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July 1, 2012 - Houston, Texas

It was 8:30 in the morning and I was lying awake in my bunk replaying the events of the night before. I hadn’t gotten much sleep, which was strange. Typically the movement of the moving bus put me right to sleep but my mind had been too preoccupied last night for that to happen. Even still, hours later, I couldn’t get my mind to settle down.

Austin had asked me out. Wasn’t alcohol supposed to be like truth serum to people? But that didn’t necessarily mean it worked that way on him. I had never seen him as drunk as he was last night before.

My phone vibrated under my pillow and I wondered who could be texting me this early. I reached up with my right arm behind me and awkwardly groped around under the pillow trying to make contact with my phone, but really just slapping my mattress repeatedly. Finally my fingers grasped it and I pulled it out, blinking at the bright screen as my eyes adjusted to the sudden bright light. I slid the bar across, typed in my password, and tried to read the text.

Austin: If you’re awake and you have hangover supplies, please, please, please come take care of me…

Rolling my eyes I giggled a little and typed out a quick response that I would be there soon. I rolled out of bed, deciding my t-shirt and PJ shorts were fine to wear and I’d just change later when I came back. I threw on some Tom’s and grabbed a bottle of ibuprofen out of my purse. I found a Gatorade in the fridge and a can of ginger ale. I grabbed a box of crackers for good measure and headed out into the bright summer morning. Of Mice & Men’s bus was parked right across from ours for once.

I opened the bus door and as soon as I did I heard Austin saying something about me. Holding my breath, I shut the door slowly behind me.

“Raegan’s coming over. Dude, what the hell did I do last night?”

“Well, do you want the good or the bad?” Alan’s voice answered.

“Uh, give me the bad first…”

“Well, you practically pissed yourself in the port-a-potty. Then you wouldn’t get out of it and I had to leave you there and go find Raegan because you were begging me to get her. Then she helped me drag your ass back here and you were questioning her about Jack-“

“What?! Barakat?! What does he have to do with anything?”

“I’m not entirely sure…anyway…you were asking if she had feeling for him and she said no. So we got back here, and Tino came out and him and I carried you in and into your bunk. And you were yelling for Rae so she came over and came to tuck you in and you were confessing how much you like her and you asked her out-“

“Please tell me she was as equally drunk as I was and doesn’t remember any of it…”

“Oh no. She was pretty sober.” Alan assured him.

“Fuck, man…” Austin said with a sigh. “She probably feels so awkward coming over here…I’m such a fucking dick.”

“You want the good now?” Alan asked him.

“Wait! What’d she say?! Are we dating?”

“No. She said no.”

I couldn’t take listening to this anymore so I reached behind me and opened and closed the door loudly this time. I thundered up the stairs and forced a smile on my face as I stepped into the front lounge.

“Who said no?” I asked smiling as I walked over to their little kitchen counter and placed the stuff that was in my arms down.

“Well you di-“ Alan started to say but Austin interrupted him with a quick, “No one! How are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“So sick…” he chuckled coming and standing next to me as I counted out pills. The feel of him being close to me sent shivers down my spine.

“Here.” I said handing him the little brown pills. He was towering over me, shirtless; as his brown eyes met mine he smiled his thanks. He took them and a sip from a water bottle that was on the counter and made his way back to the couch lying down with a sigh.

“My head is pounding…” He said holding his tattooed hand against his forehead.

“I brought you some Gatorade and ginger ale.” I said tearing my eyes from his “forgiven” tattoo and taking the drinks from the counter. “I’m putting them in the fridge.”

“Thank you so much Raegan.” He said smiling at me when I turned around.

“You’re welcome.” I said walking closer towards him…and the door. “What time is your set?”

“I don’t know…” Austin said shaking his head.

“Uh, three!” Alan said behind me.

“Three.” Austin said with a satisfied smile gazing into my eyes.

“Kay,” I said with a chuckle. “Well, make sure you rest and get some fluids in you. Lot’s of them! And there’s crackers too. Eat those.” I leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the forehead.

“Oh this is so going on Instagram!” Alan exclaimed excitedly behind us, making us both turn to look.

“What’s going on Instagram?” Austin asked.

“Oh, you’ll see…” Alan replied devilishly.
Rolling my eyes I turned back to Austin. “I’ll see you later. Text me if you need me. Bye, Alan.”

“Bye Rae!” They both called as I headed towards the door.

“Dude, what are you putting on Instagram?” I heard Austin ask Alan as I stepped outside the door.

I pulled my phone out of my bra, I usually put it here when I had no pockets, and opened up my Instagram app. I was dying to know what it was that Alan had uploaded. The first thing that popped up when I opened was a picture of me bent over kissing Austin’s head; he had a pleasant smile spread across his face, his hands folded across his bare chest.

“Nurse @RaeJones taking care of a very hungover @austincarlile…how cute #IShipIt” was Alan’s comment under the picture. There were already 34 comments on it.

“Walk of shame Rae?”

I looked up to see Jack and Alex smirking at me as they headed towards the venue.

“I was giving Austin some ibuprofen and ginger ale.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Suurrreeee…” Alex said walking off with Jack as they both laughed.

“I’m going to kill Alan…” I mumbled as I climbed onto the bus. I plopped down onto one of the couches in the front lounge and started scrolling through some of the comments on the picture.

“Wait, who is this girl?”


“If Alan ships it…I ship it…”

“Ew, I don’t like this Raegan girl. First she’s all over All Time Low, now Of Mice & Men…”

“I hope they don’t date :\”

“How can anyone not like Raegan?! She’s so pretty & funny!”

It suddenly hit me full force that being on this tour was going to send a lot of scrutinizing my way. I had known All Time Low for years now; their fans had accepted me a long time ago. Most of them had become fans of my own; some of them of course still didn’t like me. But Of Mice & Men was a whole different group of kids. Some of these fans could be ruthless, all claiming Austin as their own.
He was their hero and the love of their lives. They were clearly going to tear me apart like a wolf with a piece of meat.

Austin: Thank you so much for bringing me this stuff, Rae. You have no idea how much it means to me. Do you think I could see you for a bit tonight?

Austin’s text made me smile wide. I quickly agreed to meet him tonight at 7 behind the buses.


Char had made triple sure that everything about me looked absolutely flawless before I went to meet Austin. I promised not to be gone long and that we would have a movie date in the back lounge when I got back.

“Are you sure it’s not too much?” I asked smoothing out my lace top and looking down at my denim shorts.

“No! You’re fine! You look really, really cute Rae. Calm down!” She gave me a quick hug before sliding into the seat at the table and opening up her laptop. “I’m going to catch up on some emails. You better go! You’ll be late!”

“Thanks Char, you’re the absolute best.” I said smiling. I turned on my heel and stepped out into the night.

I skipped along as I walked to where I was supposed to meet Austin. I couldn’t contain my excitement to see him again. It suddenly felt like it had been years since our brown eyes had met.

He was standing with his back against Of Mice & Men’s trailer, the light from his phone was creating deeps shadows in the features on his face.

“Hi,” I said as I made my way closer to him.

He looked up at me and a smile instantly spread across his face. Locking his phone and shoving it into his pocket he said, “Hey.”

I stopped a about two feet in front of him as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and leaned forward slightly.

“You look really pretty, Rae…” He said looking me up and down and shaking his head a little bit.

“Thank you.” I blushed, biting my lip at his compliment.

“Look, there’s a reason I asked you here. And it wasn’t to just be all weird and awkward and compliment you.” He sighed as he spoke, raising his right arm to rub the back of his neck as he figured out how to get his thoughts out in the open. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“Austin, you don’t have to apologize for that.”

“Yeah, I do. I made an ass out of myself in front of you. You’re the last person I want to look like an ass in front of.”

A silence fell between us as I let him think about what he wanted to say. It looked as though he was really struggling with himself about how to tell me whatever it was he wanted to, and I was really worried it was something bad. Maybe he didn’t even want to be my friend…

“I’m sorry that I came onto you the very first day we met. Hearing you singing on that stage just made me want to get to know you instantaneously. I thought you were so beautiful and I loved that you had the same passion for music I have. I guess when I thought I wasn’t going to see you again; I did something I shouldn’t have. I was selfish and I used you.”

The color was slowly draining from my face. This was not how I expected this conversation to go. I had been hoping he was going to press me up against the stupid trailer and confess his undying love for me. I wanted to run; I didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say about the matter. But my feet wouldn’t move, even though I was begging them to. They were glued right there to that spot in the grass as my heart started to shatter into a million pieces.

“And then when I found out you were going to stay here, I felt awful for doing that to you. And I told myself I’d make it up to you and I’d tell you everything but I could never bring myself to. All those times we hung out I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you everything.” He wasn’t meeting my eyes anymore. He was staring down at his black vans. “What I said last night, Rae, I didn’t mean it, well I mean-“

“Austin!” I yelled out stopping him. My eyes were closed with frustration and hurt. I had to make him stop talking and I had to get back to my bus. “Just, please stop. It’s fine, I get it. I’ll leave you alone now.”

I turned on my heel and started making my way back towards my bus.

“Wha-Rae! Raegan!” His arm caught mine and he spun me around so now I was up against the trailer. Our breathing was heavy as we both stood there. He dropped his grip on my arm, but I could still feel the lingering touch of his fingers on my skin. “Please look at me and let me finish.”
Slowly I turned my gaze upwards and found his in the dark night.

“I meant what I said last night about really liking you, Rae. I really, really like you.” He took another step closer to me, further filling the already miniscule gap that was between us. “I just didn’t mean to ask you out, at least not yet. Please don’t think that I hate you or something, because I like you so much.”

He leaned down placing his forehead against mine as we gazed into each other eyes. He was waiting for some queue from me to make sure that what he was doing was okay. His hands moved up and found a place on my hips. My body was numb. There was no way this could be happening. I dropped my gaze from him for a minute. Part of me was screaming at me to run; that this wouldn’t be worth it. I was so terrified of his fans and their reaction to me if we started dating. I was so stupid to think this was going to work. But the other part of me was telling me that this was fun. It was crazy and reckless and I loved every single second of it.

My eyes shot up and found his again. I leaned forward and brought my lips up to his and he eagerly pushed his back against mine. It was a simple kiss; it wasn’t filled with the same lust or passion our last kiss had had. But it was filled with a mutual understanding we both now had for each other’s feelings.

As scary and treacherous as this path I had suddenly decided to take was, I found that I didn’t want to veer off course in the slightest. I wanted to see all that Austin and I could and would be.


I loved this story, you write very well. (:
Julia Gate Julia Gate
eliseypoo eliseypoo
Just gimme more!
I honestly almost had a heart attack when i saw the epilogue
Love_Muzic Love_Muzic
I absolutely love this! I'm so glad Austin's dad likes her so much :)
eliseypoo eliseypoo