I'm A Monster (An Austin Carlile Fanfiction)
Chapter 3
Austins pov
I woke up with my arms snaked around Iris’ small petite body. She looked so cute when she was asleep. I carried her to her bunk which was labelled ‘Ree’s Star Wars bunk’ None of their crew or anyone in her band were called Ree so I gathered it was hers. As I laid her down her shirt came up a little showing her right hip. There was scratches all over it, I gasped in shock. I slowly turned her onto her back and they were also on her left hip. I checked her arms, she had cut there previously but they had healed and were just barely noticeable scars now. I sat on the floor, a tear rolling down my left cheek. Why didn’t I notice before? What was I supposed to do? Do I tell her I saw them? No, wait until she tells me. But what if she never tells me? What if she carries on hurting herself? I couldn’t tell her to stop could I? She obviously doesn’t want me to know but I need to say something, I can’t live knowing about it when she hasn’t even told me. I left a note on the pillow for her when she wakes up."Text or ring me when you wake up? I need to speak to you. You look really cute by the way when you sleep ;) <3"
I walked back to my bus and jumped into the shower, the guys were still asleep probably hungover. I got changed into the clothes I had grabbed from my bunk earlier. I was about to walk into the back lounge when I heard laughing from in there. I walked back and checked all the bunks everyone was their but Alan, it sounded like he was with Jenna.
I grabbed a bottle of water and headed out of the bus. I wondered around and found a patch of grass which seemed pretty far from the car park so I decided to stay there for a while. My phone started ringing in my pocket I new who it was before I answered.
Iris: Hi, I’m awake. What do you want to talk about?
Austin: Can you meet me at the patch of grass behind the car park?
Iris: Sure, I’m on my way now.
I hung up and laid my phone onto the grass and led down trying to think of what I was going to say. I felt a shadow cast over me, I opened my eyes to see her peering over me.
Iris: “Hey. What do you wanna talk about" She sat down beside me.
Austin: “Hi…err….I know it has nothing to do with me but…when I carried you back to your bunk this morning…err…your shirt slipped up a bit and I-I saw the scratches on your hips.."
Iris: “I-I…errr…"
Tears started to fall down her beautiful face. I tear fell down my cheek as well. Why did I say something? I should of just left it.
Austin: I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of said anything."
I started walking a way when I heard her say something barely making a sound. I sat back down next to her and she started again.
Iris: “It started when I was 13. My dad sexually abused me neither Jack or my mum new. He was also an alcoholic. One day after he came back from the bar he hit my mum and she was badly injured. I called an ambulance and because I did my dad hit me, what am I saying he isn’t my dad and never has been. I wasn’t as injured as my mum but I was still hurt. Jack was at Jake’s house for tea. I woke up in the hospital. I asked a nurse why I was there and she told me I had 3 broken ribs and my left leg was fractured. My dad hurt my mum so much she..err..she died in hospital. After that I turned to cutting. I thought it was the only way I could cope but then I found music. I still do cut but just not as often because music is my new escape. Me and Josh bought a house together and spent most of our time in the basement playing music. Jack played guitar whilst I sang. We wrote some of our best songs in that cramped basement. We then found the rest of the guys and decided to form a band. I never stopped cutting, it’s become a part of me y’know. I-I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me, I get it."
By now tears were falling freely down both of our faces. I pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. She finally told me her secret, and the secret her brother didn’t know. She opened up to me.
Austin: “I would never leave you. I have never cared for anyone more in my life than I care about you….I love you Iris…"
Oh fuck!! Why did I say that? I meant it but I didn’t want to tell her…fuck!!
Iris: “W-w-what?"
Austin: "..I-I love you.."
Iris’ pov
It felt nice to let it all out, I was glad I told him. Whenever I was around him I felt safe, like he was the only person I could trust…probably more than Jack…
"I love you"
When those words left his mouth my body went into shock. Did he really love me or did he just feel sorry for me? Right now I didn’t care I was so tired I just wanted to sleep. My eyes started to feel heavy so I buried my head into Austin’s chest falling fast asleep.
I woke up still on the same patch of grass I had fallen asleep on. I checked the time to see how long I had until my set. “Shit" “Whats wrong babe?" God his voice when he woke up was so hot. “My set is in 2 minutes. I need to go Austin, I’m sorry. Ill meet you here later?" “Sure, see you later babe" He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before quickly pulling away.
I ran to the stage in a matter of minutes, God i need to get into shape. When I saw the guys I tried to hide the massive grin that was plastered on my face, thank’s Austin. “What are you so smiley about?" Sam asked in a confused yet happy tone. “Nothing, come on! Get your asses on stage now."
The set was AMAZING, it was our best show yet. I couldn’t help but think of Austin though. When he told me he liked me at the beach and then I told him about my past and he said he loved me, I was just so confused it was unbelievable. I walked back to the patch of grass but Austin wasn’t there so I text him to see where he was.
Iris: “Hey, where are you? x"
I didn’t get a reply for quite a while. Anyway, I walked to the agenda where it tells everyone what they are supposed to be doing today. I checked Of Mice & Men’s but they weren’t doing anything today. No interviews, no sound check, no set times, they weren’t meeting any fans either. I was a whole range of emotions right now. I went back to the bus to sleep for a while in the back room.
I woke up with my head buried in Austin’s chest. when did he come in? I didn’t really care he was just so warm.
"Hey sleepy head."
"Hi.." I groaned out in tiredness.
"Where were you? After I finished my set?" I asked curiously.
"I went into town with Alan because I thought you had a couple of interviews after the show."
"Oh okay. What did you get in town?"
"I got some work done on the tattoo of the eagle on my stomach and then we went to get some movies and popcorn for tonight. Do you want to join?"
"If you don’t mind?"
"Not at all, I think Jenna is coming as well so they won’t be in the lounge for that long."
I suppose watching movies with Austin at night and spending nearly the whole day with him was good because I didn’t have time to cut. No matter how much I wanted to I couldn’t because he was watching my every move. Did he really care that much?
I woke up with my arms snaked around Iris’ small petite body. She looked so cute when she was asleep. I carried her to her bunk which was labelled ‘Ree’s Star Wars bunk’ None of their crew or anyone in her band were called Ree so I gathered it was hers. As I laid her down her shirt came up a little showing her right hip. There was scratches all over it, I gasped in shock. I slowly turned her onto her back and they were also on her left hip. I checked her arms, she had cut there previously but they had healed and were just barely noticeable scars now. I sat on the floor, a tear rolling down my left cheek. Why didn’t I notice before? What was I supposed to do? Do I tell her I saw them? No, wait until she tells me. But what if she never tells me? What if she carries on hurting herself? I couldn’t tell her to stop could I? She obviously doesn’t want me to know but I need to say something, I can’t live knowing about it when she hasn’t even told me. I left a note on the pillow for her when she wakes up."Text or ring me when you wake up? I need to speak to you. You look really cute by the way when you sleep ;) <3"
I walked back to my bus and jumped into the shower, the guys were still asleep probably hungover. I got changed into the clothes I had grabbed from my bunk earlier. I was about to walk into the back lounge when I heard laughing from in there. I walked back and checked all the bunks everyone was their but Alan, it sounded like he was with Jenna.
I grabbed a bottle of water and headed out of the bus. I wondered around and found a patch of grass which seemed pretty far from the car park so I decided to stay there for a while. My phone started ringing in my pocket I new who it was before I answered.
Iris: Hi, I’m awake. What do you want to talk about?
Austin: Can you meet me at the patch of grass behind the car park?
Iris: Sure, I’m on my way now.
I hung up and laid my phone onto the grass and led down trying to think of what I was going to say. I felt a shadow cast over me, I opened my eyes to see her peering over me.
Iris: “Hey. What do you wanna talk about" She sat down beside me.
Austin: “Hi…err….I know it has nothing to do with me but…when I carried you back to your bunk this morning…err…your shirt slipped up a bit and I-I saw the scratches on your hips.."
Iris: “I-I…errr…"
Tears started to fall down her beautiful face. I tear fell down my cheek as well. Why did I say something? I should of just left it.
Austin: I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of said anything."
I started walking a way when I heard her say something barely making a sound. I sat back down next to her and she started again.
Iris: “It started when I was 13. My dad sexually abused me neither Jack or my mum new. He was also an alcoholic. One day after he came back from the bar he hit my mum and she was badly injured. I called an ambulance and because I did my dad hit me, what am I saying he isn’t my dad and never has been. I wasn’t as injured as my mum but I was still hurt. Jack was at Jake’s house for tea. I woke up in the hospital. I asked a nurse why I was there and she told me I had 3 broken ribs and my left leg was fractured. My dad hurt my mum so much she..err..she died in hospital. After that I turned to cutting. I thought it was the only way I could cope but then I found music. I still do cut but just not as often because music is my new escape. Me and Josh bought a house together and spent most of our time in the basement playing music. Jack played guitar whilst I sang. We wrote some of our best songs in that cramped basement. We then found the rest of the guys and decided to form a band. I never stopped cutting, it’s become a part of me y’know. I-I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me, I get it."
By now tears were falling freely down both of our faces. I pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. She finally told me her secret, and the secret her brother didn’t know. She opened up to me.
Austin: “I would never leave you. I have never cared for anyone more in my life than I care about you….I love you Iris…"
Oh fuck!! Why did I say that? I meant it but I didn’t want to tell her…fuck!!
Iris: “W-w-what?"
Austin: "..I-I love you.."
Iris’ pov
It felt nice to let it all out, I was glad I told him. Whenever I was around him I felt safe, like he was the only person I could trust…probably more than Jack…
"I love you"
When those words left his mouth my body went into shock. Did he really love me or did he just feel sorry for me? Right now I didn’t care I was so tired I just wanted to sleep. My eyes started to feel heavy so I buried my head into Austin’s chest falling fast asleep.
I woke up still on the same patch of grass I had fallen asleep on. I checked the time to see how long I had until my set. “Shit" “Whats wrong babe?" God his voice when he woke up was so hot. “My set is in 2 minutes. I need to go Austin, I’m sorry. Ill meet you here later?" “Sure, see you later babe" He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before quickly pulling away.
I ran to the stage in a matter of minutes, God i need to get into shape. When I saw the guys I tried to hide the massive grin that was plastered on my face, thank’s Austin. “What are you so smiley about?" Sam asked in a confused yet happy tone. “Nothing, come on! Get your asses on stage now."
The set was AMAZING, it was our best show yet. I couldn’t help but think of Austin though. When he told me he liked me at the beach and then I told him about my past and he said he loved me, I was just so confused it was unbelievable. I walked back to the patch of grass but Austin wasn’t there so I text him to see where he was.
Iris: “Hey, where are you? x"
I didn’t get a reply for quite a while. Anyway, I walked to the agenda where it tells everyone what they are supposed to be doing today. I checked Of Mice & Men’s but they weren’t doing anything today. No interviews, no sound check, no set times, they weren’t meeting any fans either. I was a whole range of emotions right now. I went back to the bus to sleep for a while in the back room.
I woke up with my head buried in Austin’s chest. when did he come in? I didn’t really care he was just so warm.
"Hey sleepy head."
"Hi.." I groaned out in tiredness.
"Where were you? After I finished my set?" I asked curiously.
"I went into town with Alan because I thought you had a couple of interviews after the show."
"Oh okay. What did you get in town?"
"I got some work done on the tattoo of the eagle on my stomach and then we went to get some movies and popcorn for tonight. Do you want to join?"
"If you don’t mind?"
"Not at all, I think Jenna is coming as well so they won’t be in the lounge for that long."
I suppose watching movies with Austin at night and spending nearly the whole day with him was good because I didn’t have time to cut. No matter how much I wanted to I couldn’t because he was watching my every move. Did he really care that much?
11/19/13