduces me to so many other people, some band members, some tech people, some girls and some guys. It seems like Austin is friendly with so many people. Especially his fans.
When he and I get back to the bus we're already sweating. I don't even want to wear clothes at this point. I grab some paper towels and wash the sweat away.
"We go on at 2 today! Signing at 4." Alan is drinking a beer and hands one to Austin. I pass on it. I'm not a day drinker. "First show since when?" he says.
"April?" Austin says. I love how their all excited to play. They all look as if they are going to win a million dollars or something. I loved seeing this expression on their faces, they were so passionate about what they did.
By the time showtime rolled around, we were escorted to the stage by security. Girls and guys ran up to the guys trying to get autographs and hugs but they were rushed ahead to the stage. When they got behind the scenes, they all began stretching and Austin and Aaron both practiced vocal warm ups. The tech crew was working quickly to get everything set up and tuned. I heard the crowd clapping along to the drums.
"Can I go on stage?" I ask a crew member who nods and quickly runs up to the stage with a bunch of wires. I go up and look out onto the crowd that formed. I raise my camera and they all raise their hands and cheer. I smile as I take some shots and head off stage. I find the boys in a huddle and behind me, intro music begins to play. I hear the crowd roar like thunder, clapping their hands and screaming waiting for heir idols to take the stage. I take some shots of the guys in the huddle. One by one the head onstage to the intro music.
"Have fun." I smile to Austin who is waiting for his cue.
"Thanks, you too." He grins widely as he heads onstage. I didn't think the crowd could get any louder, but they did. I head to the press pit just in time, as the band begins their first song. The crowd erupts with the music.
The boys aren't themselves onstage, they are completely enveloped in the music. I get some great shots of all of them, and the crowd. For a moment I forget everything, I am now under the spell of Of Mice & Men. Austin controls the crowd, he is like Poseidon to the sea of people before him. They don't stop moving, Austin won't let them.
By the end of the set, right before 'Second & Sebring' I am snapped back to reality and take more shots. I know how much this song means to Austin. He jumps into the crowd that is singing his words so loudly, you can bet the whole venue can hear them.
"This is not what it is only baby scars!" They sing. "I need your love like a boy needs his mothers side!" So loudly, I feel these words as they sing them with heart. These lyrics tell a story for everyone in the crowd. They reach out to each and every person in one way or another. I find myself singing them, closing my eyes, letting them sink in, feeling them hit my heart and soul. I feel tears in my eyes. They sting and I quickly shut them, to hide them from the world. The set is over, but I'm still standing in the same spot I started taking photos in. I have never seen them like this. I loved every moment of it.
I find Phil, Tino, Alan, and Aaron backstage, drinking water and monster. They are smiling so big right now, and hoping around still. I didn't say anything, I jut drew them all into a huge hug.
"You were all so..." I can't even find the right word, so I go with, "Amazing." They all blush a bit and thank me, before we head back to the bus.
Austin is outside waiting for us and I run up to him jumping into his arms. "You were phenomenal." I say holding him so tightly, I might break him. He giggles.
"Thank you." He says quietly. "I'm glad you came to my first show of tour, and you'll be here for the rest." I laugh and jump from his arms. "I got some great shots too. I say as we head into the tour bus for a little rest period.
Before I can blink the boys are whisked away, the signing and a few interviews are scheduled so I stay back and decided to take a nap. I'm being woken up by Alan and Tino's voices singing loudly in the front of the bus.
"Wow, you've been up there the whole time?" Tino says as he was walking by. I look at him confused. "It's only 9 at night, you were passed out girl." He says. I groan and climb out. I missed so much.
"Party time!" Alan's saying to someone at the front. I turn to see Aaron and Austin pouring drinks.
I grab new clothes to change into for the nights festivities. I let my hair down, and fix my smudged makeup. Black jeans and a black top that shows off my stomach. I've been working hard on it, I might as well show it off. I even put on heels and a hat. I'm ready to meet new friends.
When I come back to the front of the bus where a small crowd has gathered of the band and tech guys, everyone turns to look at me. I felt great at this moment, but I blush a bit. A whole bunch of guys with their attention to me? Crazy. I smile and Austin comes right over, handing me a drink. I take it with a thank you, and let the night begin.
We head over to another tour bus, and there's a whole bunch of people already inside. I follow Austin through the crowd, some girls give me dirty looks, others smile. The music is loud and people are dancing, and I've never seen a small party like this. I drink a good amount before I open up, and jump in dancing around with everyone else. I feel hands on my hips and for the first time, I don't really care who it is. We dance close together, and I know it's a guy, he smells great, but familiar, and when I turn to face him, I'm surprised.
"Hi." I say in his ear.
"Having fun?" He asks. I laugh and nod grabbing his hands and spinning myself around again so he's close behind me. Who would have thought? We drink together and dance more, and when I'm on my fourth drink, he pulls me through the crowd and outside. We're both laughing as I stand up my back against the bus. I'm drunk and I don't care. I don't think he does either, and besides, we've been in a similar position before.
"I'm supposed to be meeting new people." I say finishing my drink. He makes a sad face. "Ah, but who cares?" I say pulling him to me, kissing his lips, those familiar lips. So wrong but so right. This was fun for me, I've been cooped up for to long, my last relationship was months ago, and I was in a funk until I was asked to come on Warped Tour. This was fun...
His hands are lingering everywhere, lusting after me. High school memories are flowing back into my head. I feel him smile in this sloppy, drunk kiss. He stops and leaves his forehead to mine. His grin is childish in a way and I laugh more as he pulls me with him. I see people moving by but I can't really see anything. His arm is around my waist, gripping me, keeping me steady. I kiss his neck when I get the chance. We're back in the bus, undressing to his bunk. His lips never leave mine, even as he unbuckles his own pants. This is fun... I think as I push him into his bunk and shut the curtain.
"This is amazing." I say sitting between Austin and Alan on the couch by what is now the kitchen and living room. It was different, but I knew I would have to love it.
"Our home most of the time." Alan says typing away on his phone. "I need a picture for instagram." He stands up and walks to a mirror that's hanging on the bathroom door. I watch as everyone rolls their eyes at him. I laugh at this.
"You're really conceded." I say to him.
"I'm very pretty." He says after taking another 'selfie' shot of himself. He sits back next to me, and I check my phone for his newest shot. The bus driver gets on the bus and announces our departure, and then our summer really begins. I feel a bit of sadness leaving my apartment behind, but I know I won't regret this upcoming summer...
A few hours later we're at the venue, getting our all-access passes. A laminated picture of me, I took two days ago. I hang it from the lanyard around my neck as everyone else clips it to their belts or in their back pockets. I jump onto Austin's back as we head outside, the boys want to go meet up with friends.
"Remember when I was in high school, and I couldn't even do this." I laugh as he carries me, my arms holding him around his chest.
"Ah, be quiet." He says. "You wouldn't let me."
"I'd crush you." I say quietly. I know what he did without even looking, he rolled his eyes, and I hear him sigh. The same reaction I've always got. I decided to keep quiet and wait until we got to our destination. The sun was already burning hot today, and I knew the rest of the day it would get worse.
"Austin!" I hear an unfamiliar voice come from someone who runs up and jumps into his arms, hugging him quickly.
"Kellin! How are you!?" He asks excited.
"Ah I'm fine, you know I'm a dad now!" He says smiling.
"I need to meet her still!" Austin says.
"She's great." He smiles. "Here's some pictures."
"I seen the ones you posted on instagram." He says taking his phone and swiping through the pictures. "She's beautiful man! Congrats!" He says. They both laugh. I stand there awkwardly. I knew who he was, I've heard his band before. I was a bit nervous to.
"Who's this? Your lucky lady?" He asks nodding towards me.
"Oh no." Austin and I are used to this question, but we still turn pink every time. "My best friend!"
"I'm Lily I smile and shake his hand."
"Well nice to meet you lily." He smiles. "I've got to run, catch up with you later?" He says to Austin.
"Yeah man!" he replies and we're off our different way too. I follow Austin around like a little puppy. He introduces me to so many other people, some band members, some tech people, some girls and some guys. It seems like Austin is friendly with so many people. Especially his fans.
When he and I get back to the bus we're already sweating. I don't even want to wear clothes at this point. I grab some paper towels and wash the sweat away.
"We go on at 2 today! Signing at 4." Alan is drinking a beer and hands one to Austin. I pass on it. I'm not a day drinker. "First show since when?" he says.
"April?" Austin says. I love how their all excited to play. They all look as if they are going to win a million dollars or something. I loved seeing this expression on their faces, they were so passionate about what they did.
By the time showtime rolled around, we were escorted to the stage by security. Girls and guys ran up to the guys trying to get autographs and hugs but they were rushed ahead to the stage. When they got behind the scenes, they all began stretching and Austin and Aaron both practiced vocal warm ups. The tech crew was working quickly to get everything set up and tuned. I heard the crowd clapping along to the drums.
"Can I go on stage?" I ask a crew member who nods and quickly runs up to the stage with a bunch of wires. I go up and look out onto the crowd that formed. I raise my camera and they all raise their hands and cheer. I smile as I take some shots and head off stage. I find the boys in a huddle and behind me, intro music begins to play. I hear the crowd roar like thunder, clapping their hands and screaming waiting for heir idols to take the stage. I take some shots of the guys in the huddle. One by one the head onstage to the intro music.
"Have fun." I smile to Austin who is waiting for his cue.
"Thanks, you too." He grins widely as he heads onstage. I didn't think the crowd could get any louder, but they did. I head to the press pit just in time, as the band begins their first song. The crowd erupts with the music.
The boys aren't themselves onstage, they are completely enveloped in the music. I get some great shots of all of them, and the crowd. For a moment I forget everything, I am now under the spell of Of Mice & Men. Austin controls the crowd, he is like Poseidon to the sea of people before him. They don't stop moving, Austin won't let them.
By the end of the set, right before 'Second & Sebring' I am snapped back to reality and take more shots. I know how much this song means to Austin. He jumps into the crowd that is singing his words so loudly, you can bet the whole venue can hear them.
"This is not what it is only baby scars!" They sing. "I need your love like a boy needs his mothers side!" So loudly, I feel these words as they sing them with heart. These lyrics tell a story for everyone in the crowd. They reach out to each and every person in one way or another. I find myself singing them, closing my eyes, letting them sink in, feeling them hit my heart and soul. I feel tears in my eyes. They sting and I quickly shut them, to hide them from the world. The set is over, but I'm still standing in the same spot I started taking photos in. I have never seen them like this. I loved every moment of it.
I find Phil, Tino, Alan, and Aaron backstage, drinking water and monster. They are smiling so big right now, and hoping around still. I didn't say anything, I jut drew them all into a huge hug.
"You were all so..." I can't even find the right word, so I go with, "Amazing." They all blush a bit and thank me, before we head back to the bus.
Austin is outside waiting for us and I run up to him jumping into his arms. "You were phenomenal." I say holding him so tightly, I might break him. He giggles.
"Thank you." He says quietly. "I'm glad you came to my first show of tour, and you'll be here for the rest." I laugh and jump from his arms. "I got some great shots too. I say as we head into the tour bus for a little rest period.
Before I can blink the boys are whisked away, the signing and a few interviews are scheduled so I stay back and decided to take a nap. I'm being woken up by Alan and Tino's voices singing loudly in the front of the bus.
"Wow, you've been up there the whole time?" Tino says as he was walking by. I look at him confused. "It's only 9 at night, you were passed out girl." He says. I groan and climb out. I missed so much.
"Party time!" Alan's saying to someone at the front. I turn to see Aaron and Austin pouring drinks.
I grab new clothes to change into for the nights festivities. I let my hair down, and fix my smudged makeup. Black jeans and a black top that shows off my stomach. I've been working hard on it, I might as well show it off. I even put on heels and a hat. I'm ready to meet new friends.
When I come back to the front of the bus where a small crowd has gathered of the band and tech guys, everyone turns to look at me. I felt great at this moment, but I blush a bit. A whole bunch of guys with their attention to me? Crazy. I smile and Austin comes right over, handing me a drink. I take it with a thank you, and let the night begin.
We head over to another tour bus, and there's a whole bunch of people already inside. I follow Austin through the crowd, some girls give me dirty looks, others smile. The music is loud and people are dancing, and I've never seen a small party like this. I drink a good amount before I open up, and jump in dancing around with everyone else. I feel hands on my hips and for the first time, I don't really care who it is. We dance close together, and I know it's a guy, he smells great, but familiar, and when I turn to face him, I'm surprised.
"Hi." I say in his ear.
"Having fun?" He asks. I laugh and nod grabbing his hands and spinning myself around again so he's close behind me. Who would have thought? We drink together and dance more, and when I'm on my fourth drink, he pulls me through the crowd and outside. We're both laughing as I stand up my back against the bus. I'm drunk and I don't care. I don't think he does either, and besides, we've been in a similar position before.
"I'm supposed to be meeting new people." I say finishing my drink. He makes a sad face. "Ah, but who cares?" I say pulling him to me, kissing his lips, those familiar lips. So wrong but so right. This was fun for me, I've been cooped up for to long, my last relationship was months ago, and I was in a funk until I was asked to come on Warped Tour. This was fun...
His hands are lingering everywhere, lusting after me. High school memories are flowing back into my head. I feel him smile in this sloppy, drunk kiss. He stops and leaves his forehead to mine. His grin is childish in a way and I laugh more as he pulls me with him. I see people moving by but I can't really see anything. His arm is around my waist, gripping me, keeping me steady. I kiss his neck when I get the chance. We're back in the bus, undressing to his bunk. His lips never leave mine, even as he unbuckles his own pants. This is fun... I think as I push him into his bunk and shut the curtain.
8/14/13