Sense Of Reality
You're The One Who Caused These Feelings
'My first kiss was... Jay.'
I leaped up onto the playground, scrambling up the primary coloured pieces of plastic.
'Come on, Jay!' I yelled, reaching the slide in a matter of seconds. I heard him coming after me, much slower than I had gone. I braced myself as he sat down behind me, legs in a 'V' shape as I adjusted myself between them. This was the highest slide in our area that we knew of. It wasn't enclosed, and there were heaps of twists and turns for us to go flying around. Every Friday on our walk home from school, we would slide down it, just like we did when we were younger.
It was a week before Jay died, and it would be our last slide ever. At the time, though, I hadn't known that. If I had, maybe I would have done things differently, I wouldn't have rushed up to the top just to come sailing down with Jay a minute later. Maybe I would have traced my fingers along the different parts of the playground, discussing with Jay the memories we had shared here - like when I was seven and had fallen off the monkey bars and scraped my hands raw and Jay had wrapped them in a gauze, under the watchful eye of his mother, and kissed them better. Or when Jay had knocked himself out walking into the fireman pole when he was thirteen. But things hadn't gone like that at all, and I had rushed through it, and not taken time to cherish every moment spent with Jay.
Jay wrapped his legs around me when I had gotten comfortable - to save me from toppling over the side - and reached up to grab the cold bars. We had scooted forward a little bit, and I was using all the strength in my toes to keep from sliding even further. Jay pulled us back up, his wristbands falling a few centimeters down his slim, toned forearm and his dark hair being ruffled by the slight breeze, before pushing us back down and wrapping his arms around my waist, placing his head on my shoulder. At the end of the seconds-long slide, we toppled forward, tumbling over the freshly laid down mulch. Jay and I were a mess of tangled limbs, and I sat up, picking off pieces of bark from Jay's hair and clothes, him returning the favour when he too found a more stable position.
We stood up and dusted each others backs and did our own legs, Jay playfully slapping my butt as I walked over to my bag. I whirled around, ready to slap him back, when I found we were only centimeters from each other. My smile faltered as I saw Jay's serious expression. His eyes were kind though, and the wind blew my hair into my face. He moved it to the side of my head, leaning closer as he tucked it behind my ear. I watched him as he paused, looking at my face. I could have sworn his eyes flicked to my lips, but I couldn't be sure.
'You're beautiful... Have I ever told you that?' He asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared into my eyes, so similar to his own. I laughed.
'Maybe once or twice.' I replied, smiling up at him. I blinked, and when I opened my eyes his, were closed, and he was leaning in. I felt his arms around my waist, sliding down in a V to join behind me. He pulled me even closer to him. My hearbeat picked up and I froze, my arms limp by my sides. His lips met mine, and I stared at him, my eyes wide, unresponding. He drew back, and I put my hands on his chest. His heartbeat was fast, running at least double time to mine. His breathing was slow and steady, unlike mine, which was frenzied. I looked up at him, a question in my eyes. Why? He sighed and unlinked his hands, running one through his hair. One stayed on my waist, touching gently.
I wasn't fazed by his arm around my waist, we did this quite often, like when he would tell me about this gorgeous girl that he had a crush on, or when we hugged when we were being overdramatic. It was the kiss.
'I... I'm sorry.' Jay said, stepping back. He picked up his bag and headed home, it banging lightly against his side. I stood there for who knows how long. I reached my fingers up to my lips, still tasting him on me.
'Don't go...' I whispered into the thin air. 'I liked it.'
I leaped up onto the playground, scrambling up the primary coloured pieces of plastic.
'Come on, Jay!' I yelled, reaching the slide in a matter of seconds. I heard him coming after me, much slower than I had gone. I braced myself as he sat down behind me, legs in a 'V' shape as I adjusted myself between them. This was the highest slide in our area that we knew of. It wasn't enclosed, and there were heaps of twists and turns for us to go flying around. Every Friday on our walk home from school, we would slide down it, just like we did when we were younger.
It was a week before Jay died, and it would be our last slide ever. At the time, though, I hadn't known that. If I had, maybe I would have done things differently, I wouldn't have rushed up to the top just to come sailing down with Jay a minute later. Maybe I would have traced my fingers along the different parts of the playground, discussing with Jay the memories we had shared here - like when I was seven and had fallen off the monkey bars and scraped my hands raw and Jay had wrapped them in a gauze, under the watchful eye of his mother, and kissed them better. Or when Jay had knocked himself out walking into the fireman pole when he was thirteen. But things hadn't gone like that at all, and I had rushed through it, and not taken time to cherish every moment spent with Jay.
Jay wrapped his legs around me when I had gotten comfortable - to save me from toppling over the side - and reached up to grab the cold bars. We had scooted forward a little bit, and I was using all the strength in my toes to keep from sliding even further. Jay pulled us back up, his wristbands falling a few centimeters down his slim, toned forearm and his dark hair being ruffled by the slight breeze, before pushing us back down and wrapping his arms around my waist, placing his head on my shoulder. At the end of the seconds-long slide, we toppled forward, tumbling over the freshly laid down mulch. Jay and I were a mess of tangled limbs, and I sat up, picking off pieces of bark from Jay's hair and clothes, him returning the favour when he too found a more stable position.
We stood up and dusted each others backs and did our own legs, Jay playfully slapping my butt as I walked over to my bag. I whirled around, ready to slap him back, when I found we were only centimeters from each other. My smile faltered as I saw Jay's serious expression. His eyes were kind though, and the wind blew my hair into my face. He moved it to the side of my head, leaning closer as he tucked it behind my ear. I watched him as he paused, looking at my face. I could have sworn his eyes flicked to my lips, but I couldn't be sure.
'You're beautiful... Have I ever told you that?' He asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared into my eyes, so similar to his own. I laughed.
'Maybe once or twice.' I replied, smiling up at him. I blinked, and when I opened my eyes his, were closed, and he was leaning in. I felt his arms around my waist, sliding down in a V to join behind me. He pulled me even closer to him. My hearbeat picked up and I froze, my arms limp by my sides. His lips met mine, and I stared at him, my eyes wide, unresponding. He drew back, and I put my hands on his chest. His heartbeat was fast, running at least double time to mine. His breathing was slow and steady, unlike mine, which was frenzied. I looked up at him, a question in my eyes. Why? He sighed and unlinked his hands, running one through his hair. One stayed on my waist, touching gently.
I wasn't fazed by his arm around my waist, we did this quite often, like when he would tell me about this gorgeous girl that he had a crush on, or when we hugged when we were being overdramatic. It was the kiss.
'I... I'm sorry.' Jay said, stepping back. He picked up his bag and headed home, it banging lightly against his side. I stood there for who knows how long. I reached my fingers up to my lips, still tasting him on me.
'Don't go...' I whispered into the thin air. 'I liked it.'
Notes
Title cred: The Death of Me - Asking AlexandriaSo... shocker? Probably not... I hope you liked it! ^.^
I love this so much <3 <3 <3
9/5/14